@anon_2020e, I'm sorry you're on a ward. There's really nothing you can do to kill yourself there; you're being monitored very closely. Please try to stay calm and get as much rest as you can. Once you get out you can think about how you want to proceed, and the fastest way out is to present the behaviour and attitudes they want to see.
If you want to talk about what happened, people here are goid listeners.