Discussion how many here are still suicidal even after trying to get help?

[marksofdespair]

I know a lot of people say that before you jump to suicide, try to give life another chance. See if you can get help, see if meds work, see if you can be happy again. I do agree with this, that you could at least try to get help before committing (only if you haven't already). However, I can't help but wonder how many people didn't go through with suicide to go to wards and doctors in hopes of getting better for months, hell maybe even years, then still been suicidal. What do you even do in that situation? You self-admit or talk to someone, try holding on for a little bit longer, but in the end that didn't even fucking work. In this case, I whole heartedly think someone should be able to commit totally free of judgment. They tried, it failed, they are still extremely suicidal.

I had contemplated going to the doctor again before going through with ctb, but my mind just can't shake that even if I go, get thrown in the ward for some months, what if I come out, still the same, still suicidal. I'd be fucking pissed I didn't just do it now. So what would actually be the point anyways?

What's your experience been like with trying to get help?

 

[AngelTear]

Yes I'm still suicidal even from the few times I tried to get help
I will say I didn't try too much but the times I did it did nothing for me
Basically it all felt like "Well that was a fucking waste of time"

I've been in therapy twice, neither therapist felt right for me plus I didn't get to see them regularly, it was like months in between meetings

After my first and hopefully only hospitilization (it was for suicidal ideation, I went voluntarily) IT SUCKED. They just blasted me with the strongest does of Prozac (which I didn't fucking need and it made me sick to take it even though I have SEVERE emetophobia), I was only there for like 10 days, and I felt like a prisoner the entire time in that place. I stopped taking the medication because it wasn't what I needed, WHAT I NEED IS TO GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY NOT A PRESCRIPTION.

When I was young (like around 13) a friend of mine tipped the school off that I was suicidal (fucking bullshit tbh) and my parents tried taking me to a psychologist but they were it's too expensive then NEVER gave a shit about getting me help afterwards (hell they even didn't think I needed a therapist fucking assholes that's why I never tell them shit.)

So basically just a lifetime of being neglected, not taken seriously, and poor care

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

I've started pills and therapy. It helps slightly but I have a lot of deep regrets and shame. I also have a lifetime of work ahead of me. I'm old now, 36, and like the song goes, the thrill of living is gone. I don't see how anything could fix me.