How should I jump/fall

[raindrops]

TL'DR - I'm in love and I can't wait to be with him any longer I want his love now, I want to be together... now.
So how should I jump? Backwards without looking? Is that it, anything else? It's 341ft please for the last time is this enough?

I'm sorry if I've been going on awhile but today I finally think I have the courage to do it. I'm not joking or lying, I mean it but I have to make sure I will go.
Enough is enough, I can't take anymore. He is all I love and he clearly fell in love with someone else (she lives in another country but he cried once she found out about us having sex) I cannot get it off my mind, how he met someone else, how we meet up and have dinner and romantic walks, I've ruined everything with his family... I want him and the love from his family. Everyday since the 7th of March this year I have contemplated my death, sure it may be painful for a second, I just need to know I will die.

I have to die, there's nothing going for me. Once I'm dead they will all love me then and that makes me happy just thinking how sad they will be, at least for awhile.
I'm 27 now! I was with this person 11 years, lived together and one day he never came home because I fuking ruined everything and now I live at home... I might of said this a lot already and I'm sorry. So how should I jump?

 

[airboy_a380]

I'm not pro life but think this one for a bit. U so young.

 

[raindrops]

I'm not pro life but think this one for a bit. U so young.

27 no well paid job, no partner or is he my partner we do all the things "lovers" do. No children, no home to call my own, I live with my grandmother.
No qualifications, no big family, no friendships - I despise people and their opinions, maybe they despise mine.
I trust only him after everything he truly is all I want no one else but him. I refuse to love someone else. He's the only person I have had intimacy with.
Everything is so ruined and I had it so perfect, the only way is down from here surely (no pun intended)

 

[airboy_a380]

Falling out with my ex it's the reason I wanna go too, it's been 5 years and I can't forget what we had. She moved out with her life, looks happy, and I'm the one who became depressed, lost my job, a high income one btw cause of it. Left all my friends and ended up living at my parents. I'm 40! That is so much worse, not saying your story is not, it is sad. But give it 6 months at least. in your age it's easy to fall in lovE again. Not in mine. And I'm still trying to get better. I even saw a sex tape of her and the guy she cheated on me, imagine that...

 

[raindrops]

Falling out with my ex it's the reason I wanna go too, it's been 5 years and I can't forget what we had. She moved out with her life, looks happy, and I'm the one who became depressed, lost my job, a high income one btw cause of it. Left all my friends and ended up living at my parents. I'm 40! That is so much worse, not saying your story is not, it is sad. But give it 6 months at least. in your age it's easy to fall in lovE again. Not in mine. And I'm still trying to get better. I even saw a sex tape of her and the guy she cheated on me, imagine that...

You have your parents! So lucky. Can I ask do they own their house? I don't mean to be rude or insensitive but if they own it, you have something to back you up... I have no father, mother, auntie, uncle, niece, nephews, cousins, bestfriend, people to count on. I have my sisters and they're much younger and live a boat trip and train away from me. Give it 6 months, what about 6 minutes he just sent a message saying "we can look after eachother <3" I haven't opened it yet, I am scared. He walked out because I was destructive, jealous, I could be verrrry nasty, now I am so ready to be a better person for him and myself but what about his parents, I assume they hate me. You are 40, you are young, you have family, you have so much to offer and can always get back into a high paid job if thats what you had before... today I cleaned toilets.

 

[RedDEE]

341 feet is more than enough. Are you jumping into water or onto land?

 

[airboy_a380]

You have your parents! So lucky. Can I ask do they own their house? I don't mean to be rude or insensitive but if they own it, you have something to back you up... I have no father, mother, auntie, uncle, niece, nephews, cousins, bestfriend, people to count on. I have my sisters and they're much younger and live a boat trip and train away from me. Give it 6 months, what about 6 minutes he just sent a message saying "we can look after eachother <3" I haven't opened it yet, I am scared. He walked out because I was destructive, jealous, I could be verrrry nasty, now I am so ready to be a better person for him and myself but what about his parents, I assume they hate me. You are 40, you are young, you have family, you have so much to offer and can always get back into a high paid job if thats what you had before... today I cleaned toilets.

