How to deal with being short

[Damian]

Hi. I am a very short man and although I often think about death I am not in a position to take my own life and I want to try to cope somehow. My question is for people in a similar situation to mine. How do you deal with the fact that you are shorter than almost every guy you pass on the street and that you will never have a girlfriend? Thank you

 

[Coldpizza22]

Height is a factor, but it's not the only thing when people look at when choosing a partner. As a guy, I'm relatively short myself. It's a disadvantage for sure, but you can't do much about it. Some guys that are dating still complain about their height, and girls don't want to listen to that rambling.

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

When it comes to dealing with the fact you're short, embrace it a little bit. I know it sounds so cliche, but it does help with some insecurities. You don't have to crack jokes about it, but you can just acknowledge it. Also, know that beauty is subjective. Some girls, for example, don't like tall guys. Some like guys that are about the same height as them or a little shorter. We are all different from each other.

When it also comes to being insecure about height, find something you enjoy about yourself. It doesn't have to be physical, it can be something revolving around a talent or your personality. If you can't find anything, work on yourself a little bit. It can be anything. You can take up a new hobby you're interested in, learn a new language, learn how to say tongue twisters, anything!

Confidence, along with being polite, is very attractive. You don't have to love every single thing about yourself, but you can learn how to love yourself somewhat and acknowledge your flaws. I also want you to know that being confident doesn't mean acting tough. Still explain to girls how you feel, but not too much to where you are ridiculing your partner. Talking about your problems isn't weak. It is tough. Does that make sense?

I know I am not a guy, but I hope I helped somewhat coming from a girl. I wish you a nice day!

 

[Damian]

When it comes to dealing with the fact you're short, embrace it a little bit. I know it sounds so cliche, but it does help with some insecurities. You don't have to crack jokes about it, but you can just acknowledge it. Also, know that beauty is subjective. Some girls, for example, don't like tall guys. Some like guys that are about the same height as them or a little shorter. We are all different from each other.

When it also comes to being insecure about height, find something you enjoy about yourself. It doesn't have to be physical, it can be something revolving around a talent or your personality. If you can't find anything, work on yourself a little bit. It can be anything. You can take up a new hobby you're interested in, learn a new language, learn how to say tongue twisters, anything!

Confidence, along with being polite, is very attractive. You don't have to love every single thing about yourself, but you can learn how to love yourself somewhat and acknowledge your flaws. I also want you to know that being confident doesn't mean acting tough. Still explain to girls how you feel, but not too much to where you are ridiculing your partner. Talking about your problems isn't weak. It is tough. Does that make sense?

I know I am not a guy, but I hope I helped somewhat coming from a girl. I wish you a nice day!

Honestly, I haven't met a single girl irl or online, who said that she likes when a man is same height or even shorter. Every girl would choose taller guy over a manlet. Your personality doesn't matter when you get rejected only because of your height. Self confidence does nothing and I think that short man can't be confident. He is bullied all the time by everyone.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I'm a short guy and have a twin who is therefore the same height. He managed to marry a fabulous woman who is taller. So it's not "every girl" but it certainly is harder.

 

[Damian]

I'm a short guy and have a twin who is therefore the same height. He managed to marry a fabulous woman who is taller. So it's not "every girl" but it certainly is harder.

How much taller than him?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

How much taller than him?

3 inches.

 

[SleepyRobloxGrl]

My husband is short, albeit I am also short. It's never bothered me.

Also my sister is 5'6 and engaged to a man that is only 5 feet tall. She loves his height.

It's all about perspective and finding the right person imo

 

[istheretrulyalife?]

The right girl for you won't care about your height.

 

[Damian]

The right girl for you won't care about your height.

What if this "right girl" even doesn't exist? Then what right girl cares about?

 

[Slasher]

I have a decently attractive, jacked, makes good money and overall desirable friend but he is a good 5'4-5'6 and as far as my knowledge goes for the 7-8 years I've known him I've never heard him talk to a girl 1-on-1 or even in a non-platonic way and it makes me sad cause he deserves a gf way more then my depressed ass lmao. but on the other hand I also know a ''hot-ugly'' short guy around the same height that has basically nothing to offer but still has a gf. If you get your money up, hit the gym, looksmaxx, increase your social skills and just get yourself out there even tho it might be scary you will eventually find a gf. it's honestly just a numbers game, if you ask a 100 woman out at least one will accept. i really wish you the best of luck as i know how bad loneliness can be and just pm me if you have any questions.

