How Not to kill oneself

[NotOurFriend]

By slitting your wrist...
Well even if its commonly known, that it is a very bad method, I still want to give my informations about it to keep even more people from trying this horrible method.
So I was really depressed that night and started drinking a lot of wine, about 1,5 bottles, because I thought it would help with the pain and SI and it kinda did, at least with the SI. I also took Aspirin. However after in finished the first bottle and started to feel the alcohol I took my knife and was ready to cut. I know quite a bit about the human body, so I exactly knew where to cut and so I did. And I definetly hit the right spot since there was a lot of blood coming out in the first 4-5 minutes. However despite drinking a lot of wine it was unbelivable painful, but I thought I had done it correctly so I waited and drank more. I tried to close my eyes and sleep, but of course it didnt work. After a bit of time passed I noticed that there wasnt really much bleeding anymore and since the pain wasnt that bad anymore I thought I am close to death. I again tried to go to sleep and I actually managed to. Well I woke up probably 3 hours later was in pain and there was a lot blood on the floor and couch. I then realised I fucked it up and called the emergency service so they would take care of my injury. They even told me later, that I cut quite deep and pretty ""good"".
I am telling you this so that you dont even think about trying it, because it WONT work no matter how much you think you can do it. Trust me I knew where to cut and I cut deep, hit the right spot and still didnt die. And also afterwards you gonna have to clean up the mess, will have a big scar along your forearm and a hand that is a bit less useful reminding you of your stupid decision. And yeah it is very painful.
At least there is a good thing about it, for the moment I am not considering suicide anymore. Still depressed but not suicidal.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound so horrible, I find it hellish and beyond cruel how people cannot have the option to leave in a more peaceful, reliable way and end up resorting to methods like that in the first place.

 

[silent.desperation]

Sounds awful. I read in another thread that the success rate of cutting is only something like 1.2%

 

[NotOurFriend]

That really does sound so horrible, I find it hellish and beyond cruel how people cannot have the option to leave in a more peaceful, reliable way and end up resorting to methods like that in the first place.

Yes, thats probably the biggest reason why people still try it. And in other descriptions it just seems like people either dont cut correctly or end up not going through with it and thats why they fail. So some think if they are comitted and know what they are doing they can do it, when thats simply not the case. If I had cyanide that evening I would have probably used that and died rather quik.

 

[NotOurFriend]

I imagined what this was like and I'm glad I couldn't bring myself to do this after all. What are you like physically now after such blood lost and how did you avoid being sectioned? It's terrible you felt you had to do that

I am quite alright at the moment, not good, but as I said I am not going to kill myself anytime soon. With that much blood lost, you kinda just feel really tired, but since it happend about a month ago there arent really any affects from the blood lost anymore.
Of course I didnt wanted to go to a mental Hospital. It may sound silly but when the medics arrived I told them what happend and started joking about the situation a bit. I remember actually saying: Well If that didnt work, what will ? Or: At least now I know I am not gonna try it again. The doctor who asked if I want in a mental hospital I told: One failed attempt is enough for a year, dont worry. Also I live in Germany and I am rather wealthy so I pay for medical expenses myself (that includes mental hospital) so I could decide if I wanted to go there.
Others would probably just have been put there.