Yes I do have parents but they act like I don't exist. Cause they see me depressed all the time so they gave up on me. I could be in my room for days and they won't talk to me to even ask if I'm ok. I ditched all of my friends. They were mostly drinking buddies. So I'm alone like you. I have a sister too which I don't talk to either. Cleaning toilets no wrong in that, at least you still have energy to work. I'm brain paralysed. Stuck in a limbo! And I see no end in sight. If your man loves you back don't give up on him. But if he doesn't as much as it will hurt and trust me I know the pain it feels! Leave him , carry on! If I go online I can get hook ups but I don't even want that anymore. Just don't jump! Not yet! Try one last time! Like me that's what I'm doing.

 

[raindrops]

341 feet is more than enough. Are you jumping into water or onto land?

It would be rocks/shallow water

Yes I do have parents but they act like I don't exist. Cause they see me depressed all the time so they gave up on me. I could be in my room for days and they won't talk to me to even ask if I'm ok. I ditched all of my friends. They were mostly drinking buddies. So I'm alone like you. I have a sister too which I don't talk to either. Cleaning toilets no wrong in that, at least you still have energy to work. I'm brain paralysed. Stuck in a limbo! And I see no end in sight. If your man loves you back don't give up on him. But if he doesn't as much as it will hurt and trust me I know the pain it feels! Leave him , carry on! If I go online I can get hook ups but I don't even want that anymore. Just don't jump! Not yet! Try one last time! Like me that's what I'm doing.

I can't promise anything, everyday all I think about is ending it all. It seems the best option.
I don't want attention for it, that's why I post here to get facts, to be reassured. Then I remember some have survived from higher and that makes me reluctant to jump. It's all I think about everyday, yeah I still work but no energy to better the position I'm in.
I wish you well though. Everything you have said I can sort of relate to..

 

[airboy_a380]

It would be rocks/shallow water

I can't promise anything, everyday all I think about is ending it all. It seems the best option.
I don't want attention for it, that's why I post here to get facts, to be reassured. Then I remember some have survived from higher and that makes me reluctant to jump. It's all I think about everyday, yeah I still work but no energy to better the position I'm in.
I wish you well though. Everything you have said I can sort of relate to..

Watch the documentary on YouTube regarding the Golden Bridge jumpers, some have survived. But I'm with you, if u can't take it anymore, then that's all sealed up for you. I'm here whenever u need. Try and watch that documentary if you haven't already.

 

[LetzteAusfahrt]

Jumping is like any other method; it can't work either.

You can get in your chair, fall down and die. You can throw yourself 341ft and survive.

When jumping, landing is the relevant criterion. If you can make sure that you land headfirst on a hard surface, then it should work fine.

So something like a small brake parachute mounted on your feet keeps you in the right position. But you also have to maintain enough body tension.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Once I'm dead they will all love me then and that makes me happy just thinking how sad they will be, at least for awhile.

You're obviously in a lot of pain and I feel for you. Heartbreak in all of its forms can be some of the most brutal pain we ever experience.

It troubles me, though, to hear you tie your life to this situation. It sounds as if you see no validity to your life without him. You are your own person, and you don't need anyone to complete you. Yes, others can enrich our lives, but you are still whole without them. Please don't tie your worth to the feelings of another. There is seldom *one* person who is meant for us. Our experiences change us. You still have a chance to find someone who loves you even more and enriches your life more.

Also troubling is the idea that you see death as a way to immortalize some vision of yourself. It sounds as if you want him and his family to know your pain, feel your pain, remember you at this moment, and to have to live with that. Are you sure that's what you want? We have no control over how others react to our death. Your desired results may never transpire.

I encourage you to really think about your situation and what's best for you. I understand that the pain is overwhelming. As someone with a few more years' experience in this world, and the subject of many a heartbreak, I can assure you that things are not as hopeless for you as you think. I also encourage you to surround yourself with positive people who can show you your worth. That's why I come to SS everyday - a supportive environment where people understand me.

Sending you positive vibes and virtual hugs.

 

[raindrops]

You're obviously in a lot of pain and I feel for you. Heartbreak in all of its forms can be some of the most brutal pain we ever experience.

