KiraComplex
sugar, spice…
- Aug 31, 2019
- 268
My last post, was posted in i think May, i described my intrusive and obsessive thoughts about people hurting me and the apocalypse.
A commenter said that i may have "Pure O OCD", and since then ive been researching heavily.
Anyways, ive been having almost non stop intrusive thoughts about watching television. A clothing brand commercial where everyone is dancing and laughing, while children overseas make those jeans and shirts for 20 cents a day. Food commercials, where everyone sings and laughs about eating an animal that suffered its whole life until death (guilty because my mom makes a mean fucking beef stew and shepards pie and im not giving that up).
ive been listening to a Japanese singer, whos currently in his late 60's. I keep thinking how someday he'll die. Same with my parents, who arent even that old- i have this notion that they could die at any moment and any interaction i have with them will be the last.
i want to stop the thoughts. I want to stop existing. Everyday, since i was so young, i couldnt stop these thoughts.
i have thrifted clothing because the thought of buying new makes me ill. Im not even trying to be sustainable- i have disgusting, horrible thoughts about how im funding people to die in clothing factories.
I just want to leave.
A commenter said that i may have "Pure O OCD", and since then ive been researching heavily.
Anyways, ive been having almost non stop intrusive thoughts about watching television. A clothing brand commercial where everyone is dancing and laughing, while children overseas make those jeans and shirts for 20 cents a day. Food commercials, where everyone sings and laughs about eating an animal that suffered its whole life until death (guilty because my mom makes a mean fucking beef stew and shepards pie and im not giving that up).
ive been listening to a Japanese singer, whos currently in his late 60's. I keep thinking how someday he'll die. Same with my parents, who arent even that old- i have this notion that they could die at any moment and any interaction i have with them will be the last.
i want to stop the thoughts. I want to stop existing. Everyday, since i was so young, i couldnt stop these thoughts.
i have thrifted clothing because the thought of buying new makes me ill. Im not even trying to be sustainable- i have disgusting, horrible thoughts about how im funding people to die in clothing factories.
I just want to leave.