Discussion How to overcome the fear of missing out?

[Nien]

Until recently, I thought I was adamant and firm on ending my life. It seemed like a foregone conclusion. However, after some awful realizations and rumination, I have begun to doubt.

I think of everything that I will miss out on in this life if I end it. I will never have a wife nor experience that romantic love. I will never have my own child. I will never achieve anything or make a mark on this world. My name will be forgotten. I will never again experience fellowship with friends. I will never again experience the joy of playing my favorite video games or playing the many I still have yet to do. I will never see the progress and innovation the future holds. And much, much more.

After realizing this, though, I also realized that I would no longer experience all the bad the world holds, which probably outweighs the good. No more pain. I won't have to see any of my family die. I won't have to undergo anymore disappointment. I will no longer have to live with my past failings that I can't reverse. And much more.

However, despite this, I still can't shake the feeling that I will be missing out on so much if I CTB. Now, I feel trapped and lost. On the one hand, if I CTB, I'll miss out on so much. On the other hand, if I don't, I must put up with this grueling existence, complete with all the good, but also all the bad. How can I overcome this feeling of missing out and push to the end?

 

[millefeui]

If there is nothing after death, you will not know you are missing out on things, because you won't exist. If there is heaven, reincarnation or what have you, you will be busy doing whatever you do in heaven, or you will be busy being a baby again.

Point is: It is unlikely that you will find yourself in a place where you will have the opportunity to think about what you are missing out.

Another thing to take in consideration is that everyone misses out on a lot of things. Even if you experience 1000 things, you will still have missed out on another 10000000000 things. Because life is, in a way, really short and when you consider all the time wasted working, there is not a lot left to actually do things.

But maybe I am underestimating the weight of your worries, since it is easy for me. There is nothing in this world I want to experience. What I want is somewhere else.

 

[Severen]

Until recently, I thought I was adamant and firm on ending my life. It seemed like a foregone conclusion. However, after some awful realizations and rumination, I have begun to doubt.

I think of everything that I will miss out on in this life if I end it. I will never have a wife nor experience that romantic love. I will never have my own child. I will never achieve anything or make a mark on this world. My name will be forgotten. I will never again experience fellowship with friends. I will never again experience the joy of playing my favorite video games or playing the many I still have yet to do. I will never see the progress and innovation the future holds. And much, much more.

After realizing this, though, I also realized that I would no longer experience all the bad the world holds, which probably outweighs the good. No more pain. I won't have to see any of my family die. I won't have to undergo anymore disappointment. I will no longer have to live with my past failings that I can't reverse. And much more.

However, despite this, I still can't shake the feeling that I will be missing out on so much if I CTB. Now, I feel trapped and lost. On the one hand, if I CTB, I'll miss out on so much. On the other hand, if I don't, I must put up with this grueling existence, complete with all the good, but also all the bad. How can I overcome this feeling of missing out and push to the end?

Well just do a cost benefit analysis. If the good things to look forward to in your life are more than the bad things to look forward to in your life, then you should keep on living life until you reach a point where living life is not worth it anymore.

 

[Michel Angelo]

Until you can see past the pleasure/pain paradigm itself, I'd say you aren't ready, or if you have doubts. Go and speak to a therapist, you might be a good candidate to get brainwashed back into a functional person, and society may reap some more productivity out of you.

 

[Nien]

If there is nothing after death, you will not know you are missing out on things, because you won't exist. If there is heaven, reincarnation or what have you, you will be busy doing whatever you do in heaven, or you will be busy being a baby again.

Point is: It is unlikely that you will find yourself in a place where you will have the opportunity to think about what you are missing out.

Another thing to take in consideration is that everyone misses out on a lot of things. Even if you experience 1000 things, you will still have missed out on another 10000000000 things. Because life is, in a way, really short and when you consider all the time wasted working, there is not a lot left to actually do things.

But maybe I am underestimating the weight of your worries, since it is easy for me. There is nothing in this world I want to experience. What I want is somewhere else.

Ah, I see. That's a better way of looking at things. I'm already missing out, as is every other person on this world, so there's no point in worrying about it. Thank you for your response.

Well just do a cost benefit analysis. If the good things to look forward to in your life are more than the bad things to look forward to in your life, then you should keep on living life until you reach a point where living life is not worth it anymore.

