JJ-NOHOPE

JJ-NOHOPE

Tantalus - all desire, no hope
Nov 26, 2018
119
I'm at the hairdressers right now struggling to keep it together.
I think if it weren't for drugs I'd be crying nonstop.
How and maybe more importantly why do we all try so hard to pretend everything is okay all the time when it so clearly is NOT okay...ever.

Such unmitigated torture life is!
 
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Alchemist

Alchemist

Warlock
Apr 3, 2019
709
Easy, after crying so much I ended up becoming so numb that I it only happens on certain situations.
And pretending is necessary to not get "help" from good samaritans.
 
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Alec

Alec

Wizard
Apr 22, 2019
681
I love crying, it makes me feel better to let it all out and I feel better in the end. And it's funny how different our situations are, because I want to cry so bad right now but can't. I had to stop crying because I'm not living alone anymore and I don't want to raise red flags, and I stopped for so long that now I'm scared to start. I'm scared because crying means letting all the pain in and I'm not sure how to if I can handle that and I don't think I'll ever stop if I start. I'm sorry it's so heavy for you. I wish I could tell you comforting words but there are no words to make this better. I just really hope you find what you are looking for soon, I love you.
 
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Halo13

Halo13

Wizard
May 9, 2019
671
I've cried maybe once in the last year. I became so numb to everything a long time ago plus it just wouldn't help to cry in public. On the occasions it has happened, I swallow it and remind myself there's security in choosing to ctb plus I can always cry at home alone later. It's also pretty embarrassing to cry in public so that typically stops me. This forum wouldn't exist if all the people who pretend to put on a happy face were truly content with life. Sorry you're having a rough day :hug:
 
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JadedGray

JadedGray

Life Eternal
Jul 24, 2018
991
I've never been able to cry in public. I'm too self-conscious to do anything that will get other people's attention.

In private, I've cried so much in my life, that now I barely can anymore. When I do now, for some reason I get an euphoric feeling from it. I used to get migraines because I would cry for hours. Nowadays, crying makes me drowsy and puts me to sleep. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.
 
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JoeFailure

Mage
Apr 29, 2019
574
I almost wish I could still cry. I'm too dead inside on most days to do it.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
I wish I could find the answer to this, sometimes I am robotic but lately it's sobbing every single day. My eyes constantly have residual swelling, the constant crying actually becomes a pain in the ass. I know I probably need medication to even try to stop but I don't want to re-open that can of worms again right now. Even going to any doctors ends in a tear fest. Can't advocate for myself or make any sense. It's already hard enough with how doctors talk to people and cut them off. And my confidence is non existent because of how I look. So the least I can ask for is not to be crying every damn time.
 
lynn14

lynn14

Member
Apr 21, 2019
72
Yes I cry quite a bit, I feel the waves of depression start to hit and there is no getting around it. I find that once I start thinking about one thing, I start thinking about everything, and there I go. I don;t find that crying really resolves the underlying feelings, it is just a pressure release valve and inevitable. All I really have to look forward to is more crying, in life, I feel.
 
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