How people handle shit/ suicidality

[noname223]

I am bipolar. Due to my traumatas i am obsessed with suicide. Depression is like hell for me. My parents handle their bad conscience by lying to themselves. They doing way better than me with this. (Everything will be fine etc.) I have met in clinics several people with severe depression. Many of them denied suicidal thoughts. A very good psychologist told me he never met a severly depressed person without suicidal thoughts. And I think he is right.

In my bipolar self-aid group i asked some of them have you ever had suicidal thoughts. Many denied it completely. When I digged deeper they admited some thoughts.
I asked them why they lied to me in the first place. A man told me he did not want to admit that he is such a loser who even does not want to live.
I cannot really comprehend why there should be a link between having suicidal thoughts and being a loser. There a some conditions in my life why i think i might be a loser but my suicidality is certainly not. I have the feeling it is more rational. I really have a bad life without prospects.

Another girl in the clinic told us. She is scared and ashamed that she is crazy because she has suicidal thoghts. Again i wonder why someone thinks like that. I find it ridiculous. In this society we should talk more openly about suicide. Instead of stigmatizing people who want to ctb.
Another psychologists told me only crazy people commit suicide.
Sorry that i talk so much. But it helps me today

 

[Sensei]

That's very interesting. Can you be a suicidal person in denial?

 

[noname223]

I am not native speaker. I do not completely understand the question.
But i am pretty sure people deny suicidality when they are severly depressed. I have met for example religious people or my sister. I asked her if she had suicidal thoughts. She denied it. I digged a bit deeper. And then she used a euphemism. Sometimes she had the wish to jump out of the window. But i am not sure which approach is better. Mine approach or their approach. Just denying the reality.

 

[PursuitofWonder]

I have certainly seen a few people who repress their suicidal thoughts because they want to believe they're okay. For them it seems that if they don't acknowledge it they think it'll eventually disappear. For me and so many people I met in inpatient, they simply deny suicidal thoughts out of fear for repercussions such as waiting longer to get out of hospital. It's disgusting that people are afraid to admit things out of fear from medical professionals.

 

[Sensei]

I am not native speaker. I do not completely understand the question.

Nor am I. You seem to have understood exactly what I meant.

 

[aminend]

As I see and know most of successful suicides have been related to brave and clever persons. Clever persons see future better

 

[Lostandlooking]

The way people deal with things is very personal. You just try to cope any way you can. Not talking about suicidal feelings can be one way of dealing with it, maybe because the reality hurts too much. I think sometimes people absolutely don't permit themselves to go there. So much that the suicidality never really becomes a conscious thought, it just gets pushed into the subconscious. It's a taboo subject for a lot of people sadly.

 

[orbroots]

For plenty of people, suicide is as rational as any other behavior we all practice and condone so why can't we all speak freely about it? It is not easy to be alive. It is reasonable to want to leave the party early if you're not having fun. I feel like most people agree with this. But suffering in silence and/or assuming we are all okay and/or not wanting to burden anyone with what may be a sensitive topic for others has been a common practice for ages. Also, people simply differ with privacy and socializing. Still, I wish it was simpler to understand one another. I have noticed younger generations seem more open with talking about suicide and processing trauma online.

 

[Shamana]

Some people can have suicidal thoughts or feelings without any serious wish or intent on acting on them. When I first crashed after years of depression and went to my doctor I had occasional sucidial thoughts and feelings, but I could rationally see that if I could sucessfully treat my depression and my health problems I could have a life worth living. It was only later when I was so severely damaged by my treatment and other factors(including personal fuck ups). and could no longer find I wish to live with the broken brain and body I started to think seriously about it(making plans about it, thinking how and when etc.).

 

[PeacefulStars]

I think a reason for some being ashamed to admit their suicidal feelings is the immense stigma attached to suicide. That you are selfish for even thinking about doing such a thing and being viewed as weak and useless and like the man you talked to said; a loser. It causes people not to open up; in fear of the ridicule and shame they know exists. This is not the case for all people but I know this is a facet in many peoples lives in whether it be in recovery or not; especially those like myself who were raised in a branch of radical Christianity and other religions for others. Having it pounded into my head that I would be burning in hell eternally to never see those I love again since I was a child; to have someone die of suicide within the church and to have them be openly ridiculed and demeaned in front of the entire congregation of people. It's extremely sad. Nothing about the pain they might of been going through, only distain and disgust.