Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
I'm finally got my SN, i'm waiting the other stuff right now, but I keep trying to imagine myself dying, like I imagine that after taking SN I'll prob feel a weird feeling I had never felt yet which is dying and I might be tempted to run where I ever I can to get help or i don't know call someone or whatever, do you force yourself to not act or can you simply not act or maybe you are render unconscious before you can do anything? or should I discharge my phone break my door handle to make sure i don't escape? I'm living alone in an apartment.
 
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MiseryLovesMyCompany

MiseryLovesMyCompany

Arcanist
Oct 8, 2020
482
You can do those things but you wouldn't get far after ingestion anyway, maybe put your phone far from you. I don't think anything else is necessary.
 
Infinite Conscious

Infinite Conscious

Experienced
Aug 18, 2020
282
You put a gun into your mouth and mumble: "If you don't shut the fuck up, I'll blow your brains instantly, mmkay?"
 
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muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Be 100% sure of your decision to such a strong degree that survival instinct no longer stops you. If you're hesitant, maybe take time to think it over a bit more. Good luck :hug:
 
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Deleted member 22650

Deleted member 22650

Student
Oct 7, 2020
153
Be 100% sure of your decision to such a strong degree that survival instinct no longer stops you. If you're hesitant, maybe take time to think it over a bit more. Good luck :hug:
Survival instinct always takes over, I tried to hang myself and somehow managed to climb the tree back up, once submerged with fear you do anything in your power to find a way out.
 
muffin222

muffin222

Enlightened
Mar 31, 2020
1,188
Survival instinct always takes over, I tried to hang myself and somehow managed to climb the tree back up, once submerged with fear you do anything in your power to find a way out.

I feel you. But, every year tens of thousands of people ctb and survival instinct doesn't take over. If the fear is overpowering you every time, it may be something in you that's not ready, in my opinion
 
M

Marauder

why keep existing when you´re no living?
Sep 9, 2020
97
Here is the guide from wise LetzteAusfahrt that might help:

"The process with impressions must be automatic so that you no longer have to deal with it at ctb
Because the easiest way to overcome SI is when you act impulsively when you are angry.
If you sit quietly and think about life that you lose with the ctb, think about your family and friends, then the SI gets bigger and bigger.
But if you think about everything bad that got you there, about the people who caused you pain, then you can build up anger.
Anger at this life that you finally want to end.
The more bad things you imagine, the more anger you can build up if you just want to be gone and call up the automated process. Including deduction."
 
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262653

262653

Cluesome
Apr 5, 2018
1,733
or should I discharge my phone break my door handle to make sure i don't escape?

I remember getting myself into a nasty predicament where I didn't see a way out, and my SI took over. It was like a wild beast taking full control of the body, started screaming and rawring, like an animal who is being eaten alive. It's stupid and just as much powerful. There have been triggers in the past that urged me to make an attempt to CTB, and now they either don't affect me anymore, or I'm trying my best to avoid it. It's like SI is adaptive. Like it has access to my memory block, processing power, sees everything I see, so whenever I find what I think is a loophole, my survival side immediately patches it up. Which makes me wondering why should I even try to obtain information that will be used against me by a superior force.

It works both ways. Not being aware of the danger makes it easier to kill myself, but at the same time not knowing the variables makes the outcome more unpredictable, and I could as well get injured, or put myself in a disadvantage in some other way. Knowing the variables might allow to predict outcomes more accurately, but then my survival side will use this knowledge to stall my plans and to stave off my death.

I know from personal and anecdotal experience that mind-altering substances, like weed and alcohol, can block some inhibitory functions, and some of these functions might be vital, but I wouldn't dare to mix SN with any of these. There might be drugs compatible to SN method. Stan's guide mentioned painkillers and sedatives, but I'm not planning to use them and don't know much about them.
 

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