Help How to not feel bad about my scars?

[Anonymoususer1234]

Summer is coming up where I live. I have scars all over my body. On my calves, thighs and arms. All the result of me slicing myself open.

I feel really insecure about them even though I know realistically people aren't going to care all that much. Even when I'm alone looking at them makes me feel... weird. Like I've ruined my body.

I don't mind people seeing the ones on my calves because they're not super visible, and it's not super obvious that they're from self harm.

But I go to great lengths to hide the ones on my arms and thighs, I wear long sleeves/longer shorts even in 27°C weather. It's hot and inconvenient and I'm sick of feeling bad about something I can't really change.

How do I stop feeling bad about having scars?

 

[TydalWave]

The only cure for self-harm, is self-love. You have to learn to accept and love yourself despite everything you've been through.

Each of those scars came with a ton of emotion. They are a symbol that you have been through pain and suffering and made it through. We hide these things because it's human nature to act like we are happy and flawless all the time, but everyone has scars whether they are visible or not.

Alternatively, since this advice is damn near impossible imo, you could always consider tattoos. They are a good way of reclaiming the space and transforming your scars into something you are proud to show off.

 

[archiemex]

i would try some sort of topical ointment for scars or dark spots, it made mine less visible :-))

 

[Doombox]

I ignore my scars. But honestly I don't know how to transfer that to you. I was given one piece of advice once that helped me, though. I once had to wear an awful medical device in public and I was worried sick. The advice I got was that someone noticing me would probably think a thought and then go about their day and would have forgotten about me in ten minutes. I have found it helpful to remember than any time I feel conspicuous.

 

[Uk2023]

Summer is coming up where I live. I have scars all over my body. On my calves, thighs and arms. All the result of me slicing myself open.

I feel really insecure about them even though I know realistically people aren't going to care all that much. Even when I'm alone looking at them makes me feel... weird. Like I've ruined my body.

I don't mind people seeing the ones on my calves because they're not super visible, and it's not super obvious that they're from self harm.

But I go to great lengths to hide the ones on my arms and thighs, I wear long sleeves/longer shorts even in 27°C weather. It's hot and inconvenient and I'm sick of feeling bad about something I can't really change.

How do I stop feeling bad about having scars?

My opinion and I'm just contributing:

- Scars are a natural response/consequence - so there's nothing to actually feel bad about (there's logically no other outcome)

- when your alone that weird feeling is you mentally adjusting to the facts, you got scars but you got a life yo live.

- I think it's a straight 'that's the way it is' mentality needed.

- you're feeling bad about the times you were feeling bad (and you said your sick of it! - good!)

- You just want to enjoy summertime, so let that lead! Your better now… Plan some outfits for the days when enjoying summer is more important than hiding scars. I hope you get in the water/pool/sea as well it's new to you but you just have to do it some days.

Best wishes x

 

[voc_89]

I carved (sorry for the language) "Fuck Up" on one of my legs. I was 28 at the time so my body stopped healing cuts like it used to. So u could still see the words after it fully healed. I used this ointment (follow the link below) and it worked wonders for me.

edit: I guess you can't add links. Um its on amazon. Mederma Advanced Scar Gel. I needed about 3 or 4 of 0.7 ounce tubes to fully erase it. Please also note that your skin will peel and feel a little sensitive to the touch after about 3 weeks of use (its not an overnight solution).

 

[Kasumi]

There is no reason to be worried about your scars, people don't really care.
Or would you go up to a stranger asking "hey, where did u get ur scars from?"

 

[Livingvsdying25]

My way is anger tbh? Anger is one of the biggest shifts in shame and such.

I found the best way to not be ashamed of scars is to be angry at anyone that makes me feel ashamed.

Last summer my scars were more visable and I got a lot of weird looks but I just instead got angry at the stares and ranted to my friend.

Not allowing the shame to swallow me and being like creative with ways to deal (I've made jokes about creating t-shirts that say "don't look at me" or " I got scars,so what?" Kinda thing?

I def think ima still create those tshirts(I have some other humorous things I wanna write so)

Sometimes it still gets to me but yeee

 

[bugoutbag]

I became able to show my scars because I was essentially forced to over one particular summer where I couldn't feasibly stay covered

Basically just make yourself do it, and over time it gets easier.

Start by just going for a walk or bike ride. Early in the morning or late at night. Then at a busier times and places, but still around people you don't have to interact with. Go to a park, a grocery story, ride a bus. Just keep forcing yourself to go out with your cuts/scars visible and eventually it won't seem so bad.

I am still self-conscious around people that I know on an ongoing basis—I wonder what they think, but I don't ask and they don't bring it up—rarely do I think about how strangers see me.

 

[HonestAbe]

My ex girlfriend wore pants and long sleeves year round because of all the scars and not wanting any attention. It could be 100 and humid and those pants and sleeves. She hated all the dumb comments and I often tried to get those people out of there.

Her thighs were brutal as were her shoulders. She eventually just accepted that it's a part of her despite at times falling apart as she was still cutting. It always broke my heart and still does when I think of her.

You're still likely going to naturally feel ashamed or embarrassed but it's a part of you, and it's an acknowledgement of what happened to you. Battle scars with the mind if you will placed on the flesh.

I always admired my ex and she could never understand why. She was tough and genuine. Think of it as battle scars. That may sound really lame and I apologize if so, but its what we go through with all of this stuff. I still have stab wounds and cord marks when I fell apart throughout the years.

Sometimes it just is what it is regardless of how dark and messed up it may seem, but at least it's honest. A reminder but also an acknowledgement.