How to deteriorate health?

[Nola]

Idk if I'm asking stupid questions.. but I'm wondering if there's a way to deteriorate my health.

I've been taking a lot of NSAIDs hoping to slowly damage internal organs but I got this horrible ringing in my ears and nothing else really. Not even a stomachache

I've already tried to starve myself but by the time I got severe edema I started uncontrollably binging and I'm still prone to binge (5yrs later) so it was a waste of time. I can add eating disorder to my collection of disorders now though.

Between then and now I've OD'd on aspirin but I was chocking for 3 days, taken to hospital, put into coma and survived. No permanent damage, I only had a whole bunch of nasty consequences with authorities so I don't really want to do anything acute anymore. I'd rather slowly break down.

I'm already a smoker so I get pneumonia quite often. Maybe if I'm able to deteriorate my health/ do something to stimulate the pneumonia, maybe that will take me out one day?

 

[anxious_depressive]

Hi

I am not a doctor, but I would like to say that you should not deteriorate your health in this way.
It may not lead to death, but to serious illness.
And this severe condition can last for years.
In addition, you may become dependent on the help of other people.

I am writing this because I have experienced it myself.
Just saying .

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I think it will probably be a long and painful process to do this.

 

[busybee]

There are methods to death that work slowly but none of those that participated in them are around to give further details anymore. From what they did describe it sounded pretty miserable though and I certainly would not recommend anything of the sorts.
Your wish to deteriorate your heath sounds like you wanting it so not seem like ctb, is that correct?
There were such cases before but the users simply never returned one day so there is no way to know if they succeeded in ctb or in having it look like natueal death.

 

[ClownWorld2023]

I think this falls under the category of 'self-harm', albeit a different way than the usual mentioned here.

I myself don't self-harm, but my health has deteriorated over the past decade.
I can tell with confidence from personal experience that you most likely won't die.
Your health will deteriorate, but your body will do everything possible to survive, and as a result, your suffering will keep on increasing.

I myself have been suffering 24/7 for the past few years.
There's no sign of death yet (unfortunately).

 

[Nola]

Thank you all for your replies and warnings, although it's incredibly disappointing. I'd rather not make it seem like suicide because I put my family through enough and if I fail I'll definitely be locked up

For emergencies (if my desire to die outweighs my empathy and anxiety) I collected some medication.
It's 1 bottle of morphine, 15 patches of fentanyl (not sure how to use those since it's slow releasing. Eat them?). I stole 12 tablets of methadon and saved up approx 100 tablets of oxycodon, and some tramadol (I guess about 50 of them?). I'm also able to save up on Lorazepam.
I just don't know how to get enough reliable anti-emetics and last time I projectile vomited.

Would that be enough and be quick enough? If I get caught and brought to hospital, would there be a chance I'll survive?

 

[dizzdesi]

Thank you all for your replies and warnings, although it's incredibly disappointing. I'd rather not make it seem like suicide because I put my family through enough and if I fail I'll definitely be locked up

For emergencies (if my desire to die outweighs my empathy and anxiety) I collected some medication.
It's 1 bottle of morphine, 15 patches of fentanyl (not sure how to use those since it's slow releasing. Eat them?). I stole 12 tablets of methadon and saved up approx 100 tablets of oxycodon, and some tramadol (I guess about 50 of them?). I'm also able to save up on Lorazepam.
I just don't know how to get enough reliable anti-emetics and last time I projectile vomited.

Would that be enough and be quick enough? If I get caught and brought to hospital, would there be a chance I'll survive?

wow you have quite the stash! I believe that you will die from that as long as no one finds you but I cant say for sure that it wont be painful. It could cause vomiting, and you could choke and drown in your own vomit which sounds very unpleasant. My dad sadly died by drinking on methadone. But he also had sleep apnea which I think contributed to it.
Of course im not a doctor so take my words with a grain of salt

 

[Nola]

wow you have quite the stash! I believe that you will die from that as long as no one finds you but I cant say for sure that it wont be painful. It could cause vomiting, and you could choke and drown in your own vomit which sounds very unpleasant. My dad sadly died by drinking on methadone. But he also had sleep apnea which I think contributed to it.
Of course im not a doctor so take my words with a grain of salt

My throat collapses when I fall asleep so I guess I'd choke, too. From my last experience as long as an OD benzo's works I'll only be semi conscious.
But last time it took 3 days though so it outlasted the benzo's and I was consciously choking (metabolic acidosis so respiratory failure and a decrease in blood oxygen).

I really need to be sure how long it takes, otherwise I can't use it. I can't risk surviving and getting back in hands of those institutions

 

[ThisIsLife]

Thank you all for your replies and warnings, although it's incredibly disappointing. I'd rather not make it seem like suicide because I put my family through enough and if I fail I'll definitely be locked up

Gold sodium thiomalate. It's used to treat arthritis. Hypothetically, by sprinkling some of it on your corn flakes a little at a time for a couple of weeks, you would succumb to heavy metal toxicity of gold; but gold is never tested for during an autopsy, unless for politicians/high priority people. Peasants on the other hand are only tested for lead and mercury unless there are very particular recognisable symptoms such as those of thallium poisoning.
Once (common) heavy metals have been tested, they would be ruled out entirely and therefore any other symptoms relating to the toxicity would be ignored.

My advice: i wouldn't overcomplicate things for the sake of your family if i were you. You already have enough fent, morphine and oxy to CTB peacefully. And don't take my word for it, but i don't see how you could fail with such a stach and enough preparation/research.

 

[Nola]

My advice: i wouldn't overcomplicate things for the sake of your family if i were you. You already have enough fent, morphine and oxy to CTB peacefully. And don't take my word for it, but i don't see how you could fail with such a stach and enough preparation/research.

Thank you