I have everything I need for SN. I wish it were N, but this will have to do. It's comforting in a way. Everything feels a little less claustrophobic and trapped.
fettuccinee
Member
- Oct 3, 2019
- 54
I'm not doing a peaceful method per say really, but I do have what I need and couldn't be happier about having it at standby, stress free at that.
mynameispaige
Member
- Sep 1, 2019
- 58
I feel the same way. I don't have any plans but just having it here makes me finally feel like I'm in control of my own life.
I definetly would feel better if I did. It would make everyday a choice, not some hell I'm trapped in.
Lol! Right, in case shit hits the fan I can gulp it down. It does give me some peace of mind for sure.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
I felt so comforted when I had it - then (SN) then it got taken away - now back to torment - I tried to set up a P.O. box - like a delivery thing at a post office as someone recommended but as far as I cn see it's only for cities and not available service at post office nr me plus seller I went to online - now says none available - feel trPped again :(
Dreamwithinadream
Member
- Sep 21, 2019
- 75
I glad I have what I need but I wish it wasn't so hard to just use it.
I'm sorry. The people you live with took it away from you? I keep my stuff in a lockbox.
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
it was found in the mail - and the address from where it came from I.e company was looked up - in addition to which I was walked in on opening it- I foolishly thought it would be ok as I had been receiving many little parcels in the post from friends since I've not "been well"but the company name / sticker gave it away - I thought they would just see it as another parcel from a person wishing me well- how stupid i was!!
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
thks JS - i was really looking forward to my way out- and now of course beating myself up - the drama that ensued after they found it nearly gave me heart attack! (I wish-haha-sad laughter)
snowman626
Mage
- Jan 28, 2019
- 545
yeah i dont plan to ctb till my mother dies which could be another 5, 10, 15, 20, years. but still bought SN and meto and when it arrives i'll keep it safe in a drawer in case i need it suddenly and will have it on hand. you never know what will happen in life, if suddenly you get a painful disease, lose your legs in a car crash, or whatever it is that fucks up your quality of life really badly, you're gonna want a way out. it'll be nice to just have a suicide drink or pill in your bedroom ready to go rather than having to deal with the stress of looking it up online and buying it and dealing with shipping and out of stocks and all that bullshit when you're already in a bad spot. so thats why i choose to buy it now and stock it in my bedroom when im healthy and sane and able.
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MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Crushed_Innocence
Hungry Ghost
- Oct 16, 2019
- 423
Dystopia
💤💤💤
- Jul 22, 2019
- 367
It's calming in a way. Not having to worry about all the hurdles of getting stuff is also great.
I think having N has made me want to try a bit more to get better because it's so easy to CTB at this point.
I think having N has made me want to try a bit more to get better because it's so easy to CTB at this point.
I received SN and antiemetic on the same day and i felt a feeling of calm I haven't felt for years. I know when I am ready I have everything I need.
I am definitely more serene knowing that I have an "emergency exit", if I feel ready or if shit hits the fan. I can enjoy every day without worrying about establishing a plan for a method so that's one less worry at least; now I can focus on all my plethora of other problems lmao.
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I feel strangely liberated. It's a strange feeling, one that I cannot put into words, waking up every morning into this somewhat shitty, but still alright student flat and knowing full well, that if I decided so, this day could be my last, and in only about 15 minutes, my existence could come to an end.
I have everything needed for SN as well as a combat tourniquet. I'm only a bit nervous if someone were to find them while visiting.
I have everything needed for SN as well as a combat tourniquet. I'm only a bit nervous if someone were to find them while visiting.
sleepy dog
Wizard
- Sep 13, 2019
- 624
I felt so much calmer and sure when I had the N. I have 2 methods at home now, but I don't feel nearly as sure about them. I think having the N makes people feel better about being alive. They are probably more willing to take those risks they were afraid of to make their life better. Can you imagine how it would be if it was legal? Suicidal people could possibly live a better life until they took it. That would be amazing if it was legal.
Ἡγησίας
Student
- May 20, 2019
- 191
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
I had my N but I couldn't do it. I was afraid and sad and leaving those I loved so for me it did the opposite it made me do something! To try and get better.
N no one more and now lithium. Wish me luck
N no one more and now lithium. Wish me luck
MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
Long story - I thgt I was being careful enough - but let's just say shit hit the fan - big time !!What's your chosen method? :)
How come your SN got taken away?
Rachel74
Enlightened
- Sep 7, 2019
- 1,716
This is so true. You have the best method but your like actually I don't need it. I then had a real melt down 2 weeks ago where I drove off with it in the car with me. My partner found me and had the 3 dogs in the car and I just looked at them and cried. Especially Buddy who is 11 and my doggy soul mate. I just couldn't. That's when I decided I had to get rid of the N or I could easily do this again.
Dystopia
💤💤💤
- Jul 22, 2019
- 367
Soul
gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
- Apr 12, 2019
- 4,704
I believe it's known as "having a choice". I've got what I need to make an exit so I choose every day to stay or go. It feels downright luxurious.
khw777
Just trying to catch a bus!
- Oct 18, 2019
- 235
It's hard to imagine or realize that owning N if caught could be an $825,000 and prison sentence at least that is what I read. How can that give you peace of mind. I apologize I don't mean to be rude or offensive. I'm jealous I was scammed $450.00 for N online. I'm so stupid. Glad you got some.
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