Remanant
Member
- Sep 13, 2023
- 28
I know asking people who are alive isn't a great idea but I just can't seem to do it. I just stand there in the chair with the noose around my neck every time. I managed to push the chair for one attempt but I somehow managed to save myself. Ever since then, I just numb myself with alcohol or some cheap source of dopamine instead of ending it already. I guess it might be because I still have some hope and when there is no way out, I will eventually suicide. I've been doing this for a while i.e. self-sabotaging and trying to worsen my situation enough to ctb but I'm still here even after years of suicidal ideation. I know that this is inevitable. I will end my life one day. It's just a matter of when. And then its all over and I can finally sleep. I'm so tired man, I don't know why I go to sleep and wake up to live this shitty life day after day after day despite having access to a method that is fairly lethal.But one day, I'll leave. I know it. I hope you all find the peace you're searching for as well be it in life or death.