Discussion How to help people cope when I CTB

[411esme]

Hello. Very new, have read all the rules, but regardless if I make a mistake please correct me gently.

I myself have dealt with the sudden death (debatably either a suicide or accident, but I digress) of a loved one. One of the things that has kept me from healing is the lack of closure. No goodbye, no explanation, no note. It's hell. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone.

My question is this — what are some nice, but not too obvious ways to give your family closure? Aside from a note, of course. I've considered possibly planning a nice trip for them and myself, or sending friends personal gifts, but I don't want to raise alarm.

 

[Arrow]

i just think a note is the way to go to be honest.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Nice and honest note will probably be enough. They will be sad as you leave, theyll feel grief. But as time passes theyll start to understand. There is no way to make death nice and painless, unfortunately, i tried. Good luck

 

[Ardesevent]

Going on a trip with your family isn't a great idea, the fact that you died afterwards will probably ruin the memories for them. A nice note is really the only thing you can do.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

A note is good enough. If you know being honest will hurt the people you care about, it's your choice whether it's better or not to say certain things. The reason I'm writing a note is to make my passing as easy as I can for my family, is that the same for you? If so, be empathetic in your letter. Don't blame yourself in it. Say that this is entirely your decision and that family isn't responsible. If it makes your family or friends feel better, say you didn't die feeling unloved or unwanted. Is it lying? Yes, you'll be lying if you don't really resonate with what you're writing. But so what? This letter is so your family handles your passing better. If that's not what you want, be completely honest and cuss them out if it helps.

Remember that if anyone cares, they'll be guilty, depressed, and mourning no matter what. A note won't stop tears from shedding or a family member killing themselves to be with you. Try not be wracked with guilt yourself, be honest with yourself. That's the most important part! Good luck and I wish you the best!

 

[pian]

Maybe a will if you have anything valuable, or some parting gifts. However, the gifts might be a little too obvious. Maybe some genuine compliments and some kind words. I'd make sure my last words to them were memorable and heartwarming.

But for me, honestly, I don't see it as my responsibility to "soften the blow" for them. Plus, it'd be pretty embarrassing if they found a note I wrote and then ended up not succeeding.