The answer is probably individual. There is the vulnerability-stress model as far as I know. So everyone has a limit. Twice in my life I studied so much that I collapsed.
However my bipolar disorder was the reason for that. Before my first collapse I thought it is great how resilient I was. Quite the opposite is true.
I think it is way easier to prevent a psychosis than to prevent a mania for me. Because usually the mania triggers the psychosis.
When I was young I wanted to become a politician. I still envy the resilience of these people.
I was in a mixed-manic episode prior to my first psychosis. I estimate I probably studied like 12 hours or more daily for 4 months till my first psychosis happened. WIthout any break. Some people laughed at me for being so stupid or I blamed myself for it. However to that time I did not know I am bipolar and that was the reason why I studied so hard/strong agitation. Moreover I barely slept which was pretty counterproductive. It is cynical with 7-15 my mom hit me for studying too less. And with 15 she hit me for doing too much. Sick world.
Prior to the second psychosis I studied less. However I stopped taking medication which backfired completely and fueled my mania. I studied maybe 10-11 hours for 5 months again with no break. Then I got the second psychosis. The studying is deeply pathological and it is very much entrenched in me because of the abuse.
I tried to live the life of a 9 to 5 worker. Made me extremely crippling and severely depressed. Was fired because of that.
Now my last shot I try it with college again. I notice I increase my work load more and more with every semester. I survived the first semesters without becoming manic again. I take huge amounts of medication but they don't work perfectly.
I really noticed I falled into bad patterns of behavior. My studying becomes excessive again. Slowly it increases. At the start of the semester I allowed myself to study 4,5 hours per day with one day as a break. Now at the end of the semester I studied 3 weeks without a day as a break. It started with 5-6 hours a day. Then I fully panicked and started to study again 7-8 hours again. The only thing that prevents a mania is my addictive medication.
I think the only reasonable thing is to take less courses. I am not sure how pathological that studying is but it is clear I am susceptible to external pressure. I hope with this strategical move I stop this development. Because if these things go on there will happen something very bad.
There are two possiblities: Either I become addicted to benzo or z-medication or I get a new mania. Both could lead to me suicide. I hope very much that I can outsmart my illness with having less courses.
That was a lot about me. Personally I am not good at saying where my limit is. I often don't feel exhaustion. I think this stems from bipolar and my abuse. I don't treat myself nicely. The first time I studied so much I hoped to die because of karoshi.
Now I come to other people. I think many things determine your stamina and resilience. Your education as a child, your genes and mental development. To a certain extent one can try to improve it. By finding positive ways to cope with stress.
I envy people with major resilience. I think many politicians have it. At least most in high positions. They negotiate sometimes the whole night. I would become ill after one. And that is their lifestyle. At least where I live. It is said Angela Merkel had extreme resilience. However sometimes you read about politicans in lower positions who struggle. It was revealed one was taking meth to cope with the stress. Another German secretary on federal level committed suicide when the pandemic started.
Now to one country I like: Japan. When I was younger I admired Japan. Now I know the work life balance is horrendous there. Way too many die due to karoshi which is insane. I read about the schedule of famous mangakas. You can find them when you search for it. Some cannot be true. I read a lot about mangakas but I think there is a lot of misinformation and many stories are rather myths. No human being could stay productive with 3 hours sleep 6 days a week. I don't know the details anymore but that was roundabout a number I still have in mind. However I am no expert but for me it sounds like bullshit.
Well my memory tricked me a lot. Just searched for another mangaka schedule and it sounds more plausible. 1 day 2 hours sleep, 2 days 5 hours and 4 days 7 hours. Still probably way too much. Not sure if it is true. It is kind of fascinating for me when people dedicate themselves to something. I always saw an appeal in that. But I tend to be way too extreme about it.
I only study part time but would you call 7,5 hours per day for two weeks soon before an exam as too much? My friends told me that was extreme. I am just not average at it. I am extremely self-disciplined probably to an insane and unhealthy amount. Perfectionism is killing me. The direction I am heading (more and more stuying) is not good. I hope next semester I will take less courses. Without the addictive medication I would have relapsed a long time ago. However I always say to me never increase the dosage because this is the point where it gets really dangerous. Yeah and I am close to that point.
What do you think? Holy shit how long that thread has become. Not sure how many threads I can write till I collapse but honestly they are rather relaxing for me because I am reflecting during it and I listen to sad music which cools me down.
