Venting How the hell are people okay with being transgender?

[suicidal flapper]

Seriously how? How does one feel pride for this? I get told constantly that I make people feel uncomfortable for my "internalized transphobia" but I don't feel fucking pride when I took hrt for 2 years and nothing happened. I don't feel pride having my entire body being wrong. I don't feel pride having my entire childhood taken away from me when it was already shitty and lonely.

I hate being transgender so god damn much. How the fuck do people feel pride with something so unbelievably cruel and horrible?

 

[Aim]

Don't give a fuck and be proud of who you are! Btw a tip (if your open for it) check out Brettman rock on IG! awesome guy!

 

[suicidal flapper]

Don't give a fuck and be proud of who you are! Btw a tip (if your open for it) check out Brettman rock on IG! awesome guy!

I really appreciate the kind words but I'm not proud of it. I'm miserable. I hate looking like a man and I hate having to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars just to be happy in my early twenties. It's not fair to me

 

[Quiet_Cricket]

You talked as if being a trans is a forced thing? Can you explain why do you think that? If you explain your reason behind that'd be interesting.

The burden of dysphoria is a forced thing

 

[daydreams]

Im lgbt myself, but i think it's impossible to change gender, unfortunately if you are a different gender in your mind you can't do anything about it, life is unfair, its genetic in the first place
i think homosexuality (Im gay) and gender dysphoria are some kinds of mental troubles, and not healthy to be, unfortunately it's unchangeable so you must live with it, yes life want us to suffer.

I respect the people who identify as trans and i call them the pronounce that they want me to use

 

[suicidal flapper]

You talked as if being a trans is a forced thing? Can you explain why do you think that? If you explain your reason behind that'd be interesting.

WHAAAAT!!! HOW MUCH HAVE YOU PAID SO FAR suicidal flapper?

Can you reverse it? Can you be a male-again?

Dysphoria is not a choice. If your brain is wired to be a girl and your body is a man then you're going to be fucking miserable. It's not a choice and it is very much so forced onto me. Either I get these surgeries or I die trying

I'm paying 27k in February soon and after that I'll be paying 10-15k. If I wanted full transition it'd be closer to a hundred thousand but I'm not going to be alive for the rest of it

You talked as if being a trans is a forced thing? Can you explain why do you think that? If you explain your reason behind that'd be interesting.

WHAAAAT!!! HOW MUCH HAVE YOU PAID SO FAR suicidal flapper?

Can you reverse it? Can you be a male-again?

also I don't want to be male again

 

[puella]

Seriously how? How does one feel pride for this? I get told constantly that I make people feel uncomfortable for my "internalized transphobia" but I don't feel fucking pride when I took hrt for 2 years and nothing happened. I don't feel pride having my entire body being wrong. I don't feel pride having my entire childhood taken away from me when it was already shitty and lonely.

I hate being transgender so god damn much. How the fuck do people feel pride with something so unbelievably cruel and horrible?

I'm proud of you. You're doing something insanely difficult, and trying your best. That's more than enough reason to be proud.

I also hate that I'm trans. I hate that I was denied a normal childhood and adolescence, I hate that my body was irreversibly ruined by male puberty, I hate that I was cut off from certain friends and family members, I hate that I had to leave the place I grew up in because of bigots and legislation, and I hate that I'm going to die soon because of it all. But I'm proud of myself for going through everything, even if all my trying ends in failure.

I took hrt for 2 years and nothing happened.

Two years is actually rather short when compared to how long HRT can take to be effective. Just try to keep going.

 

[livinginhellnation]

But they aren't ok with us killing ourselves....

 

[suicidal flapper]

Don't get me wrong... You can get me wrong if you want but to me being trans as a forced thing is just a rip-off.

Yes. Your families genetics might play a thing but lifestyle choices are also effecting your mood. Like eating too much fatty food and exposing too much estrogens can make you act and think like feminine (wishing to get babies or something) even though you are a male in the first place.

Before stoning me about my statement. Let me finish my statement. My statement is for most of the people out there, being trans is not a forced thing.

If you know you are going to end up failing too much money and time and having too much side-effect. Why continuing? It's like chemotherapy to me. To me it's a waste of time. It's my opinion though, if you want it you can keep it.

