Help how many days ahead to schedule sui note so you don't embarrass yourself if you survive?

[eggsausagerice]

title. sorry for the low effort post. tonight i realized i'm coming down on the wire now. it makes me feel restless and peaceful at the same time. how many days ahead are other people planning on scheduling their sui notes? i'm planning on leaving notes to a couple people now, just so they don't wonder what happened to me. i think that saying i did it would be better than leaving the people i'm close to or have interacted with in the past in the dark. i feel especially bad about contacting my very well meaning high school friend i ghosted in early december that i killed myself, but she probably deserves to know. she wanted to support me but i blocked her because her being success just made me hate myself more. she couldn't relate to what i was going through. it feels awful being around someone that doesn't remember what it's like to suffer because of how much they changed.

backtracking on what i said before, i think non-suicidal people truly want to know if you died or not, even if they can't fully understand or support killing yourself. i've been thinking about things from the perspective of the people i'm leaving behind way more now that my end date's coming up. i'm just trying to avoid the shame that comes from telling people too soon or before failing your attempt, then hating yourself so much you immediately try again to "make up for it". it's worse when everyone knows and tries to say you being alive is a good thing. i won't be making a goodbye thread because i figure i'm not a very popular user here, but know this will be one (i'll still check my notifications occasionally) of my last public posts here. thanks for everything.

 

[Forever Sleep]

My plan is to schedule an email to my solicitor. I'm thinking two days after the attempt will hopefully give me time to cancel it if I fail. I intend to attach my notes to family and friends to that email. Presumably, the solicitor will have confirmation from first responders before everyone is notified.

 

[eggsausagerice]

I'm thinking two days after the attempt will hopefully give me time to cancel it if I fail. I intend to attach my notes to family and friends to that email. Presumably, the solicitor will have confirmation from first responders before everyone is notified.

hospitalization may leave you without your phone to cancel the email (what i'm worried about, since i wasn't able to contact anyone without their phone numbers or my phone while in the hospital), as most of my notes will be scheduled texts and 1 email. i think i might stretch it out to a week out of paranoia that i'll need to do a second attempt in the same timeframe.

 

[Forever Sleep]

hospitalization may leave you without your phone to cancel the email (what i'm worried about, since i wasn't able to contact anyone without their phone numbers or my phone while in the hospital), as most of my notes will be scheduled texts and 1 email. i think i might stretch it out to a week out of paranoia that i'll need to do a second attempt in the same timeframe.

Yeah- true- that is a risk. Although, hospitalisation for me would only likely happen if I relented and called emergency services. I live alone, work freelance and it's unlikely anyone would notice something was wrong in that time (hopefully.)

I also feel like I really have to succeed in the first round of attempts. If my primary method fails, the ideal will be to have others set up to move on to. If I have enough capacity to try again then presumably- I'd also have enough capacity to cancel or further delay an email.

Of course, it terrifies me I may only severely injure myself. In which case, I'm going to be totally screwed and alone for an unknown period of time.

It's tricky really- to decide on a time. Longer would seem more wise but then, I don't know how quickly corpses start to rot. I'd rather there be less mess for them to clear up.

 

[Matchaaa]

I might write it a month in advance if there's a lot to say.
I plan to have two versions: one is a suicide note intended as a farewell and to reduce their suffering ,set to be sent in a week or two. The other is a detailed explanation of my reasons, which I'll keep in my phone's notes, as I reckon the person I love might look through my phone.
I hope you find the right answers and achieve inner peace. Good luck.

 

[eggsausagerice]

@dreaming leaving a smile react is crazy lol

 

[dreaming]

@dreaming leaving a smile react is crazy lol

I meant the hug.. misclick, lol