How to recover from being out of society for so long?

[DeathWish77]

I have been isolated and out of society for 8 years. My anxiety is sky high even in my own time. I have panic attacks and constant rumination and obsession. I'm a constant wreck. Last job I had in 2017 I had a major panic attack out of no where after 3 weeks on the job. I almost worry about going psychotic at this point. All I've done for the last 8 years is watch anime and use the internet. I don't even have a sense of self anymore.

Any advice?

 

[Sisyphus]

Exposure therapy. The only way out is through. Start slow and work your way up. Do a little bit at a time. One of the most effective ways to deal with anxiety is through exposure, according to every doctor.. You can look it up or tell me and I will recommend some books and resources for this therapy.

 

[timf]

I knew a guy once who trained dogs. He said the two worst types were Afghans and Sheep dogs. He said Afghans had such a high body sensitivity that they would sometimes have a heart attack as a result of a corrective tug on the leash and die. The sheep dogs were the opposite and seem impervious to any correction.

To me this spoke of a spectrum of neurological variability. I suspect that a similar spectrum can be found with humans. If you have a neurological configuration that is at the "wound pretty tight" end of the spectrum, you may have to protect yourself.

Social encounters can be rough even for people with the most insensitive neurology. If you look for employment, you may wish to select positions where there is not much social interaction. Taking things slow and in small steps might be the way to build management skills without being overwhelmed.

 

[L-L]

What would you want to do for work, if there were no boundaries or limitations in place?

Small, attainable steps. Expect setbacks. Overcome issues.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

If you look for employment, you may wish to select positions where there is not much social interaction. Taking things slow and in small steps might be the way to build management skills without being overwhelmed.

That is a sound advice. But I did the opposite. I lost my job because of psychyatry based stuff (thnx much) and the only available and viable option was a salesaman on a gas station. Lots of people. And I was the kind of twichy guy sweating bullets whem passing through the streets. Really.
But I dared myself. Fuck it. And it worked. Social anxiety is much less promninet.
Unfortunately, that didn't make me less isolated. As soon as I'm closing in on my house my heart cramps up. Nothing to do. Nothing to care about.
And it's been like that for such a long time that I fear my habits got set forever. I forgot how to live with someone close to me. There's no way I can change that anymore. My habits are not compatible with cohabitation.

 

[meetapple]

Perhaps you could make it a habit to go for a walk at the same time every day. You could gradually increase the length of time and then move on to more difficult situations like going to grocery stores or something like that.

 

[ishouldntusemyname]

I'm in the same shoes basically, agoraphobia and social anxiety make me unable to go outside at all, i have to ask others to help me just buy my tobacco...
I was prescribed some type of SSRIs, they didn't do anything (actually, i think they made it worse).
But. I believe if you can find a good doctor they might be able to help you. At least that's what i'm hoping for, myself. If you can't help yourself, don't give up, it doesn't mean there's no way to get out of it. Help from a professional or just medication could make a big difference. And i'm saying this as a person who's recently lost all hope.
If you feel up for it, i recommend what others said to just try to go out on small walks at first; didn't work for me but i'm not you, so surely it's worth a try!

 

[everydayiloveyou]

• Controlled exposure as Sisyphus has already suggested. There's a lot of social anxiety charts online where you can make anxiety ladders. Pick something small to do, do some CBT surrounding the task (list out your initial thoughts, identify the distortion, dispute the thoughts) and then attempt it. Repeat the CBT, and repeat the task until you feel you are ready to try the next one. Usually that "ready" point is when you do the ladder again and the anxiety you rate is lower than the first time. Because remember!: everyone feels anxiety at times so it's normal to not feel completely comfortable with things that seem "basic" right away. Eventually it lessens enough that you're not impairing your life over it. You might have to work through the same tasks over and over, or pick up an old one again even though you've gotten really far up the ladder.
• Find out what's popular with people your age. Stop watching anime for a bit, play the popular games, watch the hip movies, shows, etc... This will help you talk to others and understand their humor. If you're in your early 20s or younger it will help to download TikTok and Instagram and follow a bunch of meme accounts. If you're in your late 20s or older, try looking at career YouTubers, sports, finance podcasts, and home improvememt shows. If you're at the age where most people have older children (mid 40s) then I'm not too sure what works lol but in my experience usually those people like to talk about work and their kids. It will take more social skills though, I feel like people in that age group can be really reserved and standoffish, especially if they're not in a social job. It's not a reflection of you, just demonstrates that many older adults tend to lose friends as they age due to all the time their kids take, and it's usually a consistent point in someone's life (no freedom to take risks, same job, no excessive travelling, no new school or new hobbies)
• See a psychologist or psychiatrist. Remember you should like and trust your therapist, or else it will do more harm than good. Avoid anyone who lacks boundaries (lets you text them constantly, asks to accompany you places, insults or demeans you, talks excessively about their personal life or why they were late or whatever) or uses pseudoscience techniques like hyponosis, regression, or crystals.
• Do something social regularly and in-person. This could be entering a store once a week and asking the cashier for help. Or getting a job. Or going back to school and attending two classes per week. Or even just taking a long walk outside and not saying anything to anybody. The point is to stimulate your brain and get you practicing. Try not to use your phone while doing these things, since it's very easy to build a toxic dependence to technology and it can further increase your anxiety and stress. Don't even listen to music if possible, be mindful. Take your time if you have to since this can be very hard at the beginning, but be sure to stick to it.

 

[Mr2005]

This terrifies me

 

[Deleted member 32964]

I have been isolated and out of society for 8 years. My anxiety is sky high even in my own time. I have panic attacks and constant rumination and obsession. I'm a constant wreck. Last job I had in 2017 I had a major panic attack out of no where after 3 weeks on the job. I almost worry about going psychotic at this point. All I've done for the last 8 years is watch anime and use the internet. I don't even have a sense of self anymore.

Any advice?

nature. hiking, trails, views, birdwatching. it always sets me back into "right to survive" mode. Nothing else works. Exercise - rigorous exercise. Feeling blood move in my body. :)

 

[*Justanotherone*]

As a person with agoraphobia, panick attacks and rumination, I feel a lot emphaty to you. What helps me is goin out with somebody at the beginning, then you can try go alone. But no pressure. Try when feel ready enough. After repeating it, anxiety level should goes low. It's also good idea to practice with therapist and meybe with pharmacological support. Sometimes it makes huge difference.