Dude fuck off. You know nothing about the topic. Genuinely fuck off. Stop telling me how I fucking feel

 

[wait.what]

I don't particularly feel "pride" in being transgender, because I had nothing to do with that. I didn't pick my gender any more than anyone else does. I don't feel shame about it either, for pretty much the same reasons.

I do sometimes feel a sense of pride that I've survived as long as I have. I'm sure you've noticed that ordinary, everyday life has a "Mission: Impossible" quality to it when you're trans. As in: 1) Go to neighborhood bar with friends on a weekend night. 2) Get carded by jackass employee at the door, who loudly challenges you about the name and gender marker on your ID. He accuses you of carrying a fake license because "You don't look like the picture." (No shit, Sherlock.) 3) Choose one: A) sit in the car all night & pretend you're fine with it, so your friends don't feel emotionally blackmailed into walking out & taking you to some queer bar they don't know or want to be at, B) attempt to "reason" with the jackass, which involves protracted negotiations and delay. Pissed-off people at the back of the line start swearing at you. The jackass keeps demanding "proof" of your identity, and you get the distinct impression that he's just a nosy sonofabitch who wants confirmation of your trans status. In any case, he keeps deadnaming and misgendering you until some shithead back in the line orders you to get out of the doorway or he'll "kick your faggot ass." Never return to that bar again. Stay home a lot more.

Most people don't have to strategize for not getting murdered in a public toilet, and I think a person would be justified in feeling some pride for making it out of awful situations.

Edit: Damn, this thread already generated some doozies. I'm too tired to engage, though. Maybe later.

 

[puella]

This isn't a space to have "the trans debate", @OATMEAL @YmirWarinharii. She was just venting, not asking you for your completely uninformed opinion on conversion therapy. Go away.

 

[suicidal flapper]

Changing something on the outside won't fix the problem that is on the inside. A lot of people regret trying to change their gender on the outside because it doesn't resolve the conflict that has to do with internal disturbance and changing what's on the outside might not turn out to heal whatever
is making it difficult to accept your biological sex. As a young lady I struggled with body dysmorphia even though I had a really nice, healthy, well proportioned body compared to the average woman. I ended up getting breast implants I didn't need, but they never did come out like what I was hoping for and it only made things worse. They were too big also. Doctor talked me into going bigger than I actually wanted. I hope that before u go to these extreme lengths to change the outside u will work on spiritual healing first, or look into trying to heal in a different way. Im not telling u not to do it but as an older mature adult, trying to prevent u from potential massive regret. I've been there before struggling to accept myself and appearance, even my biological gender because I was rejected by parents for being female and I was also the victim of sexual abuse as a child being female. I now understand boys get molested probably close to the same rates as girls but didn't know that then.

Most people don't regret gender surgeries. Where are you getting this from? I regret not getting it years ago when I could've fixed my body at a young age. Also 80% of my problems are because of my gender dysphoria. There is no cure on the inside or acceptance regarding being trans.

Just think about it. Do you not think me, and the thousands of other trans haven't tried that before they got all these expensive and scary surgeries? I tried for years to accept myself as a man. It's literally impossible because it's not what my brain is wired to be

 

[Dot]

I don't particularly feel "pride" in being transgender, because I had nothing to do with that. I didn't pick my gender any more than anyone else does. I don't feel shame about it either, for pretty much the same reasons.

I do sometimes feel a sense of pride that I've survived as long as I have. I'm sure you've noticed that ordinary, everyday life has a "Mission: Impossible" quality to it when you're trans. As in: 1) Go to neighborhood bar with friends on a weekend night. 2) Get carded by jackass employee at the door, who loudly challenges you about the name and gender marker on your ID. He accuses you of carrying a fake license because "You don't look like the picture." (No shit, Sherlock.) 3) Choose one: A) sit in the car all night & pretend you're fine with it, so your friends don't feel emotionally blackmailed into walking out & taking you to some queer bar they don't know or want to be at, B) attempt to "reason" with the jackass, which involves protracted negotiations and delay. Pissed-off people at the back of the line start swearing at you. The jackass keeps demanding "proof" of your identity, and you get the distinct impression that he's just a nosy sonofabitch who wants confirmation of your trans status. In any case, he keeps deadnaming and misgendering you until some shithead back in the line orders you to get out of the doorway or he'll "kick your faggot ass." Never return to that bar again. Stay home a lot more.

