How much do you miss the physical contact with other human beings?

[noname223]

Today I watch a philosophy show the topic was (more or less): The magic of physical contact. Yeah I barely have physical contact. The show made me pretty depressed I was annoyed though I also try to think about profound topics which annoy me. Like the one time when they talked about the magical feeling of sex. Lol. Yeah this was rather a downer. And in contrast to my usual downers like listening to sad music it kind of hurt.

There were one or two sentences which hit me. To be honest I don't fully agree with them. Okay there was one philosopher who said touching other people is so amazing, it is life changing, it transcends meaning in life. He talked a little bit pejoratively about people who are unable to have social interactions that contain this phyiscal contact. He concluded. Many people who suffer and deny that life has meaning lack physical contact. He described the magical energy one gets if you touch another human being. That touching our parents is very important for our development. (Yeah I agree to that.)

To be honest I tried to think rationally about it. Yes I lack physical contact to other people. Sometimes I hug my friends but it is not a magical feeling. By far this is way too exaggerated. In the show they talked about hugging parties. Yeah I doubt that this would prevent my suicide. I think physical contact to a girl who I had a relationship with could have a very positive influence on me. Though I am not really this person who needs so much touching. In my opinion the show exaggerated the healing effect of it.

I can remember during my first extreme severe depression I had the impulse to hug other people. I often hugged my mom. Which is quite ironic because her violent abuse/hitting aka touching caused my horrible condition. I mean for a short period of time I felt comforted but to be honest it is not life changing. In the end it does not change anything. I am a person who rather needs cognitive comfort. Maybe I am only saying this because I lack this physical contact and secretly envy other people who have it. But as I said when I touch other people I mostly don't care. The wish to hug other people (which my sister also had during her first major depression) is not existing anymore. I learned it does not really change things.

I am lonely but rather on a metaphysical level. Touching other people is the most important thing. I rather need the emotional support. Though a part of it can be for example being hugged. Though I feel like I receive a lot of emotional support in this forum and noone of you ever touched me. Lol.

Then I could analyze it with another perspective. The domestic abuse was mostly caused by physical contact. Maybe this has influenced my relation to physical contact.

I don't want to pretend physical contact could not have a positive influence. But it depends on the person I guess. WIth the people who I hug currently like family and friends it is not that special. I am really sad I am probably unable to get a gf. I could imagine hugging a girl could be something special. Though when I think of it. I hugged a good looking girl some years ago. (Lol kind of pathetic it is years ago) We were not that close but I told her I had my birthday recently. Then she suddenly wanted to hug me. I did it. But I felt uncomfortable doing it. The other girl who stood by recognized I felt uncomfortable. We only shook hands. Both looked very good. But for touching someone I seemingly need a personal conncection. Maybe I am kind of conservative in this instance.

Do you miss phycisal contact? Do you crave for it?

 

[Marine]

The lack of connection tortures me to a level where I'd rather be dead. I don't know how to connect at this point if no one wants me and my physical state is so degraded I can't even go outside anymore despite craving it to death...

Physical contact works only with physical et psychological compatibility, in my case it doesn't work with anyone I'm not attracted to on both levels so it makes sense that touching anybody wouldn't work, you need a real connection first.

 

[HappyForever?]

I miss physical contact very much. It's simply magical. The few times I hugged a member of the opposite sex, I felt out of the world, and all the pain, loneliness and sadness of life disappeared in an instant.

 

[BEATNGU]

This one barely wants to make eye contact, let alone physical contact. They dread it when they must shake hands. This one cannot remember the last time they were hugged though so their opinion is up in the air on that one.

 

[outatime_85]

Some days I miss physical contact, but I can only worry about what I can control.

I have no control over who wants to or does not want to have physical contact.

I may want it, but if other people do not think or feel I am worthy of it, then it just won't happen.

And over time, one can become desensitized to such emotions and feelings, which may cause other issues.

 

[Sibyl Vane]

I'm not sure if I can say that I miss something I never had, but I do crave it. And is not just the mere act of touch but the love and affection that comes with it. It saddens me that I will leave this world never knowing what it is to be loved or cared for.

 

[jamie_]

would do anything to squeeze their hand again

 

[Slimetae]

it's been so long since I've been around other people or had a girl bc of the shit I go through I stopped caring .

 

[dreambound]

If you don't overthink it too much, & there is a connection between 2 people, contact such as a hug can be quite
memorable. I think it helps to see it in context of the accumulated wreckage of relationships generally & value the
simplicity of a moment without the marriage, mortgage, conflict & boredom that would likely follow, should you
want more than that moment.......

 

[Foresight]

I remember when I was in isolation and had barely spoke to anyone in years. I hadn't been touched at all for that time and had no hope of it happening again. It was the absolute worst feeling, like I didn't even exist.

I think sex is overrated but to have no bonding physically or mentally is hell. I think it caused brain damage for me but that's just theory on my end. It certainly caused trauma. My partner held me extra tight last night and I was in literal heaven even after 5 years with him. I felt so safe and loved. It never gets old. I think that feeling is the best.

I wasn't hugged as a child either and I'm not a touchy feely person with friends or family. I only get that experience with romantic partners. It can't be forced like in a planned hugging party. That takes the authenticity out of it which is half the charm. I find any touching with acquaintances painfully awkward and would rather not, but on the rare occurence I am close with someone it is a peak human experience.

 

[symphony]

I don't think about this one much. Like I don't actively miss physical contact on a day to day basis. I never had any real interest in sex. But there are times when I'm feeling really low and I'm all empty and achy inside where I long for some sort of archetypal protective and comforting figure to be with me and hold me close. In those moments I do feel lonely, and the desire for touch is part of that. I'll huddle up in a ball and hug my own arms around myself, wrap blankets tightly around myself and squeeze stuffed animals, or sit on the floor of the shower while letting hot water fall on my back in a pathetic, desperate attempt to feel the warmth of physical contact with other human beings.