The problem is that it is hard to gauge what my life will look like and what it will hold in the future. I suppose that's one of the gambles associated with CTBing. However, you do bring up an interesting alternative with living until there is definitely no point in living anymore. Thank you for your response.

Until you can see past the pleasure/pain paradigm itself, I'd say you aren't ready, or if you have doubts. Go and speak to a therapist, you might be a good candidate to get brainwashed back into a functional person, and society may reap some more productivity out of you.

For me, a therapist just isn't feasible right now. I'm still continuing with my plan, but I just have these thoughts in the back of mind that are continually bothering me. I'll probably be able to get over them though when the time comes. What you say, though, is always a possibility. Thank you for your response.

 

[Aponia & Ataraxia]

This is what is known as frustrated preferences. It's not in the remembering, but in the forgetting which minimizes both: frustrated preferences, and, the need for satisfied preferences.

If young now, one can choose to have a lived experience of dying a peaceful & pleasant death at a young age; once old, one cannot choose to have had a lived experience of dying a peaceful & pleasant death at a young age.

most humans want more chronological time (duration); no one wants more biological aging (abrasion)

In this view: nothing is worth the price of biological aging.

"Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance." -Jean-Paul Sartre

Every existing thing is born without reason, p̶r̶o̶l̶o̶n̶g̶s̶ ̶i̶t̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶w̶e̶a̶k̶n̶e̶s̶s̶, and dies b̶y̶ ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶c̶e̶.

"happily dreaming childhood, exultant youth, toil-filled years of manhood, infirm and often wretched old age, the torment of the last illness and finally the throes of death." -Arthur Schopenhauer

happily dreaming childhood, exultant youth, ̶t̶o̶i̶l̶-̶f̶i̶l̶l̶e̶d̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶r̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶m̶a̶n̶h̶o̶o̶d̶,̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶i̶r̶m̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶t̶e̶n̶ ̶w̶r̶e̶t̶c̶h̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶l̶d̶ ̶a̶g̶e̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶r̶m̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶l̶l̶n̶e̶s̶s̶, and f̶i̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶r̶o̶e̶s̶ ̶o̶f̶ death.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antifrustrationism

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Specious_present

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mortality_salience

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_line#World_lines_in_literature

 

[Fylobatica]

Life is incomplete by definition, no matter how much we experience day by day (this used to be and still a little bit is the main source of my frustration). However, the universe itself will meet its doom someday, so I'd say that all worries are quite trivial

 

[deflagrat]

Videogames getting better and better and future techonology is what keeps me going, I hope someone makes very acurate predictions soon, because I won't see all of it.

 

[IQof87SadButTrue]

Understand opportunity costs will help you through fear of missing out

 

[EternalSanction]

If you die, you're missing out on the future, that's a fact. You will not overcome the fear of missing out until you're ultimately desperate to die, that's a fact as well (I assume).

 

[millefeui]

If you die, you're missing out on the future, that's a fact. You will not overcome the fear of missing out until you're ultimately desperate to die, that's a fact as well (I assume).

Wrong. They can't miss out on a future that doesn't exist. The moment they die, their future die with them.

 

[Blue Moon]

Besides cowardice, the fear of missing out is the biggest thing stopping me from ending it. But unlike others in this thread, I'm not worried about missing out on my own life events. I've all but given up on that. I'm very passionate about science and particularly astronomy. I'm sad that I would miss out on things like discovering alien life, manned Mars landings, exoplanet research, the nature of the universe, things like that.

 

[Sweet emotion]

No one knows what the future holds. But if you're going to be terrified of it you're not living now anyways.

 

[Malletboy]

This is exactly how I'm feeling right now. Spending time with my friends and talking about the future with them as if I won't be CTB soon. They made me think of all these wonderful plans we have to hold in the future. But it's all so wonderful to look at from afar- then I realize the treacherous path I have to take to make it there and I start to question whether it's still worth living to get to it.

It's an overwhelming feeling and you're totally valid for experiencing it. For me, I simply am weighing how much more I'm willing to endure to have more experiences with these people. Seeing as I am pretty close to my breaking point, I don't have very much left in me to continue on.