Most people don't have to strategize for not getting murdered in a public toilet, and I think a person would be justified in feeling some pride for making it out of awful situations.

Edit: Damn, this thread already generated some doozies. I'm too tired to engage, though. Maybe later.

Slf am deltng trnsphobc commnts & usrs wll b delt wth l8tr



Trnsphbia & spreadng misnfrmatn abt transgndr issus wll nt b toler8td

 

[puella]

Slf am deltng trnsphobc commnts & usrs wll b delt wth l8tr



Trnsphbia & spreadng misnfrmatn abt transgndr issus wll nt b toler8td

Thank you, Dot.

 

[Dot]

This isn't a space to have "the trans debate", @OATMEAL @YmirWarinharii. She was just venting, not asking you for your completely uninformed opinion on conversion therapy. Go away.

Bth usrs hve bn bannd frm thred & slf wll nt hesit8 t/ d/ th/ sme wth n.e1 els postng misnfrmatn or trnsphobc tlkng pnts on ths thred

 

[suicidal flapper]

Let's say you become hundred percent girl. Do you still need to take some hormones to check your current testosterone?

Cool I don't want to be a human agai

Let's say you become hundred percent girl. Do you still need to take some hormones to check your current testosterone?

Cool I don't want to be a human again

Fuck

Let's say you become hundred percent girl. Do you still need to take some hormones to check your current testosterone?

Cool I don't want to be a human again

No I just need to take estrogen. Also becoming 100% a girl is out of the equation. Also that's fine. I don't want to be human again either

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Most people don't regret gender surgeries. Where are you getting this from? I regret not getting it years ago when I could've fixed my body at a young age. Also 80% of my problems are because of my gender dysphoria. There is no cure on the inside or acceptance regarding being trans.

Just think about it. Do you not think me, and the thousands of other trans haven't tried that before they got all these expensive and scary surgeries? I tried for years to accept myself as a man. It's literally impossible because it's not what my brain is wired to be

I guess when a person's mind is made up on this it's hard to try to get them to consider other ideas or information. I'm not sure what the honest statistics are on outcomes of resassignment surgeries is but I have heard that profit is more important than what might be in the best interest of the individual person. I'm not saying it is always wrong for each person but it could be hard to find honest information about the longterm outcomes of altering your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex. I really hope that it does work out for u the way that u want and u end up better off after. Sorry if I offended u and definitely don't mean to. I'm genuinely trying to be caring about your wellbeing.

 

[tiger b]

Bit sad some people can't respect someone's vent.

Plenty of other places for education should people require that - which patently seems the case.

 

[RainAndSadness]

A trans person complaining and venting about the harsh reality of being trans doesn't give cis people a pass to spout transphobic nonsense in this thread.

And to make very clear where we stand in this forum, I'll kindly refer to a previous post of mine from another thread, citing scientific research in favor of trans people. Please educate yourself instead of poisoning this thread, thank you very much.

Please refrain from spreading misinformation. None of the things you've said are true. Trans-affirming medical procedures and validation is what decreases depression, self-harm and suicidal behavior of trans people. [1][2][3][4]
The detransition rate is ususally consistently between one and two percent. [5][6][7][8][9]

 

[todeswunsch]

I'm not trans, so this is an outsider perspective
But what I understand the pride is about surviving even tho being trans with all its problems.
Like there's no sense in a pride of being white cis male since there are no struggles related to this.
The pride is related on being a warrior and overcoming all difficulties.
I'm proud of being autistic but I hate all problems related to autism, one don't nullify the other.
You can be proud of who you are while accepting that you have problems to deal with. That's how I see it

Good luck on your journey.
I wish you the best!

 

[reallysleepy]

I relate 100% to this, I hate my body so much I wish I could be a cis girl.

Maybe check about coming to Argentina for a couple of months to get the surgeries. In buenos Aires healthcare cost between 20 and 100 dollars a month and you can get all the surgeries and hrt with that. Rent is about 200 300 dollars tops.

 

[suicidal flapper]

I guess when a person's mind is made up on this it's hard to try to get them to consider other ideas or information. I'm not sure what the honest statistics are on outcomes of resassignment surgeries is but I have heard that profit is more important than what might be in the best interest of the individual person. I'm not saying it is always wrong for each person but it could be hard to find honest information about the longterm outcomes of altering your physical appearance to look like the opposite sex. I really hope that it does work out for u the way that u want and u end up better off after. Sorry if I offended u and definitely don't mean to. I'm genuinely trying to be caring about your wellbeing.

