How to make friends?

[aGoodDayToDie]

For the past 6 months I've been trying really hard to make friends. I've been trying here, on Reddit, Facebook, WhatsApp groups, Meetup.com, writing posts, going out on club nights, but it's really hard. The furthest I've got is a couple of back and forths with a person. It really doesn't help that I'm a 41 year old male. Firstly people seem to be suspicious of males, especially middle aged, and most people my age have friends already, have a partner, kids, a job, and a life.

How can I make friends??

 

[h4yate]

do you have any specific interests? dnd, video games, etc? going out and just surfing thru random people makes it harder to find those you click with. if you actively try to find others who share same interests, you have a better chance in starting a friendship there.

remember - things will most likely be awkward and dry at first. but dont give up yet, friendships always start somewhere. you got this bro, i believe in you.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

do you have any specific interests? dnd, video games, etc? going out and just surfing thru random people makes it harder to find those you click with. if you actively try to find others who share same interests, you have a better chance in starting a friendship there.

remember - things will most likely be awkward and dry at first. but dont give up yet, friendships always start somewhere. you got this bro, i believe in you.

Thanks, yeah I have a few interests, Hard dance music and clubbing, programming, ai, skiing, star trek. I've tried exploring them but people never talk for long :((

 

[MrShino]

Not sure if it is for you, but from my own experience I can absolutely recommend to go to some fellowship in churches if you have any nearby. Charismatic/Pentecostal churches often have very good social settings. Maybe it's not for you, I don't know, just share my own experience. I usually find people to connect with no matter where I am in the world here. You don't have to be a believer, people will most likely accept you as you are anyway. There are often social groups to be part of also, that meet up regularly and do stuff.

 

[stillunemployed]

yeah, im sort of in a similar situation. im more introverted so socializing can very tiring. I try not subscribe to my own interests too much, i try to do new things, something ive never done before.
still im getting older and forming connections is getting harder. people just automatically assume i have an ulterior motive

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

yeah, im sort of in a similar situation. im more introverted so socializing can very tiring. I try not subscribe to my own interests too much, i try to do new things, something ive never done before.
still im getting older and forming connections is getting harder. people just automatically assume i have an ulterior motive

Yeah it sucks doesn't it!!

 

[stillunemployed]

Yeah it sucks doesn't it!!

the problem is i have met dudes who actually DID have bad intentions when I was growing up. Definitely badly affected me

 

[lokiis8]

Thanks, yeah I have a few interests, Hard dance music and clubbing, programming, ai, skiing, star trek. I've tried exploring them but people never talk for long :((

If you're interested in clubbing, you need a group of people to go with, even before going to clubs. If you're young and can afford it, go to college, you will surely find people to go to clubs with.

More general advice is going to college if you're young, get friends there. How? Talk with people, I know it sounds cliché. Ask for a ciggie and make a convo by including them into your headspace. The most important thing is that, getting people in the conversation you have with yourself in your head. Rather than thinking, you say it in a way that seems directed to them but also not "too" directed at them, if you get what I mean. Be prepared because some people won't be interested enough to talk. You usually understand it in few secs if they're interested or not. It will take time but it's just about practice.

 

[Elle]

You may find others who have the same interests as you :)