Venting I am 23 and soooo done with this world :(

[imdepressed999]

I am just so tired of everything, I should be dead right now, but no, my Fentanyl i ordered is arriving late because of USPS, and I am running out of time. Is it too much to ask for a peaceful death in my own bed? My own family is getting tired of me, and I do not blame them. I am 23 with no job, GF, and do not have any social life. I do not want to slave myself away for the next 50 years at some dead-end job, just to get by and survive. I do not know how people do it, am i just more awake? Are others just so numb to this existence they just accept it? Perhaps I'll never know, but i do not feel like i belong on this planet. I did not ask to be born. I will have a choice on when and where i die. People will call me lazy or worse, but i just see reality for what it looks like. I wish i could find a group Today like "Heaven's gate" where i could join and leave this planet with them. I do not have the energy to rebuild my life, i just don't. The other thing is if my Fent does not arrive, ill have to go to "Plan B" and that is shooting myself in the head with a 9MM at a park. I did not want to do this because of kids walking around ect... But this world has left me no choice if "Plan A" does not work. There was also "Plan C" of killing everyone and then myself. I feel like i would be taking the choice to live away from them so "Plan C" is a no go. I really tried, god knows i have. This bipolar and depression have robbed my soul like a cancer, yet nobody around me see's that i am about to sink.

 

[Unknown21]

I'm 21 years old and so fucking done with world, likely I'll ctb this year. Goodluck mate.

 

[FloopZee]

I do not want to slave myself away for the next 50 years at some dead-end job, just to get by and survive. I do not know how people do it, am i just more awake? Are others just so numb to this existence they just accept it?

That's understandable, I don't know how most people do it. I hope whatever you decide to do will give you some peace.

 

[Finalnight]

I was diagnosed with Asperger when I was 19, now I'm 27, I can't believe I let pass 8 more years of my fucking life, because of that now I'm living in a complete hell thanks to OCD, I regret so much not having killed myself all those years ago, I'm certain I was born just to suffer.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm the same age and I'm also very much tired of existing here, 23 years really is such an incredibly long time to me, I envy those with access to that method as it sounds so peaceful. But anyway it sounds really dreadful and torturous what you've been through, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.