![Onasis](/data/avatars/l/41/41080.jpg?1657651446)
Onasis
Member
- Jul 10, 2022
- 16
I am in therapy once again and my next session is coming up soon. I have told her a bit, but not all the details. I tell her that I don't socialize that much due to not having social skills and social anxiety. I haven't told her that I really do hate people generally. Most of the time socializing just makes me hate people even more. It is very rare for me to go out and talk to people whether it is IRL or even on discord without me realizing how much i do not enjoy talking to people. When I am depressed or in a bad mood,
I also like to watch gore videos of people dying, mainly by suicide, as it shows someone finally relieving their pain. I have watched others as well, but I don't like watching those because it is involuntary and those people might have actually enjoyed living just to have it taken away from them. I do think about suicide quite a bit and even harming others to a point although I would not act on it because I wouldn't have the courage to anyways as I am used to letting people walk all over me and treat me like shit.
I don't trust people that much, not even my therapist really which makes it hard for me to talk about anything because I think she might think that I am crazy and try to do something weird. Should I tell her about the gore watching whenever I am depressed/angry or is that a major red flag and she'll think that i am potentially crazy because I have told someone before and they thought I was crazy.
I also like to watch gore videos of people dying, mainly by suicide, as it shows someone finally relieving their pain. I have watched others as well, but I don't like watching those because it is involuntary and those people might have actually enjoyed living just to have it taken away from them. I do think about suicide quite a bit and even harming others to a point although I would not act on it because I wouldn't have the courage to anyways as I am used to letting people walk all over me and treat me like shit.
I don't trust people that much, not even my therapist really which makes it hard for me to talk about anything because I think she might think that I am crazy and try to do something weird. Should I tell her about the gore watching whenever I am depressed/angry or is that a major red flag and she'll think that i am potentially crazy because I have told someone before and they thought I was crazy.