Help How to not feel guilty about making new friends?

[TinyGuy]

I feel bad and guilty because I know that if I CTB they will probably feel bad about me or blame themselves they will probably say that they could've saved me somehow when I know there was nothing they could've done.

What makes it worse is that I even got a girlfriend and I know that will hurt her so so much because she loves me and she might even CTB because of me. it somehow makes me hope that I lose my friends and ppl start hating me even my family so that I can CTB knowing that nobody will be hurt from the aftermath atleast nobody that liked me.

The worst part is that I know I don't wanna do it now but somewhere in the future I will CTB could be days,months or years I dont really know when my brain will make me give up completely on this world so I don't know when to stop making new friends.

 

[joey2424]

You may feel now that you will definitely ctb at some point - but that's not necessarily true. It sounds like you have people who care for you which is lovely. I think you should live your life without a timeline of when you need to start isolating yourself. Maybe your feelings of ctb will change and you'll be glad you didn't stop making friends.