how to stop thinking about it

[dkdkdkdkkd]

so my initial plan was to ctb in like 2-3 months bcs it seems like it'll be a good thoughtful decision by the time and not an impulsive one. however idk how to keep myself from this thought it just stuck in my head it seems like everything circles around it and nothing else matters and with this kind of thinking i just don't know how to keep on going because i start to think that i should do it earlier bcs i just can't go on anymore. anyone has any advice on how to keep it on low for a little while?

 

[avaruus]

I don't think you really can get it off from your thoughts, especially knowning the date when you're going to die, even if the exact date is still unknown.
Due to my circumstances, have to be dead by the end of this month, and that's all i've been thinking for the past couple days, and don't see that changing.
Death is arguably the biggest moment of your entire life, so a lot of fear and anxiety come with it.
The only thing you can do, is to not give yourself any deadlines.

 

[dkdkdkdkkd]

I don't think you really can get it off from your thoughts, especially knowning the date when you're going to die, even if the exact date is still unknown.
Due to my circumstances, have to be dead by the end of this month, and that's all i've been thinking for the past couple days, and don't see that changing.
Death is arguably the biggest moment of your entire life, so a lot of fear and anxiety come with it.
The only thing you can do, is to not give yourself any deadlines.

thanks for this reply, I get what you say and think that it's true, but like, it's so miserable to be trapped in this situation when you can't do anything because you have a deadline. also, do you mind sharing why you have to be dead by the end of this month? it's okay if you don't want to share tho, i get it

 

[Maeve]

I don't think you can get it to go away but you can distract yourself from them by work and games or yt.

 

[avaruus]

thanks for this reply, I get what you say and think that it's true, but like, it's so miserable to be trapped in this situation when you can't do anything because you have a deadline. also, do you mind sharing why you have to be dead by the end of this month? it's okay if you don't want to share tho, i get it

I don't have any money, i could't pay rent this month and i have a lot of bills that i couldn't pay either.

 

[at_the_edge]

I don't have any money, i could't pay rent this month and i have a lot of bills that i couldn't pay either.

I also have significant financial problems. I have to declare bankruptcy in 2 different countries which could mean losing my European residency, and having to move to the other side of the world.

I just don't have the energy for moving countries, I can't even eat at the moment. And the financial consequences could last years.

Financial stress can play a significant role in wanting to ctb, at least for me anyway.

so my initial plan was to ctb in like 2-3 months bcs it seems like it'll be a good thoughtful decision by the time and not an impulsive one. however idk how to keep myself from this thought it just stuck in my head it seems like everything circles around it and nothing else matters and with this kind of thinking i just don't know how to keep on going because i start to think that i should do it earlier bcs i just can't go on anymore. anyone has any advice on how to keep it on low for a little while?

I also can't get the obsessive thoughts of ctb out of my head. I'm have so much fear around the method. I'm particularly worried about if I have enough will powder to keep the mask on long enough for the Nitrogen to work and SI, and me surviving with significant medical problems. My fear of ctb, has become my biggest stressor. It feeds into my depression and anxiety hugely.

All I can say is to try distract yourself as much as possible. Sometimes, being with friends helps me, and trying to keep busy. Although I struggle to get out of the house with the depression, and I'm not working, so it's hard to keep busy.

 

[dkdkdkdkkd]

I don't have any money, i could't pay rent this month and i have a lot of bills that i couldn't pay either.

i hate capitalism so much this is so sad , I'm sorry that this is happening to your, really

I also have significant financial problems. I have to declare bankruptcy in 2 different countries which could mean losing my European residency, and having to move to the other side of the world.

I just don't have the energy for moving countries, I can't even eat at the moment. And the financial consequences could last years.

Financial stress can play a significant role in wanting to ctb, at least for me anyway.

I also can't get the obsessive thoughts of ctb out of my head. I'm have so much fear around the method. I'm particularly worried about if I have enough will powder to keep the mask on long enough for the Nitrogen to work and SI, and me surviving with significant medical problems. My fear of ctb, has become my biggest stressor. It feeds into my depression and anxiety hugely.

All I can say is to try distract yourself as much as possible. Sometimes, being with friends helps me, and trying to keep busy. Although I struggle to get out of the house with the depression, and I'm not working, so it's hard to keep busy.

Your situation is so sad the whole moving because of the bankruptcy situation is so dumb like government really doesn't give a fuck about poor people.
Yeah distracting can be a way I think, I found a low-wage job just to distract myself bcs i know how demanding it can be. And yea it ofc helps for those 8-9 hours that I work, but I just can't get the thought out of my head after I'm done with my shift