Discussion how to dinstance yourself from people who care about you

[SplitInfrastructure]

Ive been wondering lately that if Ill really want to ctb Ill have to get people away from me, but I dont know what would be a good option to not be a dick or harm them in any way, or leave without a word, is there a way of doing it without leaving on bad terms?

 

[throwaway280948]

I think instead of trying to push people away its important to be vulnerable and let those people in to help. Not very often do people find other people that truly care and want to see what is best for them. I know it is scary to be vulnerable but once you get over that it is such a relief to talk to someone about what is going on.

 

[swanegg333]

if you are thinking that you dont actually want to CTB, then its probably not for you.

but, if you are determined to, there's really no way to distance from people that truly care about you without hurting them. you could do something to ensure that they will no longer associate with you, or you could CTB in complete secrecy, unfortunately theres no way to prevent them from being hurt

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

I think instead of trying to push people away its important to be vulnerable and let those people in to help. Not very often do people find other people that truly care and want to see what is best for them. I know it is scary to be vulnerable but once you get over that it is such a relief to talk to someone about what is going on.

I dont think its something Im looking for, I dont want to be a weight or hit them with the day Ill do it. They already know about my health issues briefly, but I dont want to share my mental health, I swore myself not to do it anymore and I wish for it to remain that way, either way, whenever I try to it ends up badly and I either feel belittled or ignored. I don't want to look for understanding I just want to leave my spot in existance for someone more worthy of living than me

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like if other people care and you try to distance yourself from them, then wouldn't they just get worried. I would personally just pretend to not feel suicidal in front of them so that they don't try to interfere in any plans and if I was going to ctb write a note explaining everything, as even if other people feel sad none of us are obligated to continue existing here.

 

[laylaN]

If you care about not hurting them, I think distancing yourself is a bad idea. They might end up blaming themselves and feeling even worse after you CTB. They will be hurt no matter what, yes, but at least they can be assured that their last memories of you were happy ones. Also, those who know about your mental health issues might suspect something and end up disrupting your attempt.

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

I feel like if other people care and you try to distance yourself from them, then wouldn't they just get worried. I would personally just pretend to not feel suicidal in front of them so that they don't try to interfere in any plans and if I was going to ctb write a note explaining everything, as even if other people feel sad none of us are obligated to continue existing here.

Im on medicine, I guess it should be enough to indicate that Im fine to some extent, but it does make sense, hovewer not many people will just accept a note about not wanting to stay as a reason, its unfair that people wont understand another human being

If you care about not hurting them, I think distancing yourself is a bad idea. They might end up blaming themselves and feeling even worse after you CTB. They will be hurt no matter what, yes, but at least they can be assured that their last memories of you were happy ones. Also, those who know about your mental health issues might suspect something and end up disrupting your attempt.

I think I wouldnt do it so suddenly, thats why I think about slowly drifting away and doing it once theyre well off without me, Im sure they will find someone better and forget about me

 

[Forever Sleep]

Do they make an effort to keep in touch with you? If they do- then you can't do much other than respond I imagine without them getting worried. If they don't though- it's far easier to just let things drift. You simply don't contact them. Depends on your situation really. What's considered 'normal' for you. Pretty much all my friends are family are really distant now. I'm hoping that will make it easier for them if I do go ahead and CTB.

 

[The anhedonic one]

It all depends on how much they really care about you.
If they invalidate your feelings then I would definitely distance myself from them as best I can.

 

[hells "angel"]

I'm a born natural at it. I either just isolate & ignore/push them away, or let my anger take control and make them mad at me so they don't like me so much and it's easier for the both of us.

 

[endlessagony]

I've been lonely my whole life so I'm pretty good at getting people away from me. If you see them everyday it's pretty hard I think but if you see them sometimes or only message them it's pretty easy.

So if they invit you to go out, start by refusing like 1/4 time, then 1/3 time... till they get tired of asking you to go out. If they message you, just be cold, answer with few words. Eventualy people will get tired of trying and move on with their life.

I'm planning to CTB in 3 years and that's what I'll do. For now I got some close friends but I think I can get away pretty easily in 6 months or so. About my parents it'll be harder, I'll move out pretty far away, find some excuses to not come to birthday and shit like that and just CTB after 6-9 months.

It takes time, people will still be harmed but I think less than if you do it tomorrow without telling anybody.

 

[Nathan2]

I dont think its something Im looking for, I dont want to be a weight or hit them with the day Ill do it. They already know about my health issues briefly, but I dont want to share my mental health, I swore myself not to do it anymore and I wish for it to remain that way, either way, whenever I try to it ends up badly and I either feel belittled or ignored. I don't want to look for understanding I just want to leave my spot in existance for someone more worthy of living than me

If you dont want "to be a weigh" (wich i dont believe for 1 second) remember that you can always go to therapy. Proffesional help can really make a diffrence you will only be helping yourselfs you wont be hurting your loved ones and the therapist will be happy too help. Were all worthy of existance because existance is all there is we should make our lives as good as possible even if this requires us to take some risks.

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

If you dont want "to be a weigh" (wich i dont believe for 1 second) remember that you can always go to therapy. Proffesional help can really make a diffrence you will only be helping yourselfs you wont be hurting your loved ones and the therapist will be happy too help. Were all worthy of existance because existance is all there is we should make our lives as good as possible even if this requires us to take some risks.

I am going to therapy, I dont want people to help me, I should be able to do it myself