Venting How many times have you tried to fix your life, and how far did you get?

[Mandzio]

Just wondering, because no matter how much I try, I end up in the same place.

 

[Darkover]

i tried learning programming for a decade into i got a brain injury in 2016 had over 100k downloads and made 10k profit it's my firm belief if someone was looking after me i'd been able to create something that a lot of people use and made a living off it, but i havent had anyone looking after me for 19 years now

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I have tried a multitude of times to fix it but it seems as though the game of life is constantly against me.
Like a rat in a maze that has no exit, I just can't escape this never-ending nightmare.

 

[Dead Ghost]

I just have health problems, if it wasn't for that, I would be a different person with a different life.
No matter how hard I try, this just slows me down.

//

Només tinc problemes de salut, sinó fos degut a això, sería una altre persona amb una altre vida.
Per més que ho intento només em frena això.

 

[FuneralCry]

Only death can solve what I see as being the true problem which is existence itself. I've never really wanted to endure this torturous and futile process of slowly dying and suffering in the process, I will always see it as preferable to cease existing no matter what.

 

[backtoearth]

I have tried too many times to be able to count. The furthest I got to fixing things was either when I was in college - doing well(ish) - and a drag queen with an active social life or when I started to build my childcare career, got a job in my dream nursery, started Open Uni and was excited for the future. Both of those lives crumbled horrifically so now here I am again - debating whether it's worth putting effort into a new one.

 

[iamalreadydead]

never had the energy or drive to follow through on anything

 

[Unending]

Over and over and over and over again to the point where I genuinely don't believe that there is help for me anymore. I really don't know what to do anymore so I just wait.

 

[Old Friend]

I got a full time job. It's backfired massively on me, like most of my ideas.

 

[Some place nice]

I have fixed myself up before. I have gotten to the top and loved it. Even when we had to put our oldest cat down I was still at the top. Then I get in an accident (not a bad for me but the other care was undrivable). Every day all I heard was " the insurance is gonna go through the roof now" I can't remember the rest I tried so hard to block it out. It was everyday, everytime we talked it was about that. It was my first accident, I needed to be cheered up not brought down. One day driving home from picking her up I decided that I should try to talk to her about it. Immediately she told me "I never did that" than it went to "I did it like once." Than the fight began. And she has just gotten worse after that.

 

[prezmyl]

in the old life once and made it. In the followed fucked up life I was trying to fix it pretty much for 13 years with a different intensity, after the first intense 7 years when I put up a good fight to maintain the normal-like life circumstances under the crazy suffering and almost got to the resolution, but failed badly to proceed. Now i have that method, but no life any more, no motivation, age, power nor a will to go through with it to try fix myself one more time and build something. it just feels one too many

 

[Mx_Pathetic]

It's been bad since the middle of primary school. At 9 was my first attempt, then I started to get help, therapy, techniques, pills after a few years it got tiring but I still kept trying when I was around 16 I was going to end my life, it never happened, so I kept trying to get better. I'm 20 now and 1 and a half years ago or less I stopped getting help, I still take pills but they don't work. So I've decided that if I can't be helped, if I can't better, then I'm not living the rest of my life like this. So next year I'll be ctb

 

[greebo6]

Too many...far too many....
The last effort was finally getting an okay full time job after a long time of nothing. But bad mental health made it all extra difficult.
Ultimately I was let go because I was too stupid and useless to do the job well enough and I was too ugly to be accepted in the workplace (other people don't like being around/looking at stupid/ugly people all day).
So back on life's scrapheap with nothing and no options again/forever........ (except CTB of course)