How many people here want to truly CTB?

[avoid_slow_death]

Silly question. I know. But after reading a lot of threads here and talking one on one to a few members, I have come to the (possibly erroneous,) conclusion that a good amount of people here don't WANT to, but feel there is no viable alternative. So, what are your thoughts on my theory?

 

[faust]

All the people are different. Many people who I am talking to, truly want to CTB, some are desperate and do not actually want to die, but they see no other options, some want to recover but can't. Everybody has a different story, different life experience. This contributes to their decisions.
As for me, technically I can run from everything, but I will never run away from myself. I want to die not to live. I am tired of living.

 

[Horrors Lazuli]

Silly question. I know. But after reading a lot of threads here and talking one on one to a few members, I have come to the (possibly erroneous,) conclusion that a good amount of people here don't WANT to, but feel there is no viable alternative. So, what are your thoughts on my theory?

This is EXACTLY how I feel. I was dealt the shittiest cards in life but I was to suck as much joy as I can out of this world before my inevitably early exit.

 

[NotMeantForHere]

Yea that's some people's case, like faust said I think everyone's different. I think a lot of it is just about control. We want the things in our life that we need to potentially take our life if it comes to that. It's the whole Pro-choice thing, that we should be able to have control over our own life like that. Unfortunately we have to do it undercover because that's not the way society sees it..

 

[defeated]

I can't help but feel like my life is in someone else's hands almost constantly. So when I have to go, I go.

 

[k75]

For me, your theory is pretty accurate. It's all very complicated. I don't WANT to want to die, but I can't stop the urges.

I don't hate life, and I don't regret being born. In a lot of ways, I'm lucky. I really wish I could live and enjoy the things I have.

But I'm haunted by all the things I don't have anymore. That's all I see. I've lost pieces of myself, and my physical scars are a daily reminder I can't live with. I'm unable to adjust to whatever my life has become and unwilling to let go of the future I lost. I also suffer from chronic illnesses, and have severe depression on top of everything else. It all adds up to a situation where the only solution is to run away from myself, and there's really only one way to do that.

 

[gnomeboy17]

Haha, actually in my "note" I use the phrase 'i don't want to die, not really' because I knew I don't, but I just don't want to live. Waking up is so draining and I don't see how much longer I could do it for

 

[Mooshi]

Well personally for me, I want to die. I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm tired of life, and I feel as if it wasn't made for me. But like some of the others said, it's different for each person.

 

[defeated]

Well personally for me, I want to die. I don't want to be alive anymore. I'm tired of life, and I feel as if it wasn't made for me. But like some of the others said, it's different for each person.

I like the Amity Affliction quote in your bio.

 

[DyslexicForeigner]

ME!

 

[defeated]

ME!

YOU!

 

[randomz]

I don't WANT to, but I kinda don't see many other options for me. I wish my life was better and I was a better person. I am tryng to be that person but for now things are not working out for me....

 

[defeated]

I don't WANT to, but I kinda don't see many other options for me. I wish my life was better and I was a better person. I am tryng to be that person but for now things are not working out for me....

Take it from someone who only ever wishes for things, it will get you nowhere, but more heartache. I'm sorry.

 

[BlackCatTalk]

De lo único que estoy seguro es de que CTB es la única decisión de la que estoy seguro, todo lo demás fue una serie de estupideces mías

 

[s1mplem3]

Obviously not all of the suicidal people want to die (and definitely they're not crazy as our society think), but I bet all of them want to be happy.

