Alexei_Kirillov
Alea iacta est. The die is cast.
- Mar 9, 2024
- 1,097
Just sharing this article I stumbled upon yesterday with some tips on how to enjoy things more (targeted at everyone, not specifically people who are struggling, so it's none of that self-help BS): https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/how-to-like-everything-more. Seeing enjoyment as a skill that can be cultivated seems like a helpful frame of reference imo, even if you're not actively looking to recover (which I'm personally not). A couple interesting tidbits from the article:
Look at the other part
Move your attention beyond the part that you immediately focused on. This is especially easy and helpful with music—Visions of Johanna and You Oughta Know both feature spectacular bass parts that you might under-notice if you're focusing on the attention-grabbing lead vocal. But it also works with people you're talking to (what is fetching about their outfit or pronunciation), a de Chirico painting (what's the deal with the cube), watching theatre (what do the actors who are listening look like when they're listening), and basically anything else. Works miracles for gustatory and olfactory experiences—a good broth or perfume will have layers beyond the one that is loudest, teasing them apart is gratifying.
Develop a crush on the creator
Allow yourself to be transiently infatuated with the person who produced the work. Adore the steady hands of the sushi chef, the piercing gaze of the portraitist, the erudition of the author. How is it possible that the universe contains such people? You know this is really working when you feel pride for the success of the creator, like they're a friend and you earnestly want to send them an email thanking them for what they've done. (Note that you can also do this, almost nobody receives too much thoughtful fan mail.)
A good portal into this practice is to viscerally imagine what it took to make the work happen. Feel the determination of the vocalist pouring their heart into the perfect take, imagine the hours the writer spent at the desk—mentally step into their shoes, even if you can only blurrily, notionally do that.
Notice how your body enjoys it
The commonly deployed phrase "toe-curling" indicates that a lot of us intuitively understand this one, but the faculty can be honed, simply by noticing. A good horror movie will have digestive effects: can you watch the movie with your stomach in mind, or appreciate the sweatiness of your palms? I get a cool tingle of intrigue in my midsection when I look at The Red Boy, how about you? When you're hungry and you take a bite of food, can you notice all the parts of you that are relaxing — in your neck, or your lower body? Often, noticing that a person is making you feel warmhearted will increase the power of this warmhearted feeling, and, due to regular human telepathy, this will naturally make the interaction feel more sincere for the other person, too.
Get lost in a tiny detail
I could probably literally scream about the moment in Ulysses when Joyce describes a bird of paradise as a "little mite of a thing with a heart the size of a fullstop." I find it so clever and so wrenching at the same time, how he allows you to understand the fragility of this miniscule exotic being using the most common punctuation mark as assistance. Moreover, it's amazingly clever that in one of the most verbose novels in human history, Joyce figures out how to describe something by making one of the ink marks on the page into a diagram, rather than reaching for another adjective. I've been excited about that passage for about sixteen years. And I try to make a habit of developing similar micro-obsessions: when I love a piece of work, I drill into it and find a few small details to worship. I find it multiplies my feeling about the larger piece.
Find another register of enjoyment
Life is so dull if it's just "like" or "dislike." Maybe the movie is riveting but you still hate it. Can you find "begrudging enjoyment?" You simply do not understand the outfit of that kid on the subway. Can you locate "would be compelling to someone who is not me"? How do you feel about the song that represents you so well it's almost personally violating? Can you be grateful for the person who reminds you of all the annoying tendencies you try to repress in yourself? These are all genuine forms of enjoyment to be cultivated and savored alongside the cleaner kinds.
Look at the other part
Move your attention beyond the part that you immediately focused on. This is especially easy and helpful with music—Visions of Johanna and You Oughta Know both feature spectacular bass parts that you might under-notice if you're focusing on the attention-grabbing lead vocal. But it also works with people you're talking to (what is fetching about their outfit or pronunciation), a de Chirico painting (what's the deal with the cube), watching theatre (what do the actors who are listening look like when they're listening), and basically anything else. Works miracles for gustatory and olfactory experiences—a good broth or perfume will have layers beyond the one that is loudest, teasing them apart is gratifying.
Develop a crush on the creator
Allow yourself to be transiently infatuated with the person who produced the work. Adore the steady hands of the sushi chef, the piercing gaze of the portraitist, the erudition of the author. How is it possible that the universe contains such people? You know this is really working when you feel pride for the success of the creator, like they're a friend and you earnestly want to send them an email thanking them for what they've done. (Note that you can also do this, almost nobody receives too much thoughtful fan mail.)
A good portal into this practice is to viscerally imagine what it took to make the work happen. Feel the determination of the vocalist pouring their heart into the perfect take, imagine the hours the writer spent at the desk—mentally step into their shoes, even if you can only blurrily, notionally do that.
Notice how your body enjoys it
The commonly deployed phrase "toe-curling" indicates that a lot of us intuitively understand this one, but the faculty can be honed, simply by noticing. A good horror movie will have digestive effects: can you watch the movie with your stomach in mind, or appreciate the sweatiness of your palms? I get a cool tingle of intrigue in my midsection when I look at The Red Boy, how about you? When you're hungry and you take a bite of food, can you notice all the parts of you that are relaxing — in your neck, or your lower body? Often, noticing that a person is making you feel warmhearted will increase the power of this warmhearted feeling, and, due to regular human telepathy, this will naturally make the interaction feel more sincere for the other person, too.
Get lost in a tiny detail
I could probably literally scream about the moment in Ulysses when Joyce describes a bird of paradise as a "little mite of a thing with a heart the size of a fullstop." I find it so clever and so wrenching at the same time, how he allows you to understand the fragility of this miniscule exotic being using the most common punctuation mark as assistance. Moreover, it's amazingly clever that in one of the most verbose novels in human history, Joyce figures out how to describe something by making one of the ink marks on the page into a diagram, rather than reaching for another adjective. I've been excited about that passage for about sixteen years. And I try to make a habit of developing similar micro-obsessions: when I love a piece of work, I drill into it and find a few small details to worship. I find it multiplies my feeling about the larger piece.
Find another register of enjoyment
Life is so dull if it's just "like" or "dislike." Maybe the movie is riveting but you still hate it. Can you find "begrudging enjoyment?" You simply do not understand the outfit of that kid on the subway. Can you locate "would be compelling to someone who is not me"? How do you feel about the song that represents you so well it's almost personally violating? Can you be grateful for the person who reminds you of all the annoying tendencies you try to repress in yourself? These are all genuine forms of enjoyment to be cultivated and savored alongside the cleaner kinds.
