How many attempts of KTB have you had?

[Alexandra0]

And how many of them almost ended in death? Did you interrupt the process yourself or was it someone else?

I have already lost count of how many times I desperately tried to interrupt my worthless, painful, disgusting, meaningless, unnecessary life. Partners came to me 3 times for KTB, but I am still here. Suffering yesterday, suffering today, suffering tomorrow! Only death can break this vicious circle. And I desperately call for it

 

[FuneralCry]

I haven't not properly as after all I'm so cruelly denied the option to cease existing in an guaranteed way, what terrifies me is how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering and torture, it's just so horrific to me how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence. I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have a death like falling into an eternal dreamless sleep with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what instead, it's just all so dreadful to me, all I want is to peacefully cease existing, I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this futile, torturous existence.

 

[bankai]

Just one lol. Partial hanging attempt where I put the noose around my neck and sent a WhatsApp message to my mom at midnight. I knew she switches off her phone at night so I was safe for a few hours. She would have seen my message in the morning when it was too late.

Words cannot express the overwhelming terror I felt when that noose tightened and I felt I was about to black out.I backed out as I blacked out. I deleted the message to my mother as well, thank God.


It's miserable, but I'm stuck with you guys for some time.

I can't overcome my survival instinct anytime soon.

 

[wham311]

I tried a few times one day with partial, not even close. Did not hit carotid.

Bought gun, it was removed from possession. Too scared to go buy the same gun again, red flags

 

[Alexandra0]

I haven't not properly as after all I'm so cruelly denied the option to cease existing in an guaranteed way, what terrifies me is how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering and torture, it's just so horrific to me how there is no limit as to how much one can suffer in this existence. I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have a death like falling into an eternal dreamless sleep with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what instead, it's just all so dreadful to me, all I want is to peacefully cease existing, I'm just always so tired of being burdened with this futile, torturous existence.

I'm so sorry, I see you suffer every day. It's inhumane that we don't have the option of assisted suicide. But death will come sooner or later and then everything will finally be over. But living even 1 day is very difficult

 

[spero_meliora]

for me, 3 attempts, with the last one being many many moons ago. the closest I got was with partial, but it felt like such a pain in the arse to set up that I never bothered trying it again.

 

[Alexandra0]

Just one lol. Partial hanging attempt where I put the noose around my neck and sent a WhatsApp message to my mom at midnight. I knew she switches off her phone at night so I was safe for a few hours. She would have seen my message in the morning when it was too late.

Words cannot express the overwhelming terror I felt when that noose tightened and I felt I was about to black out.I backed out as I blacked out. I deleted the message to my mother as well, thank God.


It's miserable, but I'm stuck with you guys for some time.

I can't overcome my survival instinct anytime soon.

Oh, my dear, you still try to be cheerful, even when it comes to such things. There is so much bright joy in you, but there is also enough sadness. I hope that the scales will tip in favor of joy and you will be cured of your illness. It is hard for me to see you suffer. But I would also feel sorry for your mother, because she would lose such a wonderful son

 

[bankai]

Oh, my dear, you still try to be cheerful, even when it comes to such things. There is so much bright joy in you, but there is also enough sadness. I hope that the scales will tip in favor of joy and you will be cured of your illness. It is hard for me to see you suffer. But I would also feel sorry for your mother, because she would lose such a wonderful son

Kat,thank you.You're crippling me with your words. I know just how beautiful a soul you are. And I'm sorry. I know you're planning to take the bus soon.

I hate that. I respect it, but I hate it. It'll be a sad day if that day comes.I'm sorry.i think of you often.My heart breaks for you.When I read your posts. Yeah. It's not easy . but I'm not going to blubber on too much.

Spoiler

Love you though

 

[Alexandra0]

Kat,thank you.You're crippling me with your words. I know just how beautiful a soul you are. And I'm sorry. I know you're planning to take the bus soon.

I hate that. I respect it, but I hate it. It'll be a sad day if that day comes.I'm sorry.i think of you often.My heart breaks for you.When I read your posts. Yeah. It's not easy . but I'm not going to blubber on too much.

Spoiler

Love you though

If it weren't for my stomach, I think the bus would have taken me very far away from here. I'll make 5 shots of SN and kiss each of them before drinking the first one. I'd do it right now with a smile on my lips. But I'll still try to relieve the pain in my stupid stomach, there's still time until the end of July.
Sometimes it's good to cry.

