Help How to know if one is too broken/harmful to be fixed?

[TrulyNeverCertain]

Basically the title.
I know I'm a very broken individual, and I know I cause great deals of hurt to all those I care about.
How do I know if I'm beyond help and/or beyond saving, in any way?

If you have thoughts, I welcome them, no matter what those thoughts may be.

 

[aufrechtm7]

This is going to sound enabling, but it really isn't. The truth could be that those people are simply not worth having in your life, or they're not compatible with you. And your main point operates on an assumption with many hows or whys that could be added but I don't want to pry.

Unless they're intentionally and repeatedly causing others extreme harm, I don't think anyone is necessarily "beyond saving". But imo the fact you're asking at all shows that you have the ability to self reflect on these things that "hurt" others. I think this would be something best determined by reasoning with yourself if you understand what I mean, if you are capable of doing so ofc.

 

[Todesengel]

I agree. No one is beyond saving. Feeling guilt for hurting the people you care about is a shared feeling for most of us, at least in my experience.

I also felt like I was beyond saving until someone who was able to look past my mental illnesses and see me for my real self showed up in my life. I felt understood and that led me to stop thinking I was a burden for everyone. Maybe that's a good first step. If you can't look past "hurting everyone around you", it's really hard for yourself to properly judge if you can be fixed.

 

[TrulyNeverCertain]

Thank you both for your input! I have more to think about, more that I can try to use to reason my way out of my decision.

This is going to sound enabling, but it really isn't. The truth could be that those people are simply not worth having in your life, or they're not compatible with you. And your main point operates on an assumption with many hows or whys that could be added but I don't want to pry.

Unless they're intentionally and repeatedly causing others extreme harm, I don't think anyone is necessarily "beyond saving". But imo the fact you're asking at all shows that you have the ability to self reflect on these things that "hurt" others. I think this would be something best determined by reasoning with yourself if you understand what I mean, if you are capable of doing so ofc.

There have been too many cycles & instances for it to be a problem with other people, and several people (understandably) going no-contact over time is a pretty big indicator. If different, I could probably say the same about my situation.
It's never been intentional (rather despite intentions), but that doesn't lessen the effect of 'death by a thousand cuts', so to speak. I can reflect on things that hurt people and/or work to understand why it hurt someone, but I don't always catch things, and people (understandably) don't want to talk to me about things I've done.
You're welcome to pry, only if you care and want to.

I agree. No one is beyond saving. Feeling guilt for hurting the people you care about is a shared feeling for most of us, at least in my experience.

I also felt like I was beyond saving until someone who was able to look past my mental illnesses and see me for my real self showed up in my life. I felt understood and that led me to stop thinking I was a burden for everyone. Maybe that's a good first step. If you can't look past "hurting everyone around you", it's really hard for yourself to properly judge if you can be fixed.

I'm not sure how to respond just yet, but this has given me a lot to think about.
I'll try to come back with a response, it might take some time.