 

[Damian]

I have a decently attractive, jacked, makes good money and overall desirable friend but he is a good 5'4-5'6 and as far as my knowledge goes for the 7-8 years I've known him I've never heard him talk to a girl 1-on-1

It's really sad that it doesn't matter how intelligent you are, how much you earn and that you are just a good man. Everything is ruined by hour height.

Actually this is what makes mo so suicidal, because my personality doesn't matter, what I will do doesn't matter. At most I can be a friend, not a boyfriend.

 

[JGT1]

"Honestly, I haven't met a single girl irl or online, who said that she likes when a man is same height or even shorter. Every girl would choose taller guy over a manlet. Your personality doesn't matter when you get rejected only because of your height. Self confidence does nothing and I think that short man can't be confident. He is bullied all the time by everyone." Completely agree with this

 

[m4rius]

You don't. It's an uphill battle no matter what.

It's just what you make of it, you can still "succeed" in life even with disadvantages. But nothing will ever take away the fact that you are living with an unchangeable disadvantage that others typically don't have.

 

[istheretrulyalife?]

What if this "right girl" even doesn't exist? Then what right girl cares about?

That's an answer you have to find for yourself. I can't answer that, but as some people say "there are plenty of fish in the sea"

 

[Damian]

You don't. It's an uphill battle no matter what.

It's just what you make of it, you can still "succeed" in life even with disadvantages. But nothing will ever take away the fact that you are living with an unchangeable disadvantage that others typically don't have.

It's over. When I would have a choice, I would like to be born without a sinle arm or leg instead of being so f*****g short. Im circa 20cm shorter than average young man in my country. I know that I will take my life, but when? I can't say. For now, I just want to cope.

 

[m4rius]

It's over. When I would have a choice, I would like to be born without a sinle arm or leg instead of being so f*****g short. Im circa 20cm shorter than average young man in my country. I know that I will take my life, but when? I can't say. For now, I just want to cope.

I know what you feel.

The feeling that one must have to compensate over something is so unbearable, knowing others can go by with 1/10th of the pain and effort you had to go through.

Having no arm or leg would at least give you pity points, but if you're someone "normal" but ugly, short, or autistic or god forbid any combination of the three, at that point you may as well say it never began.

 

[Monique696]

Honestly, I haven't met a single girl irl or online, who said that she likes when a man is same height or even shorter. Every girl would choose taller guy over a manlet. Your personality doesn't matter when you get rejected only because of your height. Self confidence does nothing and I think that short man can't be confident. He is bullied all the time by everyone.

My ex was the same high as me. He looked very handsome in a shorter format. Did not borther me in the slightest. You just need to find the right person

 

[Damian]

My ex was the same high as me. He looked very handsome in a shorter format. Did not borther me in the slightest. You just need to find the right person

its all about statistics, not a single person. Statistical woman won't even look at man that is 5.3' short. At most he will become her friend.

 

[Monique696]

its all about statistics, not a single person. Statistical woman won't even look at man that is 5.3' short. At most he will become her friend.

That sucks
One sec i need to see how it converts to cm ... dont know about inches and such

 

[Damian]

That sucks
One sec i need to see how it converts to cm ... dont know about inches and such

160cm

 

[Monique696]

that is rough but you can still find love and have a family. Maybe dating sucks for when you are younger but after 30+ it should be fine. My sisters first love was also a head smaller than her and she was a catch. Its not hopeless.
Not by a long shot. You just need to meet the right ladies and give it a shot. I wish you the best of luck! Even while shorter you still have the ability to land a beautiful woman.
Even nick vujicic found a wonderful wife and he was born without limbs. They have kids and all. He seems very happy today

Thats him and his family. Could be worse. Best not to worry too much about your shortcomings in life. We all have them. But dating and love are about so much more than just the basics.

 

[Damian]

that is rough but you can still find love and have a family. Maybe dating sucks for when you are younger but after 30+ it should be fine. My sisters first love was also a head smaller than her and she was a catch. Its not hopeless.
Not by a long shot. You just need to meet the right ladies and give it a shot. I wish you the best of luck! Even while shorter you still have the ability to land a beautiful woman.
Even nick vujicic found a wonderful wife and he was born without limbs. They have kids and all. He seems very happy today
View attachment 115201
Thats him and his family. Could be worse. Best not to worry too much about your shortcomings in life. We all have them. But dating and love are about so much more than just the basics.

im 22 yrs old, I know it would be easier when I would be older. Never begun for me.

 

[Sweet Tart]

I'm a cis woman and prefer people who are close to my height (on the short side of average), because it makes kissing and stuff more comfortable, imo. If I fell for someone who is tall, I'd figure it out, but height is just not a factor I think about at all.

