How useful do you find 'suicide hotlines' etc? I hate talking to the Samaritans (UK)

[Viceroy]

You just talk and they hmm and ahh and thats it. They're not allowed to really do much talking at all. Its not a normal conversation, its just a one sided rant. What I really want is someone to talk to, who talks back! Ranting makes me feel okay for a bit but then I feel worse afterwards cause I realize this is how fucking useless it all is! I've heard in america they can send police to ur door if u talk about killing urself. At least with the samaritans u can literally kill urself and they stay on the line if u want them to!

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I called the suicide hotline. I was very close to the edge. They seemed to be in a rush to get off the phone. They asked if they could call me back in 24 hours. Granted, they did call back but I still felt like I was about to do something. I didn't find it to be helpful.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It solves nothing but it can be a way to feel listened to for some.
I've used them in the past.
Mostly it was much the same every time, it actually felt like a checklist of responses was being followed. Once I had some woman really insistent on specific details of suicide methods and that felt really creepy. Once I had the phone put down on me after the bloke said "I can't cope with this anymore." Once I had a chap allow me to go and get some food and a loo break after an hour and come back for another hour because he was actually listening and interested.
It helped calm me for a little while but offered no practical help, that's not their job.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's probably a more useful resource for people that don't have support groups like this one. In this environment we can reach out to one another and gain support, but imagine how it feels when you don't have this and there's literally nobody in the world you can express these thoughts and feelings to. It's not a perfect system, but I would much rather it be there then people have nobody to talk to.

 

[Lilacmoon]

"you're still alive so clearly they helped"
hahaha.
no. no. they aren't useful for me. they have no real empathy. it's like talking to a wall.

 

[Symbiote]

A virtual chat bot has more empathy than the volunteers who work at the Suicide Hotlines. They're just randoms off the street or trying to get their community hours so they can give themselves an easy pat on the back.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

It's probably a more useful resource for people that don't have support groups like this one. In this environment we can reach out to one another and gain support, but imagine how it feels when you don't have this and there's literally nobody in the world you can express these thoughts and feelings to. It's not a perfect system, but I would much rather it be there then people have nobody to talk to.

That's very true. I'd add that since coming here I've found the support I needed that simply doesn't exist anywhere else. And whilst The Samaritans aren't perfect and do have to keep a distance to the caller, they do make the effort to at least be there to listen and do keep things confidential.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Last time I tried calling (3 years ago in the Us) I was placed on hold for 45 min before I gave up. I've seen reports on here that they have sent police to peoples houses for wellness checks.

 

[Deleted member 22650]

Last time I called which was 4-5 years ago I was still a teen and they ask for my info then send the police, they brought me to psychiatry for a solid 3 months, needless to say I never called them again

 

[Mixo]

I called a local samaritans and the counselor merely asked me some closed ended questions about whether I'd tried this or that and after only a few minutes said, "I don't know how I can help you, really." It was a total waste of time. And yes, American suicide hotlines will definitely call police on you once you cross the threshold of discussing suicidal plans (as opposed to discussing ideation). I think it might be useful for people who are dealing solely with some mild to moderate mental health issues and probably dealing with less complex, chronic issues in their lives. I don't really find much use in speaking to anyone about my issues because at the end of the day, there's nothing they can do to change the unmitigating sources of terror, pain, and suffering in my life.

 

[fionasparks39]

hmm, in where i live, you're better off calling a trusted friend than the hotline. there have been stories of being out of reach and not being on the priority list. my personal experience with them was also not helpful, they used a checklist set like how they did with @Underscore with me and when i told them i was too broke to afford the medical assistance they advice, they never returned to me with alternatives as they promised. tho i did hear some of my friends get good experiences. i guess it depends heavily on when you call.

which still sucks tho vision-mission-wise? ain't their purpose to prevent as many suicides from happening as possible? it's pretty nil if your method is hit or miss.

 

[DeadbyDawn63]

I've had more success with the Samaritans email service. I can get out the things I want to say and they always reply as long as you keep sending emails. It's a good way to get out the really deep dark thoughts that freak people out.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I would add that I'm only referring to The Samaritans UK. Other hotlines are available and YMMV.

 

[NightmareTour]

It's like talking to a robot. No empathy, just a list of questions they need to check off, 3 or 4 emotionless responses they're allowed to give, and they get off the phone as quickly as possible. After an hour or two on hold of course, because someone who is suicidal is going to wait that long.

I actually had one tell me that I obviously wasn't going to kill myself because I lived in a flat in a building where I was vaguely familiar with some of my neighbours, and I should go see one of them. At 3am.

Edit: I mixed up ctb attempt 2 with a different time. It did happen after calling samaritans, but I waited for ages and nobody picked up. I took that as proof that nobody would care and went ahead.

 

[Swimbike]

I was a volunteer at Samaritans. I spoke to the most incredible people. They're my fondest memories. I enjoyed our conversations, to be accepted you must believe in a persons right to CBT.

 

[Ardesevent]

The one time I gave it a try I got put on hold so long I gave up. Definitely not the most helpful option.

