How to calm down before ctb

[happy2die]

I'm CTB today (like in 20 minutes I'm gonna start setting up) and Im starting to feel more anxiety. I'm sure of my decision, and I've made a lot of decisions depended on my dying. I need to chill

 

[ilovepsyschonaut4]

Ah, I've heard of a pill that has a side effect where you become not afraid of death although I can't remember the name for it but I'm sure you can find it if you dig a bit on the internet. Hope you find the peace you're looking for good luck.

 

[happy2die]

Ah, I've heard of a pill that has a side effect where you become not afraid of death although I can't remember the name for it but I'm sure you can find it if you dig a bit on the internet. Hope you find the peace you're looking for good luck.

unfortunately that might not work for me since I have ADHD and bc I'm doing it so soon. I've accepted that it'll hurt for like 20s but idk I just feel a little scared of what's next or if I'm missing out on some opportunity. Deep down I know that nothings going to change and that my life will only get harder smh

 

[homeboundcripple]

Whisky

 

[ilovepsyschonaut4]

unfortunately that might not work for me since I have ADHD and bc I'm doing it so soon. I've accepted that it'll hurt for like 20s but idk I just feel a little scared of what's next or if I'm missing out on some opportunity. Deep down I know that nothings going to change and that my life will only get harder smh

Ah, maybe choose another method that's less painful? Sorry you're going through this.

 

[happy2die]

Whisky

im 19

Ah, maybe choose another method that's less painful? Sorry you're going through this.

idk I feel like hanging is the best option for me. once I get past the first 20s it's the rope and gravity doing it's job. I've seen SN but I feel like it's too risky for me to buy it since I'm an authorized user on my parents card + don't have a debit card.

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

Well, basically you're asking what to do to decrease your SI, or the major fear a human being can feel: disappear forever. First of all, there's no way to erase it, you'll have to do whatever you decide with its presence; there are ways, however, to interfere in your nervous system, like taking pills for anxiety, drinking alcohol, or using illegal drugs. Biologically, killing yourself is a tough act, once you're going against the involuntary organs that keep you alive, so certainly you - and everyone, I guess - will find some resistance coming from their own individuality.

 

[Terrible_Life]

I'm CTB today (like in 20 minutes I'm gonna start setting up) and Im starting to feel more anxiety. I'm sure of my decision, and I've made a lot of decisions depended on my dying. I need to chill

I'm so sorry that everything led you to this point:(

I understand your anxiety it's normal. It might be the fear of the act itself or the unknown we don't know 100% what happens after we die. It could also be this feeling of missing something. The desires a person had during his life but could never fulfill them which is a tragedy in my opinion.

When I ctb I'll drink some alcohol before but i am sure i'll also feel like you do now full of anxiety etc no matter how much I'll tell myself that this must happen that theres no other alternative option left.
Therefore I think its all irrationality because of si and irrationality can be beaten by just doing the rational act. One can't hope that irrationality will all of a sudden turn into rationality.

Imagine someone with ocd and he needs to wash his hands all the time because he thinks that everything is contaminated. Logically he should just stop washing his hands alll the time but how likely is it that all of a sudden rationality will kick in and he stops being irrational? Correct it won't happen because the irrationality occupied his brain.

I think when i kill myself i will just do it and tell myself fuck it this si is a liar and wants me to prolong my senseless, empty, sad and painful life in which i'll 100%!!! never will get a happy and fulfilled life out of it because my past shows its an endless circle of pain.

 

[happy2die]

I got so far. I literally kicked the fucking chair away but i immediately reached back and got off BRO OMFG THIS IS SO ANNOYING. ALL THIS SETUP FOR WHAT BRO. it's ok I'm getting closer and closer every time. I just need to make sure my roommate isn't suspicious
got a big ass fucking mark on my neck too
and I think I fucked up my windpipe a little

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yeah fear isn't a big deal till your about to pull the Veil back. I get it.