I'm sorry your height is a source of frustration with dating.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Hi. I am a very short man and although I often think about death I am not in a position to take my own life and I want to try to cope somehow. My question is for people in a similar situation to mine. How do you deal with the fact that you are shorter than almost every guy you pass on the street and that you will never have a girlfriend? Thank you

I know this is kinda what everyone else has already said, but love is about more than height. Height is something in life you shouldn't feel bad about, as you cannot control it. Hell, my mom's boyfriend is either 5'2 or 5'3. I can't speak on it as I'm 5'8, which is average I think, but I feel short too as I know a lot of men are taller than me. I don't feel bad about it though. I had a girlfriend (past-tense, we broke up now due to unrelated issues). Trust me dude, it'll be okay, you just gotta try to have some confidence. Maybe focus on something you can control to boost confidence (body physique, social skills, etc.)

I wish I had a lot of advice to offer but just know you can find love, you just gotta look in the right places. And hey, at least you won't be dating vain women who are only focused on height to physical aspects.

 

[Damian]

I know this is kinda what everyone else has already said, but love is about more than height. Height is something in life you shouldn't feel bad about, as you cannot control it. Hell, my mom's boyfriend is either 5'2 or 5'3. I can't speak on it as I'm 5'8, which is average I think, but I feel short too as I know a lot of men are taller than me. I don't feel bad about it though. I had a girlfriend (past-tense, we broke up now due to unrelated issues). Trust me dude, it'll be okay, you just gotta try to have some confidence. Maybe focus on something you can control to boost confidence (body physique, social skills, etc.)

I wish I had a lot of advice to offer but just know you can find love, you just gotta look in the right places. And hey, at least you won't be dating vain women who are only focused on height to physical aspects.

Every woman I met paid attention to height, I don't blame them for that. I believe that I will be rejected by 99% of women only because of my height.

 

[UsagiDrop]

I kind of have the opposite problem as a tall woman. It isn't the same, but it did impact a lot of my confidence and to this day I still dislike it very much. In general, I think women get more affirmative messaging even when they possess certain features that are considered "unattractive" to the opposite sex, like being built like a football player lol. I feel for short men because I think that they have a similar insecurity but they're put at a greater disadvantage because of the lack of support surrounding that insecurity and a lack of attention in general. I think that's really wrong and unfortunate. All of that is to say that I don't want to offer you platitudes about "finding the right woman;" even though I think that is definitely well within the realm of possibilities, I also don't think it's something you want to hear. Reality sucks for all of us in one way or another lol, all we can do is try to accept it and play with the cards we've been dealt. That's literally all we can do.

I've honestly been trying to think of advice to offer for a while. Most people will desire to be desired, so I understand how not being seen as an option to women can impact your mental health because not being seen as an ideal option for men has definitely impacted mine. On the other side, I only started to have luck in dating when I leaned into the fetishization of my height (0/10 not recommending for you, please don't do this). It sucks, but that was the hand I was dealt, so I just ran with it. If you believe you will be rejected by 99% of women, all you can do is try to focus on the 1% that won't. As hard as that is lol.

If it's any consolation, at my giantess height, I've dated men as short as 5'0". Beggars can't be choosers, I guess, but I hope from the responses that you've gotten here you can see that some women won't mind. I obviously think that focusing on physical things like height is very shallow behavior, but unfortunately that's how the cookie crumbles in the dating world. Most people looking for anything will be shallow. It's a battle to find genuine people in this world. But as someone else stated, the bright side is that if you can find someone who doesn't mind, you can basically be sure that you won't be dealing with a vain woman.

You're still a person with value even if you're a short man. It's hard to actually accept and apply even for me, but I'm (trying to) learn that our worth isn't wrapped up in how the opposite/preferred sex views us. We don't control our heights, so at the very least, we should not be made to feel shame about them. I wish I knew the solution, and I hope the best for you.

 

[Damian]

I kind of have the opposite problem as a tall woman. It isn't the same, but it did impact a lot of my confidence and to this day I still dislike it very much. In general, I think women get more affirmative messaging even when they possess certain features that are considered "unattractive" to the opposite sex, like being built like a football player lol. I feel for short men because I think that they have a similar insecurity but they're put at a greater disadvantage because of the lack of support surrounding that insecurity and a lack of attention in general. I think that's really wrong and unfortunate. All of that is to say that I don't want to offer you platitudes about "finding the right woman;" even though I think that is definitely well within the realm of possibilities, I also don't think it's something you want to hear. Reality sucks for all of us in one way or another lol, all we can do is try to accept it and play with the cards we've been dealt. That's literally all we can do.

