How many people want to die because of living in a toxic family situation

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Right now, moving out isn't possible. I am still in college and live with my dad and brother.My dad and I, honestly, have gotten along better over the years. Talking openly about abuse and mental health, etc. Though what triggers me is how he treats my brother and how my brother treats me. Since our horrible abusive mom passed away (thank the heavens) hes had to take on there of parenting by himself. This isn't to excuse huis abusive behaviors, but he gets into fights with my brother, or my brother will start hurting him. And then my brother will take out his anger on me. Its a lot. I would tell my dad, but that would just be another fight. Sometimes im like, maybe everyone would change if I died an left them a bunch of hurtful suicide notes

 

[sadstuffie]

I'm so sorry you have to suffer through that. I can understand as my family (mostly my mother) is incredibly unhealthy. I luckily dont live with them right now, but because of a recent development I might have to go back & that is what's pushing me to suicide.
I wish parents were more educated about having kids so that people wouldnt have to have their lives ruined because of their behaviors.
I'm sorry, I know it's tough. :(

 

[Incorrigible77777]

Me

 

[noaccount]

For me, it's not that I think anyone from my family-of-origin was especially, particularly bad, but that society gives adults unforgivable power over minors, gives men unforgivable power over their wives, and so on. To create a respectful, egalitarian relationship, one would have to fight hard against the currents, commit role-treason against the power-over that they were given.

bell hooks wrote really well about the dynamics at play:

https://imaginenoborders.org/pdf/zines/UnderstandingPatriarchy.pdf

However, I'm still no-contact with them. It was still their choice to be loyal to those roles and that's not something I will allow in my life.

I'm very sorry you're stuck living with these people.

 

[Joey]

You have one more year left and I hope you can hang on for a bit longer..

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

i'm so sorry you're forced to live with people like that.

for me, my family is toxic, but not as bad as they were a few years back. i was abused by my dad while "visiting" him and my mom didn't believe me, and she even had her go at abusing me when my mental health was shit. thank god she's not like that anymore, but still.

i don't think suicide notes will make abusive family members change their ways. most of the time, they don't even see anything wrong with their ways, so they don't want to change. all they would do is act like the victim or lie about how they treated you. i've rarely seen an abuser actively try to change.

 

[Xiaomi]

I'm Asian and life has been hellish because of high expectations and pressure. We are basically robots.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

i don't think suicide notes will make abusive family members change their ways. most of the time, they don't even see anything wrong with their ways, so they don't want to change. all they would do is act like the victim or lie about how they treated you. i've rarely seen an abuser actively try to change.

This.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

Me, my family is so toxic and it's really hard to move out and be independent because of the arabian culture...

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Update

Well I full on spiraled due to processing all my trauma. I fell into a bad BPD spiral and was hell bent on committing suicide tonight. So it scared my brother and he didn't want me to die. He got super scared. Which, I guess is fine but doesn't change the fact I still want to die. If it was guaranteed I would have a better life, I would die right now. Give me the gun. I'll pull the fucking trigger

 

[melp]

You write in such a way that you reach people. I don't know why, but I don't want you to leave this world. Maybe I am a hopocrit and enjoy watching your sad posts.

If this can comfort you, then I too come to terms with my death more and more.

 

[Fire&Ash]

I've felt manipulated, gaslighted, overwhelmed, and cornered by my family member. Right now I stand up to her, but I still look like the bad guy because of surrounding family circumstances. All I want is boundaries. And right now it's staring to play a big role in my goal to ctb

 

[Sinai Silence]

Everyday is a struggle living with my mum I'm just there to be her emotional punching bag and moving out isn't on the cards.

I hope you find a way to get through this. Maybe you could give a wakeup call to your brother to wind his neck in. How old is he? Maybe if you're able to talk sense into him he will start trying to respect your dad more. You said things have improved so hopefully there is a way for it to continue like so.

Hugs

 

[bigdog]

+

 

[Deardaddy]

Everyday is a struggle living with my mum I'm just there to be her emotional punching bag and moving out isn't on the cards.

I hope you find a way to get through this. Maybe you could give a wakeup call to your brother to wind his neck in. How old is he? Maybe if you're able to talk sense into him he will start trying to respect your dad more. You said things have improved so hopefully there is a way for it to continue like so.

Hugs

I'm evil . Yes , there is no need to find justification of who is wrong or right. Suicide does not justify who's wrong who's right . If your dad , mum is evil in nature blame society that mold them to be . Hate society not just your mum.

 

[Tabbyql]

It's a part of it yeah. They are the reason for my bpd, even though my brain as blocked all the trauma. I'm sorry all of you are dealing with that, family should be loving and supportive.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I'm so sorry you have to suffer through that. I can understand as my family (mostly my mother) is incredibly unhealthy. I luckily dont live with them right now, but because of a recent development I might have to go back & that is what's pushing me to suicide.
I wish parents were more educated about having kids so that people wouldnt have to have their lives ruined because of their behaviors.
I'm sorry, I know it's tough. :(

So true. I think many people don't know how to parent. I mean nobody is the perfect parent, but abuse is so common and we often don't know we are being abused in the process

 

[noaccount]

I hear you and I really really don't think you being hurt by these people is "you having a personality disorder."

 

[xLosthopex]

It's one of my reasons yes