My mind isn't really made up on this because it was never a choice to begin with. Just like being gay isn't a choice. I appreciate the sentiment and I'm sorry for being aggressive but it's just frustrating to hear the same things again and again and again. It makes me feel like no one actually understands what being born in the wrong body is like

 

[travelnoon]

Seriously how? How does one feel pride for this? I get told constantly that I make people feel uncomfortable for my "internalized transphobia" but I don't feel fucking pride when I took hrt for 2 years and nothing happened. I don't feel pride having my entire body being wrong. I don't feel pride having my entire childhood taken away from me when it was already shitty and lonely.

I hate being transgender so god damn much. How the fuck do people feel pride with something so unbelievably cruel and horrible?

i think i understand what you mean and ive got a few words if youre willing to read. in my opinion it was never really about pride. as transmasc, to me it always seemed more like a lot of people in a shitty situation banding together to try and not get themselves killed. theres no being proud of being trans itself, just being proud that we found a group who can understand us because they are like us. all these asses disrespecting your vent have no excuse because they have probably never felt what it is like to experience this kind of pain. stay strong, it sucks out here but we are not alone.

 

[Jinxyxx]

Oh my fucking god finally someone get it. THANK YOU. I have a lot of lgbt friends who are so into lgbt culture, theyre so proud of it and i just dont get it. And i hate when they call me slurs or just in general joke about my gender or sexuality. They think its all cool because we are all "amazing and proud of who we are" but in reality i fucking hate this and i dont even want to live a life in this body.

 

[catmewomeow]

im glad someone else feels the way i do. i just feel ashamed that i have to put in so much effort (and possibily thousands of dollars) to get myself to look correctly. even when i do, theres just going to be assholes who actively try to disrespect me despite how much effort i put in.

 

[RosebyAnyName]

I'm a lesbian and cis but I also don't relate to the whole "pride" thing. It feels like the LGBTQ version of toxic positivity, and it keeps a lot of the more serious and important discussions that we should be having out of the spotlight. Not that other people can't be proud of their identities / sexuality / etc., but I think a lot of people within the LGBTQ feel this way about the whole "pride" thing, it's just not talked about as much.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

Can't relate, but I wish there was something I could say or do to help, but, I cannot so *hug* instead.

 

[suicidal flapper]

Oh my fucking god finally someone get it. THANK YOU. I have a lot of lgbt friends who are so into lgbt culture, theyre so proud of it and i just dont get it. And i hate when they call me slurs or just in general joke about my gender or sexuality. They think its all cool because we are all "amazing and proud of who we are" but in reality i fucking hate this and i dont even want to live a life in this body.

Same. I have online friends who refuse to even believe that HRT didn't do much for me and then ostracized me from our group when I started complaining about all of this

I'm a lesbian and cis but I also don't relate to the whole "pride" thing. It feels like the LGBTQ version of toxic positivity, and it keeps a lot of the more serious and important discussions that we should be having out of the spotlight. Not that other people can't be proud of their identities / sexuality / etc., but I think a lot of people within the LGBTQ feel this way about the whole "pride" thing, it's just not talked about as much.

Especially when people don't. They'll get really offended when someone says they don't want to go through the pain of it. Forced happiness is so beyond miserable

 

[Ameya]

Sorry you have to go through this genuine. Life must be fucking awful like that especially in todays age where transphobia just got worse.



I don't know how exactly you look, but there are many things to make you look like your preferred gender.



Thankfully there is a lot of things like clothes etc. Good luck to you

 

[achb]

My friend is proud to be trans. Not because it is a pleasant experience, but because it is a part of who they are. They don't like their body most of the time. But they are proud of the fact that it is there, and even the parts they hate are proof of the struggles they have overcome. They are proud of the identity that allows them to be a part of a group that works together to make life that much better. That kind of thing.

Idk. I see parallels in autistic people who are proud to be autistic. Or Deaf people who are proud to be Deaf.

They are not proud of the difficulties. They are proud of their resilience despite them. And they are proud of the community they have entered through it.

But everyone has a right to their own feelings. I am not proud of parts of myself that cause me harm. They're fucking annoying and I wish they'd disappear lol.