goodoldnoname923
Wanting to find peace
- Mar 28, 2024
- 832
Going back to when i was with her I constantly thought of what other people thought of me,people from my past people from my present and just always craved and wanted more people in my life
Yet really extrovert or not my mind never should've been like this,in blues year absence prior i isolated myself,the reality is that's exactly what I should've done with blue
My brain should be wired in a way I didn't need to see or speak to her everyday,my brain should be wired in a way where I don't give a SHIT what anyone else thinks only her opinion and view should've mattered to me
My mind should be wired in a way were I don't trust or need anyone but i can hold this mentality without being outwardly bitter about it,my mind should be wired in a way that i'd trust her no matter what and never be hurt by her because she never would…my brain should be wired in a way i let no one else get close and if they want to force their way in i should react not foract
My brain should be wired in a way that only i and her mattered…but its not and even if it was now its tooo late…so what do i do now…wander this lonely earth constantly hated and despised by others constantly begging and bending my own will and mind for their approval…for acceptance…for understanding…maybe i should stop trying to fight for validation…for my indivual right…for what i think is right…i should just bend over conceed and just be what people want me to be…do what people want me to do…anything just to be liked even if that means fully breaking myself
Whats more important my individuality or being liked by others? I really thought both were possible but I've come to a stage in life were i realise thats simply not the case…i can choose to find whoever i am and be hated by basically everyone and who maybe someone likes me or jist be ok with no one likint me…or i can just scarfice everything that makes me me just to be liked by others
My controversial opinions,my humour,my intelligence,my feelings emotions and thoughts everything that makes me an individual
Yet really extrovert or not my mind never should've been like this,in blues year absence prior i isolated myself,the reality is that's exactly what I should've done with blue
My brain should be wired in a way I didn't need to see or speak to her everyday,my brain should be wired in a way where I don't give a SHIT what anyone else thinks only her opinion and view should've mattered to me
My mind should be wired in a way were I don't trust or need anyone but i can hold this mentality without being outwardly bitter about it,my mind should be wired in a way that i'd trust her no matter what and never be hurt by her because she never would…my brain should be wired in a way i let no one else get close and if they want to force their way in i should react not foract
My brain should be wired in a way that only i and her mattered…but its not and even if it was now its tooo late…so what do i do now…wander this lonely earth constantly hated and despised by others constantly begging and bending my own will and mind for their approval…for acceptance…for understanding…maybe i should stop trying to fight for validation…for my indivual right…for what i think is right…i should just bend over conceed and just be what people want me to be…do what people want me to do…anything just to be liked even if that means fully breaking myself
Whats more important my individuality or being liked by others? I really thought both were possible but I've come to a stage in life were i realise thats simply not the case…i can choose to find whoever i am and be hated by basically everyone and who maybe someone likes me or jist be ok with no one likint me…or i can just scarfice everything that makes me me just to be liked by others
My controversial opinions,my humour,my intelligence,my feelings emotions and thoughts everything that makes me an individual