 

[Darkhaven]

I would say that 99% of the people who want to die do so not because they don't want to live but rather because they don't want to live under certain circumstances they were put on. Should a solution for these problems be offered, whether we are talking about money, a cure for a disease or a solution for a romantic affair, and their will to die would vanish, i believe.
So people here are no different than most human beings: they wish they could turn things around and live their lives in the most enjoyable way possible. When that's impossible they start to plan their death but most still have hope of recovering and turning things around.
There is absolutely no problem with that. Please remember that death is permanent, and there is no coming back from it, unless you believe on ressurection or on life after death or on soul immortality.
2 weeks ago i was inquired by a new member if i really wanted to die given that i have been here for almost a year. I didn't bother to answer because i think a website like this doesn't serve only for people to come here to die.
This place also serves for likeminded people to come here and vent and confide about life's pressures, burdens and struggles. No one should be pressured into killing themselves and i think there is no "overstaying" or time limits to be in here.

 

[randomz]

Take it from someone who only ever wishes for things, it will get you nowhere, but more heartache. I'm sorry.

Yeah I guess that's true. I also try actively to help myself be better but this shit is so hard it even makes me wonder if it's worth it. I guess I will find out.

 

[defeated]

Yeah I guess that's true. I also try actively to help myself be better but this shit is so hard it even makes me wonder if it's worth it. I guess I will find out.

The best advice I've been given is to be able to manage my expectations. Yes. Life is very difficult. There's a strenuous amount of work that goes into it. But maybe sometimes you need to have faith in something other than yourself. Maybe I'm a monologuing asshole.

 

[randomz]

The best advice I've been given is to be able to manage my expectations. Yes. Life is very difficult. There's a strenuous amount of work that goes into it. But maybe sometimes you need to have faith in something other than yourself. Maybe I'm a monologuing asshole.

You definetely are not a monologuing asshole. I think that you should always have faith in something other than yourself. Tha's a secret to life I guess.

 

[SimplyTopHat]

I can't get away from myself.

No matter how much I dive into recovery, it never feels like anything is getting better. I am sick of trying. At this point, I'm desperate to fill my time so I don't have to sit with myself: memories, thoughts about myself, pains, mental health issues, etc.... I don't want any of it.

Just have to wrap up a few things.

 

[Fragile]

I've been thinking about this a lot with the recent crisis and stuff, and what i realized is that i actually want to have a good or at least average life, there are so many things that i enjoy and care about despite my situation.

But the other thing that i realized is that don't want to die from "natural" causes, living to be old would be an absolute nightmare and something that i want to avoid at all costs.
So CTB, specially with a good method, is something that i actually want and something that will happen even if tomorrow i wake up in healthy and good looking body. not even in the most perfect of lives i would want to die naturally and grow old, and since my life couldn't be further from my dreams, i'm very comfortable with dying by my own means.

 

[TStorm]

I don't want to die, but to escape, but I'm always trapped and the only escape is death. Painful thoughts, painful body, there is nothing I can do but to die. I dunno. My thoughts spiral wildly and some days I'm fine, and others I am one step from the edge but I can't leap off anyway. It's all pointless anyway. I am worth nothing and I will not be missed. And then I'll be free from the pain. Except I can't do it. I'm that much of a failure. Can't even die properly

 

[sadgirl2002]

I really want to CTB, no matter how much hope I have that things may turn around the way I want them to. I've lost everything and I can't run away from what's in my head... I can't run away from myself. I keep thinking about my life and it's really pushing me to end it. I've lived in denial for so many years when it comes to my parents and their state. My uncle who passed away in 2009 came in my dream two days ago, I cried in the dream and I woke up crying. I just wanted to go right at that moment. I don't like what my life has become, everyone has it better. I'm all alone, I didn't get the happy family I wanted since I was a child, I was bullied and hated by everyone, all my so-called friends hurt me and left and the one I love will probably never come back. There's no reason for me to stick around other than I'm an idiot who thinks he will come back.

My life will never get better. At least if he comes back, I will be able to accept everything that happened, how it happened was for us to find each other, even though that would be difficult itself. I don't know, I don't see any other option for me. Death is my only way out of my pain.

 

[AintNoWayOut]

"don't WANT to, but feel there is no viable alternative"

yup, thats me. i'd rather not but life as it is isnt worth living.

 

[defeated]

You definetely are not a monologuing asshole. I think that you should always have faith in something other than yourself. Tha's a secret to life I guess.

