Discussion How to ctb and minimize family's pain?

[Linkous M]

First of all sorry by my English
I am Brazilian, new here, and I am very comfortable here because of the love and respect. It's an amazing forum that I already love so much.

I have started my SN method. Not difficult to buy in br. But I am really concerned because of my mom.

She loves me a lot. Some members here decided to die near from their moms - trying to die in her arms and give her this special moment. Another useres prefer to travel and rest in a hostel. I really don't know.

I don't want to bring pain for my family. Thank you a lot. Ps: my method is SN by PPH method.

 

[death137]

I don't know how you can minimize the family. Whether you do it at home or outside both have their pros and cons. But I don't know which one is better overall. I think it depends from person to person.

 

[Ulisses]

acho que só o tempo minimiza a dor que a família sente. com o tempo a família vai esquecendo a dor e pensando nos momentos bons que passaram com o suicida. espero que seja assim.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I'd probably do it away from your family home so that you're mother doesn't have to be the one to find your body afterwards. Welcome to the forum also

 

[DyingAlf]

You said that your Mum loves you a lot.
If you try to die near her & she finds you before you die I feel sure that she will phone for an ambulance rather than just holding you in her arms waiting for you to die, so if you don't want that to happen I guess travelling away to a hotel/hostel/somewhere might be a better plan.

edit: also, if she finds you if will be extra traumatising for her.

 

[Linkous M]

Thank you,
I think all the opinions made me think a lot about this suffering of those who would stay. I think I need more time, to think about everything better. And make this passage more subtle and generate the least possible suffering.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

welcome to ss!

i'm glad you decided to think about this and plan everything out. that's very important.

as others have said, i don't think you can ctb without hurting the ones you love. you can leave a note saying that it isn't their fault and that you loved them to let them know you care, but that's the only thing i can think of.

 

[Jellyfish42]

Only things I can think of is to say so explicitly on the suicide note, and making sure they don't have any clean up to do afterwards (whether it's reporting my body when I'm dead or getting rid of my belongings).

Ultimately I don't think there is much we can do to minimize the pain for parents. They will have to go through their grief and it will be difficult to process the death of their child in the short term.

 

[bov]

Is there a way to prevent a certain family member from having to be the one to identify your body? I only have one nuclear family member and it would absolutely destroy her.

 

[Linkous M]

Is there a way to prevent a certain family member from having to be the one to identify your body? I only have one nuclear family member and it would absolutely destroy her.

a great question - for me is the same:
I have my mother only and I would like to protect her as most as I can. And leave.

 

[OnlyTheWind]

Leave identification on or near yourself as well as a written note, directing authorities on who to contact. I am going to write a main 'exit' note, as well as letters to individuals so there are no mysteries as to 'why'. Maybe don't leave too many things behind that will remind your family of you. I plan to have the place cleared out and as bare as possible, even if I'll be ctb elsewhere. In fact, settle your matters thoroughly to make the process as easy as you can on them.

 

[Linkous M]

so difficult... prefer to disappear

 

[timetofly]

I'm in the same boat and I don't know what to do. I don't want to live but my death will terribly affect my sister, I feel trapped. If only I could make my death look like an accident…

 

[Linkous M]

I'm in the same boat and I don't know what to do. I don't want to live but my death will terribly affect my sister, I feel trapped. If only I could make my death look like an accident…

Totally agree
my biggest wish and challenge is that everyone thinks it was an accident with SN in the kitchen (something like - I'm using nitrites for meat but, apparently, I mistook it for sugar and drank a poisoned tea). no cards. without trace. for everyone to be confused and believe that it really could have been an accident. I believe that everyone will be better.