Help How to get over numbness so I can CTB

[Astume]

I've been delaying my suicide for over a year now (I keep backing out and procrastinating), but now I only have until the weekends, because I'm required to attend a major social event, among other things. I can't. Social anxiety sucks: I'm legally an adult, yet I can't go out by myself and function "normally"; I've missed so many opportunities in life, which makes me feel even more worthless. I've gotten emotionally detached and numb to that feeling at this point, though, so I'm not as impulsive as I had been used to, which is my main problem.

Any advice on how to clear my head and get over this numbness, so I can CTB asap? Do I have to trick my mind into thinking that hanging myself is my duty or punishment for wasting my life?

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like only you know when it is the right time to leave and you cannot really force yourself to feel that way. I think that many people manage to ctb when they get desperate to escape their lives and the pain of living gets to be unbearable. It really is so difficult to leave this world and I think that if it was easier to leave I would be already be gone.

I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I can imagine that it must be awful having all this anxiety and I know that it is dreadful wanting to leave this world, yet feeling like you are unable to. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.