Venting How many more months do you think you can endure?

[Journeytoletgo]

I'm setting my limit to October/November 2021. I cannot wait to end myself and never feel anything again and remember anything from this life.

 

[Throwawaysoul]

It all depends on my money situation.

 

[death137]

I really hope this is my last month.

 

[WornOutLife]

I thought I was gonna ctb either last year or this one but, it seems I'll be around for some more years!
(I'm deffo getting the hell outta this planet before my 40s. I'm 33 now)

 

[Shadowgeist]

I think I will ctb either this month or the next. I dont see myself holding on any longer than that.

 

[Weary Soul]

Same as others have said here - I will be here until my money runs out or my health becomes intolerable.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

30 years tops

 

[motel rooms]

30 years tops

Stop scaring people with reality, most of them can't handle it

 

[nopointofliving]

Maybe 2- 6 months....

 

[Journeytoletgo]

30 years tops

I wish I could say the same for myself

 

[Wraith]

This month. Dunno when exactly

 

[Largeletters]

This is an interesting question, I'd say at most, two, but I'm really not sure as I never thought of this question specifically. I don't want to live for more than that, but I thought I'd be dead for a long time by now, so who knows.

 

[FuneralCry]

It all just depends on what happens in my life, if things get worse I will try to leave sooner. I should have left years ago honestly. Whatever happens I will never reach old age, and that is a fact.

 

[hahabye]

I was hoping to be dead before my 26th, which is in a month, but it seems like I'll have to wait till the end of July. I really don't want to have to live through another birthday, but the circumstances are making me

 

[Livingvsdying25]

Tbh same... latest Fall/Early winter.

Summer is already fucking killing me and its barly began so honestly hoping to be finally kill myself this summer.

 

[Celerity]

I honestly don't know. I thought I had a few years left in me, but it's looking less likely with each passing day.

 

[LastWhisper]

This july/august/september, depends on a few conditions that affects the availability of my method. I can't believe I've been here for almost 2 years :o

 

[WaitingForTheBusInTh]

I'd like to be able to wait the 2 years for the laws for MAiD in Canada to change so I can have a peaceful death. But every say, all I can think about is 'should I hang myself when I get home?'. And all I think about at home is if I were to hang myself then, would there be enough time? I want a peaceful death but I dont know if I can hold out.
Sometimes at night I go on a drive with my noose in my backpack, to see if I could bring myself to do it. Evidentally that hasn't worked out

 

[nolongerhuman]

I don't know. I wake up every morning thinking "should I?" and then deciding against it for various reasons. If Graduate school is anything like my last year of undergrad though I don't expect it to be very long. Can't do that again and am much too stubborn to change careers.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Stop scaring people with reality, most of them can't handle it

I don't think people in here get so easily scared. But yeah, I guess it is scary when you realize you can handle pretty much everything.

 

[motel rooms]

But yeah, I guess it is scary when you realize you can handle pretty much everything.

We're like cockroaches & rats, indestructible

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

We're like cockroaches & rats, indestructible

 

[motel rooms]

View attachment 69584

On a completely unrelated note, the other day I learned that 3 of my favorite porn stars died by suicide. It didn't happen recently, but it still made me sad. One of them was a pharmacist in Hungary before he made it in Pornywood, so he successfully OD-ed on a cocktail of meds. He was 45. I think I'm in love with him now & fantasizing about doing nasty stuff to him feels weird

 

[lonerclown666]

3 or 4

 

[Thisgirlwantstosleep]

I'm trying to hold on but my present is unbearable and my future is incredibly bleak.

I'm going to buy the SN, meto and propranolol regardless when I get my money tomorrow but honestly I could go at any moment. I have literally nothing to be happy about or stay for.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

I don't even know why I'm still here. I don't know what will happen, & it's terrifying. I'm stuck in a awful limbo. But things are quickly getting much worse, I've never before felt like I had so little (almost nothing) to live for. I can only hope this suffering ends soon.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

On a completely unrelated note, the other day I learned that 3 of my favorite porn stars died by suicide. It didn't happen recently, but it still made me sad. One of them was a pharmacist in Hungary before he made it in Pornywood, so he successfully OD-ed on a cocktail of meds. He was 45.

No matter how awesome it seems I think porn is very tough, for some people. Playing with your intimacy can play tricks on you. And is not a healthy way of dealing with hidden agendas or mental illness. I watched some interviews with pornstars. Some of them look dead inside. No doubt this is the wrong line of work for them.

I think I'm in love with him now & fantasizing about doing nasty stuff to him feels weird

Think of it as paying respect to the guy. His legacy lives on.

 

[motel rooms]

No matter how awesome it seems I think porn is very tough, for some people. Playing with your intimacy can play tricks on you. And is not a healthy way of dealing with hidden agendas or mental illness. I watched some interviews with pornstars. Some of them look dead inside.

It's hardly a secret that many porn performers are damaged people... Thankfully, I'm not into scenarios where the younger &/or physically weaker guys get used. It's easier to fool oneself that athletic men who act traditionally masculine don't have feelings & suffer