Help How to stop upsetting others?

[Wolf Girl]

I can't stop telling the few people in my life about how I'm feeling and co-ruminating about ctb. It's ruining all my relationships which is helpful for ctb because it reaffirms that I'm just a burden and alone, but it also makes living while I wait for my ctb date harder.

Does anyone have tips on how to hide things and act okay for someone who has a hard time keeping secrets?

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Easy, don't talk about it around others. That's literally it. So long as you don't talk about it they won't give a shit. Suppressing/ignoring your feelings and treating your time around them as more of distraction also helps.

 

[CantDoIt]

I have the same issue and I'm apparently terrible at masking. I feel a little better after therapy or when I am drinking coffee, oddly.
But every time someone wants to be positive I have the urge to be negative and talk about hating myself which is awful for those people and myself.

Having your mind always on something else is horrid. For me, the suicidal thoughts take up headspace I need for my loved ones. Sometimes being alone for awhile helps, but talking about how you want to ctb doesn't help othwrs but brutalizes your relationships.

 

[willitpass]

It took me years to learn how to mask at all and I was only able to fully mask as of a few months ago. Part of it was maturing and learning better social skills, part of it was realizing how much it hurt people to see me struggle, some of it was getting tired of having the same circular conversations and arguments about things, a lot of it is fear of being hospitalized again. I don't think any of it was a conscious effort, just a lot of small things building up.

 

[ihateearth]

Eventually they'll stop being your friend or coming around and answering your calls or texts. It's very upsetting to know someone wants to CTB when you don't and your life is full of things that you find fulfilling enough to value your life or want to live. It's distressing to where some will eventually stop being around you for their own peace and sanity.

Think of how different our mindset can be from the average person. They're on a different wavelength. They don't have the same past or in some cases traumas. Let them live their lives without knowing how you feel about yours. Don't make your suffering or pain infect their world. We're all living in our own worlds like our own little movie.

I think of it as let me not infect their lives and happiness or indifference with my problems. Everyone has problems. Spare them.