Discussion How would your perfect ctb look like?

[_Minsk]

Choose any method you would like, any location like hotel, nature, what time would it be? would it be a rainy day, or sunny one? or would you rather have it quick, without many details? be as creative as you want:)

Spoiler: plan

I think i would prefer a deep forest, snowy or rainy, a place where no one would find me...
the place would have a little lake. i would have a small rubber dinghy or surfboard.
it would be night, stars out and maybe even full moon reflecting on the water.
no people who could rescue me, surrounded by nature and the stars.
if i can get my hands on a cheap waterproof mp3 player and earphones i will take them with me.
i would start drinking a little and go trough my playlist with sad songs, pics and memories..

when i feel ready i gonna start taking benzos, mdma and continue drinking.
i would go into the lake and get deep into it, far enough to not be able getting out of it..
when im far enough away i will wait till the drugs make me feel like floating in bliss and make me pass out..
when i slowly feel like passing out i will just let go of the boat and slowly sink, i wont force anything. the drugs will take any pain i might have.
ive had a lucid dream some time ago, doing exactly this method, it felt so peaceful, i can't even put it into words. it felt so real then i woke up...

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I want to feel calm and not afraid or anxious.
It would be my rented apartment where I will feel comfortable that no one will disturb me.
I will wake up late, have a cup of coffee, a cigarette, a light meal, and apply 10x100mcg/h fentanyl patches.
When I will start to feel drowsy I will take some benzos and put some cutted patches into my mouth, against the cheeks and between lips and gums.
Then I will go to bed and hopefully get some rest..

 

[LMLN]

SN in the woods on a sunny warm afternoon. It would be quick, less than 20 minutes to unconsciousness.

 

[Iwantoutrightnow]

A windy, rainy night at the beach. I would walk into the sea and be swept away by the waves. I would die quickly and peacefully and I would be clean. My body would never be found.

 

[NightmareTour]

Just a word of warning, MDMA actually increases your adrenaline responses. Don't know how it reacts with benzos, but might not be the best choice of drug to ctb on if you're going for peaceful.

For me? Have a massive blowout party for my birthday. Hopefully it'll be a warm, clear night. Lots of booze, lots of cocaine.Then, when I'm coming down from the coke, head out into the middle of the park, right by the lake. Lie down in a nice peaceful spot away from all the paths, put my headphones on, put on a playlist of my favourite music, and take myself a nice, big, fatal dose of oramorph or morphine. Slip away into the music and watch the stars until I eventually pass out and stop breathing.

Shame I'm an ex addict, and thanks to my previous partner, I can't get hold of the stuff from any dealers.

 

[Mistake of Nature]

It would take place at sunset on a warm evening, but with a cool breeze, like when summer transitions into fall. I'd be somewhere in nature — in the forest, mountains, etc. — and I'd take N with a partner so I wouldn't have to die alone. In our last moments, we'd reminisce about the good times in our lives and feel at peace with the nothingness that awaits us.

 

[irreversibledamage]

I'm sleeping, my room gets filled with CO and after I ctb, the air is slowly exhausted to the outside, leaving the room safe for anyone entering.

 

[ManWithNoName]

Peaceful for me as well. A while ago I had posted a thread about my conversation with Dignitas. They are very nice people, and this would be my choice—but not likely due to the fact that I'm not physically ill, and getting the necessary approval from those in charge for reasons of "I've had enough, thank you" will be an uphill battle.

My other argument would be that both my parents suffered from Alzheimer's and that this affliction is definitely in the cards for me. But this argument would not suffice for the protocol at Dignitas.

That said, the right conditions to ctb is preferable. Even if there is snow outside. British author Terry Pratchett did a very good documentary about Dignitas, and was with someone the day he ctb'd with Dignitas. It was snowing outside, but still a beautiful day:

 

[Oyoy]

Spoiler: Spoiler

falatio

 

[Quarky00]

I love you perfect plan , and I'm not far off .