However my bipolar disorder was the reason for that. Before my first collapse I thought it is great how resilient I was. Quite the opposite is true.
I think it is way easier to prevent a psychosis than to prevent a mania for me. Because usually the mania triggers the psychosis.
When I was young I wanted to become a politician. I still envy the resilience of these people.
I was in a mixed-manic episode prior to my first psychosis. I estimate I probably studied like 12 hours or more daily for 4 months till my first psychosis happened. WIthout any break. Some people laughed at me for being so stupid or I blamed myself for it. However to that time I did not know I am bipolar and that was the reason why I studied so hard/strong agitation. Moreover I barely slept which was pretty counterproductive. It is cynical with 7-15 my mom hit me for studying too less. And with 15 she hit me for doing too much. Sick world.
Prior to the second psychosis I studied less. However I stopped taking medication which backfired completely and fueled my mania. I studied maybe 10-11 hours for 5 months again with no break. Then I got the second psychosis. The studying is deeply pathological and it is very much entrenched in me because of the abuse.
I tried to live the life of a 9 to 5 worker. Made me extremely crippling and severely depressed. Was fired because of that.
Now my last shot I try it with college again. I notice I increase my work load more and more with every semester. I survived the first semesters without becoming manic again. I take huge amounts of medication but they don't work perfectly.
I really noticed I falled into bad patterns of behavior. My studying becomes excessive again. Slowly it increases. At the start of the semester I allowed myself to study 4,5 hours per day with one day as a break. Now at the end of the semester I studied 3 weeks without a day as a break. It started with 5-6 hours a day. Then I fully panicked and started to study again 7-8 hours again. The only thing that prevents a mania is my addictive medication.
I think the only reasonable thing is to take less courses. I am not sure how pathological that studying is but it is clear I am susceptible to external pressure. I hope with this strategical move I stop this development. Because if these things go on there will happen something very bad.
There are two possiblities: Either I become addicted to benzo or z-medication or I get a new mania. Both could lead to me suicide. I hope very much that I can outsmart my illness with having less courses.
That was a lot about me. Personally I am not good at saying where my limit is. I often don't feel exhaustion. I think this stems from bipolar and my abuse. I don't treat myself nicely. The first time I studied so much I hoped to die because of karoshi.
Now I come to other people. I think many things determine your stamina and resilience. Your education as a child, your genes and mental development. To a certain extent one can try to improve it. By finding positive ways to cope with stress.
I envy people with major resilience. I think many politicians have it. At least most in high positions. They negotiate sometimes the whole night. I would become ill after one. And that is their lifestyle. At least where I live. It is said Angela Merkel had extreme resilience. However sometimes you read about politicans in lower positions who struggle. It was revealed one was taking meth to cope with the stress. Another German secretary on federal level committed suicide when the pandemic started.
Now to one country I like: Japan. When I was younger I admired Japan. Now I know the work life balance is horrendous there. Way too many die due to karoshi which is insane. I read about the schedule of famous mangakas. You can find them when you search for it. Some cannot be true. I read a lot about mangakas but I think there is a lot of misinformation and many stories are rather myths. No human being could stay productive with 3 hours sleep 6 days a week. I don't know the details anymore but that was roundabout a number I still have in mind. However I am no expert but for me it sounds like bullshit.
Well my memory tricked me a lot. Just searched for another mangaka schedule and it sounds more plausible. 1 day 2 hours sleep, 2 days 5 hours and 4 days 7 hours. Still probably way too much. Not sure if it is true. It is kind of fascinating for me when people dedicate themselves to something. I always saw an appeal in that. But I tend to be way too extreme about it.
I only study part time but would you call 7,5 hours per day for two weeks soon before an exam as too much? My friends told me that was extreme. I am just not average at it. I am extremely self-disciplined probably to an insane and unhealthy amount. Perfectionism is killing me. The direction I am heading (more and more stuying) is not good. I hope next semester I will take less courses. Without the addictive medication I would have relapsed a long time ago. However I always say to me never increase the dosage because this is the point where it gets really dangerous. Yeah and I am close to that point.
What do you think? Holy shit how long that thread has become. Not sure how many threads I can write till I collapse but honestly they are rather relaxing for me because I am reflecting during it and I listen to sad music which cools me down.
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. Gosh I hope your overworking gives you a smile at the end of the semester with A* in all course units 
. I'm curious though, as I don't know what it's like to have BPD, is the prescribed dose regimen of your medication addictive, or do you like impulsively take higher dosage, no judgement?
