How would you define dying early or in a young age?

[noname223]

I recently read the biography of David Foster Wallace. He committed suicide at the age of 46. They said he died in a young age. I think he strugggled a lot with suicidality. There is the following quote of him: "The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness—awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water.""

I am suicidal since over a decade. I am in my mid twenties. I try to avoid or at least postpone suicide but it is pretty difficult. I also ask myself a lot how can one get that old. Or at least with the circumstances my conditions give me. For me making it to 46 sounds pretty difficult. And I have respect for David Foster Wallace for enduring his pain that long. I have a similar stance like him on suicide I see it only as the last resort.

When thinking about myself making it to 46 sounds pretty difficult and hard to reach. But when I think about other people - people who really enjoy living and want to live, dying at 46 sounds quite young and sad.

I don't have something sophisticated to say but it is a question to ruminate about.

 

[bobosanogo]

I'd say your thoughts are plenty sophisticated. Just because they're not especially profound in this case or there's no exact "eureka!" moment, it doesn't mean they aren't thought provoking. Especially considering that there's no definition for youth that's universally accepted, or how people say things like "today I am 24 years 'young'", it really does look different when you approach it from multiple perspectives. Personally, I think it mainly concerns people's view of themselves in relation to their society, and their accomplishments too.

 

[Sluggish_Slump]

It's all relative, so yeah - because the average life span of a male is around 75, then 46 is considered a premature / early death.

 

[macrocosm]

I recently read the biography of David Foster Wallace. He committed suicide at the age of 46. They said he died in a young age. I think he strugggled a lot with suicidality. There is the following quote of him: "The capital-T Truth is about life before death. It is about making it to 30, or maybe 50, without wanting to shoot yourself in the head. It is about simple awareness—awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, that we have to keep reminding ourselves, over and over: "This is water, this is water.""

I am suicidal since over a decade. I am in my mid twenties. I try to avoid or at least postpone suicide but it is pretty difficult. I also ask myself a lot how can one get that old. Or at least with the circumstances my conditions give me. For me making it to 46 sounds pretty difficult. And I have respect for David Foster Wallace for enduring his pain that long. I have a similar stance like him on suicide I see it only as the last resort.

When thinking about myself making it to 46 sounds pretty difficult and hard to reach. But when I think about other people - people who really enjoy living and want to live, dying at 46 sounds quite young and sad.

I don't have something sophisticated to say but it is a question to ruminate about.

I'm approaching my mid 40s and have had thoughts of departing this world since I was 4 years old. To be honest there have been times of unbearable pain and have been dreaming of suicide for 30 years.

Every year I say to myself "this is the year." I even bought a custom Japanese Tanto for a Seppuku option, and bought handguns as another option to end my life. I definitely do not want to grow old and frail, and I've already endured years of immense darkness and despair. Honestly not sure how I survived this long. Maybe because I got professional help. But I still dream of the end everyday even with the meds and professional support.

So not sure what to tell you. Suicide is a beautiful and noble thing that I've delayed for too long and soon will accomplish it. But if you have doubts or are hesitant to do it, then I would say explore your life options first: medical help, explore and adventure, find purpose…etc

 

[KuroiSH]

It's all subjective, and everyone has different opinions of course, but I personally define it as dying before you can say you're satisfied with the life you've lived. If suicide gives you that satisfaction - you can say you've lived a satisfactory life, and haven't died a premature death.

 

[Ultracheese]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Wallace biography. I've talked to the author of that biography and he's a really nice guy.

I think anything 60 or below is generally considered dying young-ish. The term tends to mostly be used for kids or those in their early 20s, but I've heard it used for 40 and 50-year-olds too. When Eddie Van Halen died a couple of years ago at 65, I saw a few people say he died young. But I think generally 60 and under is the baseline used.

 

[noname223]

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the Wallace biography. I've talked to the author of that biography and he's a really nice guy.

I think anything 60 or below is generally considered dying young-ish. The term tends to mostly be used for kids or those in their early 20s, but I've heard it used for 40 and 50-year-olds too. When Eddie Van Halen died a couple of years ago at 65, I saw a few people say he died young. But I think generally 60 and under is the baseline used.

Pretty cool you had the opportunity to talk to D.T. Max. I think the biography was very well written and I enjoyed reading it. I was sometimes fascinated how many details were described as if D.T. Max was in the room (which was not the case). When did you have the chance to talk with him?

Though I had some concerns. Would have been DFFW himself be glad about this biography? The book was pretty entertaining maybe exactly the kind of feeling DFW tried to avoid.
Moreover the precise details made me think whether the author always stayed with the truth and not following a narrative which sounds interesting.

 

[Ultracheese]

Pretty cool you had the opportunity to talk to D.T. Max. I think the biography was very well written and I enjoyed reading it. I was sometimes fascinated how many details were described as if D.T. Max was in the room (which was not the case). When did you have the chance to talk with him?

Though I had some concerns. Would have been DFFW himself be glad about this biography? The book was pretty entertaining maybe exactly the kind of feeling DFW tried to avoid.
Moreover the precise details made me think whether the author always stayed with the truth and not following a narrative which sounds interesting.

I read the biography a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it. I'm a huge fan of literary biography and actually aspire to be a biographer one day. I consider the DFW one to be one of my favorites for a lot of the reasons you mentioned, the sheer amount of detail and vividness in the prose, if that doesn't sound too pretentious.

I emailed him roughly a month ago because I was organizing a panel for the DFW Society and wanted to get him to join to talk about his experience writing the biography and the effect it had on Wallace-related scholarship. He wasn't able to do it due to scheduling reasons as he's doing promotional work for his current book about Stephen Sondheim. But he was very gracious and even sent me an email congratulating me about another speaking engagement I have.

As for the concern about whether he would've approved of the biography, I think that's understandable. I don't know if you've ever read Jonathan Franzen's essay Farther Away, but I'd highly check it out if you haven't, as it explores Franzen's interesting, but misguided in my opinion, perspective on why Wallace killed himself. Given Wallace's insecurities, I doubt he would've wanted a biography written about him, but I believe he wanted him and his work to be remembered, as most writers do, and oftentimes a biography is a key step in helping a writer gain "critical importance" and maintain a legacy.

 

[noname223]

I read the biography a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it. I'm a huge fan of literary biography and actually aspire to be a biographer one day. I consider the DFW one to be one of my favorites for a lot of the reasons you mentioned, the sheer amount of detail and vividness in the prose, if that doesn't sound too pretentious.

I emailed him roughly a month ago because I was organizing a panel for the DFW Society and wanted to get him to join to talk about his experience writing the biography and the effect it had on Wallace-related scholarship. He wasn't able to do it due to scheduling reasons as he's doing promotional work for his current book about Stephen Sondheim. But he was very gracious and even sent me an email congratulating me about another speaking engagement I have.

As for the concern about whether he would've approved of the biography, I think that's understandable. I don't know if you've ever read Jonathan Franzen's essay Farther Away, but I'd highly check it out if you haven't, as it explores Franzen's interesting, but misguided in my opinion, perspective on why Wallace killed himself. Given Wallace's insecurities, I doubt he would've wanted a biography written about him, but I believe he wanted him and his work to be remembered, as most writers do, and oftentimes a biography is a key step in helping a writer gain "critical importance" and maintain a legacy.

I read Farther Away from Franzen. I am uncertain how to evaluate it though. Especially what the real motives of Franzen were. I am kind of impressed by your engagement concerning the DFW panel. I could very well imagine you would be a great biographer.