How to emphasise that it isn't other people's fault?

[Walilamdzi]

I don't want others to feel guilty, my sorrow and exhaustion are totally insurmountable and I want them to know they did everything that they could.

 

[PrettyMoose]

You could leave a note saying exactly that.

 

[BeeLoyal]

You could leave a note saying exactly that.

Do you think thats enough for them to understand? I mean they would probably still feel guilty. I don't know if there's any way to make them not feel guilty.

 

[autumnal]

You could leave a note saying exactly that.

Exactly. What I would also suggest is (where appropriate) adding that nobody could have possibly noticed your despair or done anything to help, because you deliberately went out of your way to keep it hidden to prevent anyone noticing.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

This is my problem as well.

I know what kind of people my family are, and if I kill myself they may blame my Dad or eachother in general. Just the thought of that happening makes me so angry, especially if I can't be there to defend him. I'm worried that this may break my family and I just need to be careful of when and where I do this (if I finally decide to kill myself once and for all).

I have also been trying to seem strong and happy when I'm with my friends because I really don't want to give them an ounce of my negativity, they deserve much better than that. So I don't want them to blame themselves for not seeing the warning signs, because I hid them on purpose.

I hope that my suicide notes will clarify this, that this is a result of my own actions and a decision I came to myself. Nobody is to blame.

 

[Kamiotesoro]

I myself was planning to leave not only a suicide note, but also a video. The video explaining everything because I think that if it's spoken verbally rather than text it's easier for people to believe in. But what do I know

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

I myself was planning to leave not only a suicide note, but also a video. The video explaining everything because I think that if it's spoken verbally rather than text it's easier for people to believe in. But what do I know

Yeah I like the idea of a video. Allows real emotion to be showed. A letter and a video would be the best way to do it imo.

 

[Deleted member 14573]

@WhatIsMyLife @Kamiotesoro

I want to add another thing. I have a friend who killed herself last year, and I would KILL to just hear her voice again.

I am thinking of leaving behind some audio recordings of me just talking about my day, my thoughts on life etc as if I was on the phone. Because I would have treasured something like that from my friend.

Of course, it's up to you.

 

[Kamiotesoro]

@WhatIsMyLife @Kamiotesoro

I want to add another thing. I have a friend who killed herself last year, and I would KILL to just hear her voice again.

I am thinking of leaving behind some audio recordings of me just talking about my day, my thoughts on life etc as if I was on the phone. Because I would have treasured something like that from my friend.

Of course, it's up to you.

I didn't even think about it but it sounds like a great idea! I do believe that the better and more in-depth you try to explain it, the better people who are affected by your decision would feel. But yes, loving and caring voice memos are sure a good thing to add

 

[SleeplessSoul]

I really like the idea of a video! Not wanting to hurt the people I love is one of the main things stopping me at the moment. I'm not sure what it would do with a few of my friends though who know I'm suicidal. I don't want them to think they could have stopped me (I guess that's already been answered though)

 

[AcornUnderground]

There is an app (at least for iPhone) called RecordMeNow. It was originally meant terminally ill people to leave messages to their children, but it's useful in a myriad of ways. The app asks questions through an interview process that you answer in video format. You can skip any of the questions. A lot of them won't relate at all. But at the end of the chapters there are a few about being unwell and dying and regrets and those sorts of things. They ask questions that you can press on the questions, and answer with videos and it saves the video to your phone that you can then save elsewhere. It might be an interesting way to prompt you to leave a video for your family.

 

[Bct]

I think some people will still blame themselves over our CTBs, but by leaving some notes or videos at least will minimize the "collateral damage".

There is an app (at least for iPhone) called RecordMeNow. It was originally meant terminally ill people to leave messages to their children, but it's useful in a myriad of ways. The app asks questions through an interview process that you answer in video format. You can skip any of the questions. A lot of them won't relate at all. But at the end of the chapters there are a few about being unwell and dying and regrets and those sorts of things. They ask questions that you can press on the questions, and answer with videos and it saves the video to your phone that you can then save elsewhere. It might be an interesting way to prompt you to leave a video for your family.

This seems a nice app. I tried the Windows version, but sadly it doesn't let you to save the recordings as files only, you have to burn them on a DVD.

 

[K-O]

Lol so had kind of nice day not long ago and had the guts to brows threw my videos of these last months and-- jeeezzz!...
found some of my i love u tnx n goodbye vidz to my loved ones as i was overdosin-- it was hilarious af! heartbreaking! terrifyingly honest to the bone! but still left me thinking- dam girl! you will never be able to lift the guilt off love ones when u go.. from my oun personal experience with old and recent loss.. we are who we are, our pain is ours and so is others guilt..
Thing is i was soo high on mainly on oxy syrup i looked and sounded appalling! and as i chronologically watched them it just got worse and worse and at the last ones i was literally a blub mumbling gibberish and not even in the fuckin frame! ffs..
It is what it is and the fact we cant really control shit is tbh so relieving for me.. the end is ours alone! no one can touch it.
freedom and peace.. loving yourself! with no one contaminating it..
Fuck i wish i could share these videos here it would be popcorn time for all of us!
ive just been isolating and making personal intimate preparations.. the love we leave behind can not be erased!
x

 

[akrasia]

You may leave notes, videos, voice memos but you can't really control someone's feelings. They would still find a way to blame themselves or others. Although leaving something behind would make is easier for them to understand.
I love the idea of leaving videos, never thought about that.

 

[Walilamdzi]

I don't really feel like I have the energy to make videos, I hope that there's something with my voice on it.

 

[jaroz]

I don't want others to feel guilty, my sorrow and exhaustion are totally insurmountable and I want them to know they did everything that they could.

Write a note. Other than that, you're not responsible for the versions of you others create