How to live when others suffer

[deathwish]

Real question. The world sucks, right. I try to do my part, always. But the demands get greater and I feel I can't keep up and will become complicit in atrocities which is.... well, no way to live. Specifically, I'm American and we're building concentration camps for another and probably largest forced migration in our history. I've gone to protests, yelled suggestions at ICE through megaphones, and now the move is.... scout the camp sites, build bombs? Vera Figner said organization is the only condition that makes victory against a government possible but even my allies I kind of detest. Allies who want to answer murder with murder which I don't agree with. Well, maybe rather than a compatibility issue, it's my being a relative do-nothing that's the problem. I believe diplomacy must be the answer but I won't go to college for any degree or form any group to conduct said diplomacy. Just pathetic little things are all I can manage and it isn't enough.

When the worst things in history happened and people let it happen, don't we now take issue with that? Don't we take those as lessons, promise ourselves that we will do better?

Yet I also am not a believer in the good or worthiness of victims to be saved. Victims can easily become perpetrators and history will attest to it. But to live based on this, that people aren't worth fighting for, is giving up on humanity. To live, I think we must live progressing towards ideals. So even if people suck now, if we live better, they will suck less, would be the idea. which is monumentally exhausting, day to day. serving people in bars, wondering if they're pro murder, pro kidnapping, and if my smiling at them will make them better people somehow or just give them the energy to do more horrendous things.

how can i do it, how can i live like this. suggestions, please