I've honestly been trying to think of advice to offer for a while. Most people will desire to be desired, so I understand how not being seen as an option to women can impact your mental health because not being seen as an ideal option for men has definitely impacted mine. On the other side, I only started to have luck in dating when I leaned into the fetishization of my height (0/10 not recommending for you, please don't do this). It sucks, but that was the hand I was dealt, so I just ran with it. If you believe you will be rejected by 99% of women, all you can do is try to focus on the 1% that won't. As hard as that is lol.

If it's any consolation, at my giantess height, I've dated men as short as 5'0". Beggars can't be choosers, I guess, but I hope from the responses that you've gotten here you can see that some women won't mind. I obviously think that focusing on physical things like height is very shallow behavior, but unfortunately that's how the cookie crumbles in the dating world. Most people looking for anything will be shallow. It's a battle to find genuine people in this world. But as someone else stated, the bright side is that if you can find someone who doesn't mind, you can basically be sure that you won't be dealing with a vain woman.

You're still a person with value even if you're a short man. It's hard to actually accept and apply even for me, but I'm (trying to) learn that our worth isn't wrapped up in how the opposite/preferred sex views us. We don't control our heights, so at the very least, we should not be made to feel shame about them. I wish I knew the solution, and I hope the best for you.

Were you rejected by men as being too tall or you rejected them because they were too short for you?


Even assuming that statistically 1 woman out of 100 will not reject me for my height alone, this means that 99 will reject me. I can't imagine 99 rejections, it's too much for my psyche which is already damaged, I've noticed how my mental health has deteriorated over several years. There are days that I get up in the morning and think only of death, in the evening the same thing. I don't even have someone to talk to about it, someone to confide in, that's why I created an account here.

Someone may say "ok, let go of women and focus on hobbies", but that's not how it works. Even if I reach the summit of Mount Everest I will still have in the back of my mind that none of women has ever wanted me, that I have never had sex, and people have been doing it since they were 15,16. That I'm such a genetic trash - let's tell the truth - that's the way it is.

 

[UsagiDrop]

Were you rejected by men as being too tall or you rejected them because they were too short for you?

I was getting rejected and doing some rejecting. When I did the rejecting, it wasn't on the basis of height— I literally didn't care, I just wanted someone to be nice to me and to not abuse/betray me in some way. I actually rejected some guys taller than me, and had horrible experiences with every guy taller than me that I tried to be with, but those were few and far in between by default in the country I grew up in. I developed a preference for shorter guys because if they were willing to give me a chance without making my height a big deal, I didn't have to worry about being treated in a particular way. But I did get rejected because I'm tall, many times, mostly when I was younger and actually pursuing. I'm not dating anymore so I don't really have any idea of what things would be like now. I've also moved and cultures are something to factor in. I don't exactly know how I'm perceived in the lens of another country's beauty standards and I don't think I could really handle knowing either way. But when I was dating, a lot of guys rejected me and masculinized me in general because of my height and how my body looked back then and that wasn't fun. The things they said to me and behind my back were crazy lol.

Someone may say "ok, let go of women and focus on hobbies", but that's not how it works. Even if I reach the summit of Mount Everest I will still have in the back of my mind that none of women has ever wanted me, that I have never had sex, and people have been doing it since they were 15,16. That I'm such a genetic trash - let's tell the truth - that's the way it is.

I agree with this, especially when it's compounded with never having sex before but desiring to have it. I can't relate to that part necessarily so I can imagine that makes things a lot harder. I don't want to tell you to stop thinking about it because I know that, realistically, things like that are hard to ignore. I even still think about how desirable I am to others sometimes but I'm slowly starting to care less about life in general, how I'm perceived isn't so soul crushing to me as it used to be. My height is probably not the worst thing about how I look these days when I go out lol. That being said,

I don't even have someone to talk to about it, someone to confide in, that's why I created an account here.

I'm happy that you made an account here so that you can potentially find people to confide in and talk to, I'm sure there are some people here who can relate to you. I hope they have better answers and I hope that you can connect with other men, especially, who can relate to you, because I don't think I could ever fully understand this as a woman even if I had a similar experience of being undesirable because of my height. It's definitely different even if they both suck. I can imagine that this is something that's hard to deal with.

 

[mafuyu]

there's a guy i know who is 5'4" and is sleeping with a new girl every month so i don't think it's a dealbreaker (he's like 5/10 attractive so idk)

i don't have advice just anecdotal stuff