![Cress](/data/avatars/l/79/79981.jpg?1697627215)
Cress
Arcanist
- Oct 15, 2023
- 406
I received my SN about a month ago but I haven't managed to remain suicidal for more than a day at a time until recently. I figured I should at least be suicidal for a few days before it actually committing to any sort of plan. This is the first week since purchasing SN that I feel like I could actually take my life. I've been suicidal for a few days Without any break.
I can barely hear anyone's words anymore and I've grown fixated planning my death. Maybe this is just a fear that mental health providers drill into you but I always Feel confused about my real desires Of wanting to live or not. I really don't belong anywhere in any community. So many people treat you so badly Just to make a joke or feed their own ego.
I can barely think straight or even communicate with anyone all I can think about is my own self destruction. Everything around me just seems to be melting.
To be honest I feel like I should act on these dark emotions sooner rather than later. After enough time it always seems to be the same story I'll wake up one day and start to feel like life isn't so bad and I'm permanently in limbo. Struggling to work up the courage to destroy myself.
I can barely hear anyone's words anymore and I've grown fixated planning my death. Maybe this is just a fear that mental health providers drill into you but I always Feel confused about my real desires Of wanting to live or not. I really don't belong anywhere in any community. So many people treat you so badly Just to make a joke or feed their own ego.
I can barely think straight or even communicate with anyone all I can think about is my own self destruction. Everything around me just seems to be melting.
To be honest I feel like I should act on these dark emotions sooner rather than later. After enough time it always seems to be the same story I'll wake up one day and start to feel like life isn't so bad and I'm permanently in limbo. Struggling to work up the courage to destroy myself.