tasmaka
Neutral good
- Feb 14, 2026
- 31
TLDR at the bottom
On February 15th , Less than a week ago Ive had yet another death In my family, this was my closest as far as family goes , my grandfather was hit by a car in the road, died, infront of his daughter and granddaughter, and images even got posted online of the incedent.
A week before, February 8th he had came over to my house, me and my parents were home. He gave me a black folder, containing over a hundred dollars which he gave as an appreciation gift as well as a gift for my academic accomplishments. i spent a few during the week, maybe 5-8 dollars, just to buy beverages at school.
On valentines day, or the Monday after, the 16th, I went to spend the day with my boyfriend, but because of school I couldn't go to the bank to put the cash on my card, my mom gave me money , about 50 dollars, for me to spend while out. She explained I could have it as the sudden death 2 days before probably had me down, yknow, a feel better gift.
Just now, 7am, the 20th, I asked for some money from the folder, only 5 dollars, so I could buy food. For background, yesterday was the funeral service, I missed the first day because of school. After the service , I was drinking all day, to 3 in the morning, not severely emotional, but just to feel something other then grief. I wake up at 5 in the morning for school, while my alcohol tolerance is high, I was well over my head. Ive never had hangovers even after full weeks of partying, this morning I felt severely nauseous. I wanted to eat, but my money ive saved was getting thin, only 4 dollars, I wanted to get a bit from the folder, to buy breakfast before I get to class, yknow, ease the sickness. She tells me I only have 30 dollars… what?
She tells me she decided to take 60 dollars from the folder, since she gave me about that much in the past week for various events. Not from any other savings, or stash, but the folder. Now my 100 dollars which is the only proof I have of my grandfathers active existence in my life is down to 30, well now 25, (he drank, he definitely knew a bad hangover, no guilt on my end), but the point stands, what do I do?
Would you ever touch this money? Save it for desperate needs? Spend it on hangovers like this??
Ive hated the concept of my attachment issues and separation anxiety always, this is how they meet, but emotions aside.
How do I spend a dead-mans money??
TLDR: my mother took most of my money from my recently passed grandfather, with so little left, how should this be spent?
Adding on here: Since the need first came to me Ive had a sense of survival guilt almost, people cried for him, he was a good, contributing to society man, I wish it couldve been me instead a bit, someone who has a good life and love in their life, especially enough to have a packed funeral, is a waste of death (hey thats a compliment..) Id deem my suicidal nature as majorly passive, active only when my issues all meet. Thats that.
*apologies for all spelling errors, needed to pump this out before time for class gets tight
On February 15th , Less than a week ago Ive had yet another death In my family, this was my closest as far as family goes , my grandfather was hit by a car in the road, died, infront of his daughter and granddaughter, and images even got posted online of the incedent.
A week before, February 8th he had came over to my house, me and my parents were home. He gave me a black folder, containing over a hundred dollars which he gave as an appreciation gift as well as a gift for my academic accomplishments. i spent a few during the week, maybe 5-8 dollars, just to buy beverages at school.
On valentines day, or the Monday after, the 16th, I went to spend the day with my boyfriend, but because of school I couldn't go to the bank to put the cash on my card, my mom gave me money , about 50 dollars, for me to spend while out. She explained I could have it as the sudden death 2 days before probably had me down, yknow, a feel better gift.
Just now, 7am, the 20th, I asked for some money from the folder, only 5 dollars, so I could buy food. For background, yesterday was the funeral service, I missed the first day because of school. After the service , I was drinking all day, to 3 in the morning, not severely emotional, but just to feel something other then grief. I wake up at 5 in the morning for school, while my alcohol tolerance is high, I was well over my head. Ive never had hangovers even after full weeks of partying, this morning I felt severely nauseous. I wanted to eat, but my money ive saved was getting thin, only 4 dollars, I wanted to get a bit from the folder, to buy breakfast before I get to class, yknow, ease the sickness. She tells me I only have 30 dollars… what?
She tells me she decided to take 60 dollars from the folder, since she gave me about that much in the past week for various events. Not from any other savings, or stash, but the folder. Now my 100 dollars which is the only proof I have of my grandfathers active existence in my life is down to 30, well now 25, (he drank, he definitely knew a bad hangover, no guilt on my end), but the point stands, what do I do?
Would you ever touch this money? Save it for desperate needs? Spend it on hangovers like this??
Ive hated the concept of my attachment issues and separation anxiety always, this is how they meet, but emotions aside.
How do I spend a dead-mans money??
TLDR: my mother took most of my money from my recently passed grandfather, with so little left, how should this be spent?
Adding on here: Since the need first came to me Ive had a sense of survival guilt almost, people cried for him, he was a good, contributing to society man, I wish it couldve been me instead a bit, someone who has a good life and love in their life, especially enough to have a packed funeral, is a waste of death (hey thats a compliment..) Id deem my suicidal nature as majorly passive, active only when my issues all meet. Thats that.
*apologies for all spelling errors, needed to pump this out before time for class gets tight