For me it would be sunset at the beach . I would probably swim towards the sunset before (I'd rather die relaxed watching it but I get floating) . Timed morphine would be ideal as I recently reflected. Some of the sunsets here are simply breathtaking: strong hues of crimson , pink , yellow , orange and purple shooting across that big blue canvas above -- and the big endless green-blue wavy canvas bellow .

My original plan was at home and then hotel but I'm definitely switching to beach, despite the risks (and it would be SN). I will be very content, probably crying with joy and sadness (and I wish someone was there for company/hug; impossible). Despite risks of gore or insipiration or glorification, I would like it to be documented and freely available, so that people would know it's hard yet possible to die smiling; rather than locked up in a room with extreme anxious and severe distress. It would give me solace to wave goodbye while knowing that someone, somewhere, in the future, got it -- and waved back.

 

[Deleted member 17331]

I always liked to imagine my body with all the possible drugs (fentanyl, risperidone, benzos, a few glasses of whiskey ...) slowly sinking into the ocean. A calm and warm ocean, but it gets colder and darker as I sink.

This is silly, right? hahaha

I know that in reality I am going to die in a cold, cheap hotel room, and my body is going to be thrown away like garbage, as if nothing has happened.

Anyway, thanks for the fantasy moment.

 

[K-O]

Im post imagining and wishful thinking..
even if i try it immediately boomerangs back just like anything else regarding my "well being"..
I will go to the cemetery were he is buried, it doesn't have a gravestone yet- so its still a pile of sand.. i'll lie on top his sand belly just like i used to do, cuddle and sleep it off..

 

[LastRide]

I'll be sitting in my garden, hope there'll be a beautiful sunset....I'll have a few good drugs ready to put me in a good mood, I'll listen to some some music and just relax get into the mood, remember all the good times I had during my life, be grateful for those, I'll forget all the shit that ever happened because at this point it won't matter....and then I'll slowly raise my gun to my head, check on correct position like I've been practicing, pull the trigger, take one last deep breath, and...fire !

 

[summermoon]

My perfect CTB would have me -

- Laughing and joking around with my family for the last time. I can't remember when was the last time I saw my parents happy.
- Thereafter having a nice meal alone in my room.
- Reading the last few chapters of my long awaited novel and getting to that ending.
- Taking the needed amount of N or S and then starting a new book of my favorite author.
- Feeling drowsy, knowing its time to say goodbye. Remembering my ex and trying to picture her for the last time and letting go.
- Never wake up again.

 

[Aavemainen]

A warm summer day full of partying and relaxing with my friends and family, eating good food, chatting, dancing, maybe some recreational drugs and booze. Later in the evening when everyone would disperse, I'd walk alone to the beach or maybe into a forest, enjoy the Finnish light summer night when the sun sets for only two hours at best (depends a bit on the latitude though), take my N/SN, lay down and finally be at peace.

 

[Alain]

CTB of my dream : Laying down in my bed, with my dog's toys and a photo of him (because he was my all life). Put some music. I think musics I loved when I was a teenager, Aerosmith, Scorpions, ToTo, and some gospel. I am atheist but gospel is one of my favorite music style. A magic pill that kill me within five or ten minutes, the time for me to enjoy those last moments peacefully. Then I'd close my eyes, go to a deep and endless sleep.
Oh, and I'd turn off the alarm clock. Just in case :)

 

[Ardesevent]

I want to slit my chest open, and just lie in my room to watch the blood flow out until I die. It would hurt so much, but knowing I would finally die would be amazing.

 

[niloc]

Perfect would quick and unexpected -- like vaporized by a nuclear bomb going off.

Realistically, my perfect plan just comes down to being a nice day out in the middle of the woods. I've gone through the steps several times now

 

[Soul]

Being instantly vaporized along with the whole world is a nice idea.

I'd go for being quickly crunched up by a pterodactyl after a few hours in a late Cretaceous tree watching quetzalcoatlusses (quetzalcoatli?) take off, fly, fight, fuck, feed, land, sleep and whatever else they enjoyed.

If time travel's not on the menu, a cave would be nice, as long as there were no bats or bugs or amphibians in it to surprise me to get hurt when the @nitrogen turns out to work just fine on co2-retentive types.