Help How to Deal with a Traumatic Event

[LonelyDude15]

I recently went through a traumatic event and I basically have to go through it mostly alone. I'm thinking of dropping my only course right now in order to lay off the pressure but I want to know if there is anything else I should be doing. I've been obsessed with this forum, YouTube, music and video games as a way to distract myself because I'm too afraid of where my mind will wander to if I try to read a book in silence. To go to bed I basically take a bunch of melatonin pills and hope that I fall asleep before it gets too bad. I'm pretty sure this isn't the best approach but I kind of want to wait a while before I CTB just in case this feeling is temporary. Is there a way to deal with this healthily?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Take a bunch? I took more then I needed once in the same attempt and it didn't do anything. Not why I'm commenting just something I caught on my way to comment.

Therapy. Seriously. Process your trauma asap. The longer you sit on it the worse it will get.

 

[LonelyDude15]

Take a bunch? I took more then I needed once in the same attempt and it didn't do anything.

It would be kind of weird if it did considering it's a hormone haha. But ya I have one last consultation this Wednesday before I decide on a therapist.

 

[timf]

I have talked to a number of people right after and even some time after a traumatic event like the death of a child, rape, and other things like an unexpected divorce. While each situation has its own characteristics, there are some common elements.

The intensity of pain is proportional to the suddenness. If something is unexpected, it can greatly increase the effect of the impact. When recovery takes place, a return of the pain will often occur but at a slightly less intense level. Slowly over time the recurrences become less and less intense.

Your diversion approach is a pretty good way to wait out the worst of the pain while time works to allow the worst of it to subside. It can be similar to the physical impact of a car accident. Sometimes trauma over an extended period such as with child abuse or spousal abuse can leave permanent scars. However similar to recovery from a car accident there can be a degree of healing that can be achieved and with it a return of a degree of function.

One cautionary note about using a supplement like melatonin, there may be times when an extra boost seems to be desirable. You want to be careful not to get in a situation where side effect can cause additional problems. You might consider adding Tryptophan and GABA into the mix to give yourself some additional options.

You sound like you are doing all the right things to manage trauma, diverting yourself, reaching out for help, and recognizing the need for time to have its work. Hang in there.

 

[WhiteDespair]

I only know that I went numb for a month when I found out my mother CtB. I think that's what I would wind up doing.

Therapy and processing the trauma is good for the healing process as it can and will affect your entire life. It also helps to keep some normalcy so dropping the course may not be a good idea - unless you're actually failing or money is involved or whatever.

 

[Meretlein]

My advice is writing it down and talking about it with a trusted person. After that, try and bury the memory with new experiences.

That's what I do. I find traditional mental health help to be ineffective and/or untrustworthy but you can try it and see if it helps.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

I don't think there are any right ways to do these things. Just doing something is enough. Progressing and processing. Don't stop and stagnate. From experience, dropping a course would be a mistake unless you have something to replace it. I went through a sudden trauma in my mid-20s right before I was due to start community college. The course lasted 2 years normally, but I took an extra year and dropped a class to take it up the following year. This was important because if I simply dropped out like I wanted to, I would probably be in a ditch or in a worse state right now.

So, to answer your question; the healthy approach is to put one foot in front of the other. In the meantime seek therapy like you have mentioned and if you don't want to be alone with your thoughts, fill them with other things. You game? What do you play? Seek out the competitive scene. Depending on the game, there are often amateur teams or groups who just want to play in a competitive environment at all skill levels. This is a good way to keep your mind busy and think about something else. Take up walking or cooking.

 

[Weather]

I don't really have much to add that that others haven't already said. It's good to address it and work through it as soon as possible; you do not have to feel like this forever. I'm not sure what kind of trauma you had, but your therapist can likely help you with different strategies based on your needs in coping with what happened.

That said, good on you for already making that appointment and caring enough about yourself to look for ways to work through this.

 

[sufferingalways]

I have talked to a number of people right after and even some time after a traumatic event like the death of a child, rape, and other things like an unexpected divorce. While each situation has its own characteristics, there are some common elements.

The intensity of pain is proportional to the suddenness. If something is unexpected, it can greatly increase the effect of the impact. When recovery takes place, a return of the pain will often occur but at a slightly less intense level. Slowly over time the recurrences become less and less intense.

Your diversion approach is a pretty good way to wait out the worst of the pain while time works to allow the worst of it to subside. It can be similar to the physical impact of a car accident. Sometimes trauma over an extended period such as with child abuse or spousal abuse can leave permanent scars. However similar to recovery from a car accident there can be a degree of healing that can be achieved and with it a return of a degree of function.

One cautionary note about using a supplement like melatonin, there may be times when an extra boost seems to be desirable. You want to be careful not to get in a situation where side effect can cause additional problems. You might consider adding Tryptophan and GABA into the mix to give yourself some additional options.

You sound like you are doing all the right things to manage trauma, diverting yourself, reaching out for help, and recognizing the need for time to have its work. Hang in there.

Hello @timf I know you were replying to the OP but this is helpful to me as well for my situation, so thank you. Helpful re trauma processing. Are you a counsellor? You sound like you have some experience listening /helping people to heal.

 

[degeneratewaste]

yeah, sounds like I'm echoing the others here, but sounds like you're doing a good job so far. I'm proud that you're handling it this well. definitely try to keep distracting yourself as much as you can short term, without the use of any drugs or alcohol. finding healthier copes like the videos is great, would recommend continuing that, plus if you have any more hobbies that are healthy definitely try and throw yourself into that.

as said above, please try and get therapy as soon as possible, because the earlier you can get that, the better it will be. I can attest to this as I still haven't had therapy since my initial trauma almost 2 years ago and the stagnation has definitely thrown me into ever worse mental illness.

take things as they come, one day at a time. if you need to speak to anyone about anything on your mind at any point, do it, or try and get it written down or something to at least take a little of the burden off your mind. you got this.

 

[SanJunipero1]

I highly recommend a book called The Body Keeps The Score.
I also personally find writing to be incredibly therapeutic.