A

affirmatice

Student
Aug 31, 2024
138
For me, it's my parents.

I've long tried to justify their actions. I don't know why. Maybe because they do care for me, maybe because they've done a lot for me in certain areas.

But I don't know. Doesn't change the fact that they failed me, badly. They were careless and neglectful in ways I can't even understand.

I don't even know why I care at this point. Why I care about writing a suicide note that wont hurt their feelings and lie to them to make them feel better.

My reasons for suicide are a direct result of their poor parenting that has permanently damaged my life. Maybe they don't deserve the pain either, in the same way I don't deserve this pain. They weren't necessarily evil, just careless, inattentive.
 
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TheHolySword

TheHolySword

empty heart
Nov 22, 2024
128
In a way, yes. I think I was failed by many people. But ultimately my biggest failures are by myself. Everything that has led me here has a direct link to my own actions. I failed myself. I'm the reason I never had a chance at a good life. I am so sorry though that you had such a rough upbringing, that your parents were so inattentive to your needs. Everyone deserves love and compassion. I hope that you are able to heal from this and I hope you can find your peace
 
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J

J&L383

Mage
Jul 18, 2023
587
For me, it's my parents.

I've long tried to justify their actions. I don't know why. Maybe because they do care for me, maybe because they've done a lot for me in certain areas.

But I don't know. Doesn't change the fact that they failed me, badly. They were careless and neglectful in ways I can't even understand.

I don't even know why I care at this point. Why I care about writing a suicide note that wont hurt their feelings and lie to them to make them feel better.

My reasons for suicide are a direct result of their poor parenting that has permanently damaged my life. Maybe they don't deserve the pain either, in the same way I don't deserve this pain. They weren't necessarily evil, just careless, inattentive.
My parents failed me, too. Medical decisions made on my behalf while I was a minor were ill conceived. It took me many years to see the truth of this, and now that they're finally dead I can move on. I do share your grief, I hope you find your peace. 🌷
 
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ScaredOfMachines

ScaredOfMachines

I am who I am
Nov 8, 2024
52
For me, it's my parents.

I've long tried to justify their actions. I don't know why. Maybe because they do care for me, maybe because they've done a lot for me in certain areas.

But I don't know. Doesn't change the fact that they failed me, badly. They were careless and neglectful in ways I can't even understand.

I don't even know why I care at this point. Why I care about writing a suicide note that wont hurt their feelings and lie to them to make them feel better.

My reasons for suicide are a direct result of their poor parenting that has permanently damaged my life. Maybe they don't deserve the pain either, in the same way I don't deserve this pain. They weren't necessarily evil, just careless, inattentive.
It's understandable to be conflicted about your parents. I still feel loyalty to mine even though they're transphobic to me, and made it clear that I can never be who I am while I live with them. But I still don't want them to feel bad either since they've done a lot for me otherwise, so I want to avoid hurting their feelings as well.

My situation is mostly my fault, but if I had to say someone failed me, I guess it would be my teachers growing up. It was obvious going through school that I had a lot of issues, but none of them really lifted a finger to help, even when I started missing a lot of it because I couldn't get out of bed. I wonder if they would have at least listened to me if I had caused a racket or was a troublemaker, but instead I was extremely quiet and easily looked over. But I was the one who acted that way, so I guess everything loops around to still being my fault in the end.
 
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D

dontwakemeup

Student
Nov 11, 2024
139
A lot of people failed me, but initially my mother had the biggest impact over my life! My mother abused drugs and her actions led to me being adopted by an evil and corrupted individual. My adopted life was far from a fairytale, it was a nightmare which caused me to be abused by many people in several different ways. I wish someone could have helped and saved me!
I could blame everyone but I've decided to walk away from everyone and live a life of solitude and created my own safe space and peace.
I only engage with people if I'm at work and getting paid. It's a lonely life but I'm the happiest I've been by myself.
For me, it's my parents.

I've long tried to justify their actions. I don't know why. Maybe because they do care for me, maybe because they've done a lot for me in certain areas.

But I don't know. Doesn't change the fact that they failed me, badly. They were careless and neglectful in ways I can't even understand.

I don't even know why I care at this point. Why I care about writing a suicide note that wont hurt their feelings and lie to them to make them feel better.

My reasons for suicide are a direct result of their poor parenting that has permanently damaged my life. Maybe they don't deserve the pain either, in the same way I don't deserve this pain. They weren't necessarily evil, just careless, inattentive.
I'm sorry your parents weren't able to give you what you needed and deserved growing up. I think being a parent we tend to inadvertently treat our kids how we were treated. If your parents are still alive, I suggest you get some type of resolve and tell them how their actions have impacted you. I can almost guarantee they probably doesn't see your view or even aware they have treated you unfailingly.
 
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