Discussion How many of you are here because of love

[StaringIntoAnAbyss]

Was wondering how many people are here because of love (break up or anything else).
For me personally love is the best and worst thing there is. I was done with life already so it just made it way worse.

 

[violetskies]

for me, love is one of the only things keeping me from ctb, even if i can't stop thinking about ending it all the time. if i lose her i'll have nothing left to lose.

 

[mortuarymary]

for me, love is one of the only things keeping me from ctb, even if i can't stop thinking about ending it all the time. if i lose her i'll have nothing left to lose.

Same here x

 

[Raichu]

Well its love and a couple of other things. At last life did cook with a lot of different ingredients to make the final recipe of "me wanting to ctb"

 

[ATort]

Very big part of it for sure, a lot has happened in that department for me recently, and that on top of everything else, old and new, have become very overwhelming. Because of that love it also makes it very hard to ctb In my case. I love love I really do but whenever it dips even just a little I feel so crushed and worthless.

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Never experienced romantic love

 

[annointed_towers]

 

[DoomValuer]

I haven't experienced any kind of love but I'm fine with that

 

[blitzk]

A girl I loved before, she liked my best friend, another girl I loved but never told anyone, my other friend liked her so I did my best to keep her out of my mind, and my other friend that my beloved bastard of mine 'loved' a girl that I will die for, and she chose him a relationship lasted for a monyh but my friend cheated on her, now my last love, knew I liked her, now she liked my other friend. Sometimes I don't want to be jealous, I just wanna die, never feel anger, hate, sadness, jealusy, envy and scorne against my friends or people around me. Now only regret I have is loving. Made a whole paragraph now, but I don't care i'll be dead in 10 days.

 

[Tobacco]

I've just been in one romantic relationship and when I lost it just after 10 days I felt like a part of my body was ripped away.

 

[BlessedBeTheFlame]

Not the same thing, but I'm mostly here because my sexual orientation disgusts me. I guess that might count. I know I don't deserve to ever live and people will just hate me for it, so it's better if I CTB.

 

[barkbark]

i'm here in spite of love. i really want to ctb but i really can't do that to my bf. he'd be devastated as much as my brain tries to pretend otherwise

 

[Nofuture1234]

I see love as one of the worst parts of life because I'm permanently excluded from it. If it was possible for a woman to truly love and desire me I wouldn't even be here. I used to have higher goals but I realized no matter what I'll never be happy if my base needs are never going to be met. Unless I grind money and get a gold digger but that's basically just prostitution, which is hardly love.
I wonder how many people would keep going if they knew being loved and desired was impossible for them.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I actually first joined this site because I was feeling guilt at not being able to attend my grandparents' funerals but I would say that most of my suicidal urges have been love-related, or I guess related to a lack of love…

 

[rozeske]

Yes but for the lack thereof

 

[spring vainglory]

my bf was the one who introduced me to this site, does that count lol? he doesn't use it anymore tho, he's no longer suicidal.

my bf is my everything, the most beautiful phenomenon i have ever experienced. without him i wouldve ctb already. i have no hope for life anymore, every odd is against me in this life. but i can't bring myself to leave him. ofc i dont want to hurt him, but its less that keeping me alive, and more the hope that one day i wont be in such a horrible situation that i'll be able to repay him for all he's done for me, to take care of him too, to love him the way he deserves but has never had. i want to so bad, i want to be the one to do it, i want it to be me.

he already knows he's the only thing keeping me alive. he doesnt know that last time i threw away my ticket to ctb that i decided loving him would be my purpose for living. if it doesn't work out, whenever he leaves me, that's when ill go. i do feel some sort of guilt for continuing to burden him with my financial and emotional needs. i drain so much from him and he just puts up with it quietly... i cant take anything if im dead.

i don't want to live in this world, but i don't want to live in any world where we're not together. since we're together here, i'll stick around for now.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Not me. Whether I experience love or not, it doesn't change life for what it is so, regardless of whether I'm loved or not, I'd still wish to ctb

 

[ForsakenEcho]

She is the one keeping me around, we don't really have anything anymore but I love her and she needs my support. So I'll be here for her, if the time comes where she no longer needs me, maybe I'll be ready to cbt

 

[breezeboy]

I was done with life already so it just made it way worse.

Exactly. I was already done. Already defeated.

And then an angel was sent to me. She came into my life and for the first time in years I could see light. Being in her presence made nothing else matter.
In those moments with her I was happy.
Then it was over.

I should have known.
I never learn my lesson and because of that one more stake had to be driven into me.
Into my heart.

 

[searchingforpeace]

Romantic love is probably the worst thing about life because it's the thing that gives you the most hope and then it's the thing that ends in the most complete paint think about it

 

[DeletedAccount0864]

Yes and no.

I have a fucked up life from the beginning with lunatic evil parents, so I have a ton of trauma from that even today. Despite that, I met someone and fell in love when I grew up. But because I was such a damaged person, I ruined that beautiful relationship. It has been years but not a day goes by that I don't think about her. But that's not the whole reason I'm here. I'm just a severely broken man in general.

 

[dogbreath]

Yeah broke up with my partner like...8 months ago and I miss him and since he's gonna i feel like I can never find love again cause of how unattractive I am lolol. I hate that he knows all of my secrets that he's seen me and touched me and I wish he could forget about me and I wish I could forget about him the thought of him being with someone else rn makes me want to message him and beg him to take me back. When I die I plan to send him one last message to make sure he feels guilty for everything