The feeling is mutual.....

 

[inthesky123]

Twice. Tried taking 39 sleeping pills but woke up and I tried jumping the second time. Hopefully third time's a charm.

 

[FishRain3469]

Ehhh.. I guess it's been a few times by now... But still can't seem to Just pull the Fckn trigger. Thoughts and prayers to you All, It's like a Honest true living Nightmare. Fml. ♥

 

[Alexandra0]

Ehhh.. I guess it's been a few times by now... But still can't seem to Just pull the Fckn trigger. Thoughts and prayers to you All, It's like a Honest true living Nightmare. Fml. ♥

Friend, you and I are very similar in this. I can't pull the trigger of a shotgun either. I've put it in my mouth a hundred times, in vain. But I wish you luck on the 4th of July! You're right - this life is like a real horror movie

 

[FishRain3469]

Thank you.. Ohh.. So much Friend. And for knowing about my plan on the 4th! =) ♥ Thank You, from the bottom of my fckn heart.

 

[Alexandra0]

Thank you.. Ohh.. So much Friend. And for knowing about my plan on the 4th! =) ♥ Thank You, from the bottom of my fckn heart.

 

[bankai]

Thank you.. Ohh.. So much Friend. And for knowing about my plan on the 4th! =) ♥ Thank You, from the bottom of my fckn heart.

Dude, I'm not going to lie, I don't want to be insensitive. But I saw your thread on the partners mega thread about the 4th of July and I was thinking who's going to like my posts from now on?

Spoiler

Nothing but peace and love though

 

[FishRain3469]

 

[Alexandra0]

Dude, I'm not going to lie, I don't want to be insensitive. But I saw your thread on the partners mega thread about the 4th of July and I was thinking who's going to like my posts from now on?

Spoiler

Nothing but peace and love though

I assure you, Josh, your posts are loved by everyone. How can anyone not love you? <3

 

[hankly]

About 4 or 5 real ones. Probably 1 that got close close.

It's been way over a year of this and it's all I can think about :).

Literally just want to do it now to stop thinking about everything so much.

 

[Alexandra0]

About 4 or 5 real ones. Probably 1 that got close close.

It's been way over a year of this and it's all I can think about :).

Literally just want to do it now to stop thinking about everything so much.

Death also fills almost all my thoughts. My attempts began at the age of 21. And I am "on pins and needles" in anticipation of the day of KTB

 

[bankai]

I assure you, Josh, your posts are loved by everyone. How can anyone not love you? <3

Aww.I just switched my playlist from fitty cent to Katy Perry because of you. Even Alexa was surprised

 

[FishRain3469]

Myy.. browser is Fucked off or something, But... I Appreciate and Love Aĺl of you. During this time. ( Mine or yours orr.. Whomsoever) We all Have a time and/ or story it's Just that... Some choose to share, while Some Do Not...

Thank you much Bank. You Do You, while I will do Me. I don't believe you were insensitive at All. Were Just... you're true and heartfelt emotions at that particular time. Love you dude. ♥

hankly. - You are Heard and Felt. Big time thank you. ♥ I'm so Sorry..

 

[girlsboysthems]

2 official, another 3 lame attempts that i chickened out of. bleh...

 

[bankai]

Myy.. browser is Fucked off or something, But... I Appreciate and Love Aĺl of you. During this time. ( Mine or yours orr.. Whomsoever) We all Have a time and/ or story it's Just that... Some choose to share, while Some Do Not...

Thank you much Bank. You Do You, while I will do Me. I don't believe you were insensitive at All. Were Just... you're true and heartfelt emotions at that particular time. Love you dude. ♥

hankly. - You are Heard and Felt. Big time thank you. ♥ I'm so Sorry..

Love you brother,you honestly have no idea how much man.i can't do this shit much longer dude.


I'll be with you one day . we'll play chess. I've never been good at chess. So you'll keep winning

 

[FishRain3469]

Gosh.. Damnt. All felt and heard. Thank you Much! I don't know Anything.. Literally.. about chess. Maybe.... I'd beat you at checkers Tho ! Who Knows



This Certainly goes To Everyone even tho they can laugh or hate on it... I Just Love any kind of Honest and True and.. Loving rhythm and beat.. Had 2 share. =)