 

[Nutshell]

You just talk and they hmm and ahh and thats it. They're not allowed to really do much talking at all. Its not a normal conversation, its just a one sided rant. What I really want is someone to talk to, who talks back! Ranting makes me feel okay for a bit but then I feel worse afterwards cause I realize this is how fucking useless it all is! I've heard in america they can send police to ur door if u talk about killing urself. At least with the samaritans u can literally kill urself and they stay on the line if u want them to!

Can't say I've ever gotten as far as to have a conversation with them. The closest I got was phoning the Samaritans yesterday in the middle of self harming. I let it ring out and eventually hung up as I couldn't fathom anything other than just a really awkward conversation "I'm cutting myself, poor me I want to die.."
So I patched myself up and ordered a bottle of cheap red on deliveroo instead.

 

[Frew]

I've had a couple of good conversations with the Samaritans. Both at like 12 at night. Both times they seemed like they really cared and we talked about so many things, for about an hour. It's just luck about who will pick up I think. Also I really appreciate they're pro choice, so you can be totally honest. I heard a volunteer at a talk I went to saying that they will sit and talk to someone as they die even.

 

[Disappointered]

I once tried calling a distress line for my work that is touted as being available 24/7 and on all holidays. I called three separate occasions over the span of a year. Not once was the phone answered. It's a very evil and hypocritical organization that reflects the true nature of the ruling class of the country I'm in. All about branding and pseudo-progressive social engineering but never actually improving anyone's quality of life except the same age old sect and its privileged boot-lickers. They have to keep publishing studies about how non-whites don't do well as though that means they're somehow improving things but it never does and never will. They'll post a few more self-serving examples of outsiders in their system who supposedly found success but the power bases and differentials between different groups have remained the same for centuries.

edit - for centuries, and imo are not going to change beyond intentionally deceptive superficiality for centuries to come

 

[Lost Magic]

When my mother died, I phone Samaritans all the time (too much actually). I got to be honest most of those souls I spoke to were wonderful to talk to. Okay, they do have some scripted stuff and some are better than others but I did have a convo with many of them and they really helped me. That's just my experience.

 

[Blue Rose]

I have never called suicide hotlines. So I don't know whether it is helpful of not.
But I think it will be helpful to many people.

 

[signifying nothing]

From the Samaritans website, their core values:

"Listening
Exploring feelings alleviates distress and helps people to reach a better understanding of their situation and the options open to them.

Confidentiality
If people feel safe, they are more likely to be open about their feelings.

Non-judgemental
We want people to be able to talk to us without fear of prejudice or rejection. People making their own decisions wherever possible

People making their own decisions
We believe that people have the right to find their own solution and that telling people what to do takes responsibility away from them.

Human contact
Giving people time, undivided attention and empathy meets a fundamental emotional need and reduces distress and despair."

 

[blue_muse]

Not useful personally because Samaritans etc. are like corporations who throw money, quick-fix 'solutions' in the case of suicide hotlines, at a problem no matter how complicated. One organisation I put my trust in completely broke confidentiality, which led to 24/7 privacy invasion by many outside people purporting to care about my welfare.

 

[WornOutLife]

HERE's my experience. It was terrible!

 

[loopylou]

Do they ask for your name and address ( U.K. lines) ?

 

[Deleted member 26067]

I can't vouch for a comparison here in the U.S. since I've never utilized one. I'm certain they are all as useless as a condom in a convent, no matter the country.

While I'm not familiar with Samaritans here, judging from the name (assuming it's based upon the good Samaritan from scripture) they are probably religious, which means if they did give feedback of any kind, it'd boil down to "Jesus Jesus Jesus," and "God brought you into this world and it's a sin to kill yourself." Steaming piles of bullshit like that.

I laughed my ass off at the reply below that said they wanted him to call back in 24 hours. Seriously?!? They don't even PRETEND to give a shit. Just can't be arsed I guess....

Yes it's true in the U.S. one can technically be committed involuntarily for 72 hours for observation, generally by a doctor or police officer. It's known as the Baker Act (whoever this Baker is, I hope he gets cancer, the fascist scumbag). This is very, VERY rarely used however, as if they don't dot their "i's" and cross their "t's" and use care they can potentially be sued. The period of observation is carried out in the local maniac farm where the person may be drugged and probably raped/molested by the other patients or orderlies. Our "healthcare" system is a hot mess, you see, and it's never going to be fixed.

Compounding the problem is the inherent futility of committing a suicidal person; you can cut their fingernails, isolate them, keep sharp objects away, force feed them, whatever you wish, but where there's a will, there's a way. Ultimately if they want to die enough, they damn sure will.

 

[Swimbike]

Do they ask for your name and address ( U.K. lines) ?

They do not and your number is not visible to the volunteer.

 

[Misfit72]

I was a volunteer at Samaritans. I spoke to the most incredible people. They're my fondest memories. I enjoyed our conversations, to be accepted you must believe in a persons right to CBT.

CTB not CBT, which is even more useless.

When the Samaritans are good, they're very good, but when they're not, they're useless. One volunteer started talking to me about looking to do voluntary work, which is not what the Samaritans are supposed to do.

 

[Swimbike]

Human error is everywhere it seems.

 

[quicksand]

I didn't call, but emailed them a long time ago. When I replied to their reply, the contact said that they were not allowed to view the previous email chain, which stopped the conversation dead. It actually made me laugh, so I guess they did something right?