It troubles me, though, to hear you tie your life to this situation. It sounds as if you see no validity to your life without him. You are your own person, and you don't need anyone to complete you. Yes, others can enrich our lives, but you are still whole without them. Please don't tie your worth to the feelings of another. There is seldom *one* person who is meant for us. Our experiences change us. You still have a chance to find someone who loves you even more and enriches your life more.

Also troubling is the idea that you see death as a way to immortalize some vision of yourself. It sounds as if you want him and his family to know your pain, feel your pain, remember you at this moment, and to have to live with that. Are you sure that's what you want? We have no control over how others react to our death. Your desired results may never transpire.

I encourage you to really think about your situation and what's best for you. I understand that the pain is overwhelming. As someone with a few more years' experience in this world, and the subject of many a heartbreak, I can assure you that things are not as hopeless for you as you think. I also encourage you to surround yourself with positive people who can show you your worth. That's why I come to SS everyday - a supportive environment where people understand me.

Sending you positive vibes and virtual hugs.

You have no reason to read this I'm constantly going on and on. I'm sorry I feel so fucking sorry for myself, I hate it, I feel like a shit burden.
Your words mean a lot to me <3 It's just he is all I love and want. Not need, want.
We still meet up, we do so many things that I thought 4 months ago had surely gone forever. To that you could say well you're not lonely, well I just feel lonely.

I ruined it. I was destructive, no really I would break his things, curse his family not to their face but to his, I was somewhat controlling, hateful 24/7...I really blame weed and mostly my childhood. I think it's okay to smoke if you do but not for me anymore. Now I look back on how I acted and I want to be there for him like I wasn't before, I want to live in the moment when 4/5 months ago I lived in the past. I'd mention how he kissed a girl when he was 15! fuck sake 15! We lived together and I made him suffer due to my anxiety.

Oh he's all I love. My humour is the same as his, we are the same.
Trust me when I say I'm not like many people out there and no one is like him, we truly match. I wish I never pushed him away.
Our interests are the same. The way I trust him with my life and I made out I didn't. He left because all I could think about was myself.
I'd cry too him "would you leave me" "am I going to be alone, I'm so alone" "will I be homeless" that's a load of bullshit no one wants to hear daily.
He use to look at me with these loving eyes and promise no... then he left. He had enough. I don't blame him either.
I pushed and pushed at one point I thought I had BPD...

Now we speak all the time, it's wonderful, it feels like home in his arms. He said I scared him though, he had nightmares of the things I had done and now he says I should be happy and stop moping because he's given me the chance to speak again. He says lets take it day by day. But how? How can I get his families love back. His mother thinks/thought I hated him having family. When in fact we were high on weed all the time, I haven't smoked weed now in 3 months! I'm proud of myself. He hasn't smoked it either.

Yesterday I got so drunk with him at the beach I got angry at the thought of her that he use to speak with, I said some awful things about her and it annoyed him. Stupidly I finally opened up and said I think about dying most days. What have I done, why did I say that D:
Ahhh I'm always going on. I'm just lonely. I want things to work out so badly.

love this song by Muse - "loneliness be over, when will this loneliness be over"

 

[Ghost2211]

I know how this feels. I got the same way when my 11 year relationship ended. Everyone said "it will get better with time". I took that as complete bs pleasantries. It took 8 months to get fairly better, but it actually does. It was hell for several months, but one day it starts to fade.

Give yourself some time and space to adjust to being out of the relationship, and make sure there really is no life beyond it. Sometimes it can be wild how much reality can change with time.

Im here if you need to talk.

 

[bravotess]

Going through the same thing now. I think the constant contact makes it harder. Like a clean break, without any communication. The constant communication keeps my hopes up. Then I just get let down over and over and over again.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Honestly it's hard to control how you land so don't bother thinking too much about it. You're best off jumping in any position that isn't totally foot-first. The massive shock of the impact will fling your body down onto the floor and will likely cause massive trauma no matter what if you jump from high enough. Obviously the ideal would be landing on your head, but unless you think you're going to be calm enough to execute a flawless swan dive into the concrete you're best off just throwing yourself off and letting gravity do the work.