I have a very juvenile outlook on everything, so maybe take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

[Forgiveme]

Me, i basically can't think about anything else for 4 months now. I also don't want to change my mind.

 

[revolucion]

All the people are different. Many people who I am talking to, truly want to CTB, some are desperate and do not actually want to die, but they see no other options, some want to recover but can't. Everybody has a different story, different life experience. This contributes to their decisions.
As for me, technically I can run from everything, but I will never run away from myself. I want to die not to live. I am tired of living.

True.

 

[262653]

I believe that no one wants to die, not as the end of itself at least, just as no one wants to live. It's about avoiding pain and reaching for pleasure (as always, but I'm not certain it ends here). Dying is very scary. Very scary feels very bad and and is a more pressing issue to deal with than other, lesser bad things. Things like food, sex, power and knowledge promote a prospering life. Getting your wants stomped by the laws of nature and by the wants of other living beings, not being fit to serve your nature, being weak, mentally and physically, grief, disaster, sadness, doom, gloom and other similar things are more related to death, dying, losing grip over life. One might spot the pattern and make a conclusion that one wants to live and doesn't want to die... I wouldn't be too hasty about that. It's still a pattern and not a law.

Many humans have grown smart and conscious. Humans started to see that sometimes pleasure now leads to more suffering in the future, and vice versa. Also humans started to spot patterns and predict things. And some humans started to see their own inadequacy/insufficiency, related to the prevalent pain and suffering in their lives. Dying is pain/suffering now, but it's not that unambiguous to us now, thanks to our intelligence.

Religion also sounds like a fix here. It allows the planning man to exist without trying to kill himself. Funny thing, so do the most known philosophies. Which is hardly surprising because we are in the kingdom of the living. (This was the last sentence here btw, and it's where I'll stop for now.)

I think that most now people are capable of understanding suicide because most people do understand the concept of sacrifice (give up something you want to get something you want which is considered more important than the given up thing). Doing exercises so you get the rush of feel good hormones, and look more attractive. Doing job so you can afford food and shelter, so you don't feel bad from starving and sleeping on lice-ridden bed in some dirty place. Behaving on SS so you don't get banished... Same with suicide. One has to confront the bad feelings that arouse in response of approaching death, to get something valued that is believed to happen with/after death and requires death as its prerequisite.

If I were to ask a similar question, I'd probably phrase it as "How many people here consider ctb as the solution to their problems?" (it's not clear where the "truly" part draws the line).

 

[BabyYoda]

I want to but I'm scared of the consequences that will come after if I survive

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I would say that 99% of the people who want to die do so not because they don't want to live but rather because they don't want to live under certain circumstances they were put on. Should a solution for these problems be offered, whether we are talking about money, a cure for a disease or a solution for a romantic affair, and their will to die would vanish, i believe.
So people here are no different than most human beings: they wish they could turn things around and live their lives in the most enjoyable way possible. When that's impossible they start to plan their death but most still have hope of recovering and turning things around.
There is absolutely no problem with that. Please remember that death is permanent, and there is no coming back from it, unless you believe on ressurection or on life after death or on soul immortality.
2 weeks ago i was inquired by a new member if i really wanted to die given that i have been here for almost a year. I didn't bother to answer because i think a website like this doesn't serve only for people to come here to die.
This place also serves for likeminded people to come here and vent and confide about life's pressures, burdens and struggles. No one should be pressured into killing themselves and i think there is no "overstaying" or time limits to be in here.

This is what I should have added to clarify my OP. Was my intention in the first place, especially the section where you stated, "Should a solution for these problems be offered, whether we are talking about money, a cure for a disease or a solution for a romantic affair, and their will to die would vanish, i believe." That was my intent to get across, but I unfortunately did not explain my point further. I am definitely not anti choice on this matter. I strongly believe in free will. Thank you for detailing the points I did not touch upon as I had intended to originally.