How is confinement affecting your suicidal thoughts?

[Notabadguy]

Are they less/more intense? In my case there is no difference. I keep doing research on CTB, without impossing anything on myself.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

Same as for me, I know I can do nothing about them, so trying not to let them stress me out too much. My thoughts and path are the same, its just waiting for the time, emotionally, mentally, physcially and damn lock down over with

 

[gnomeboy17]

For me I think it's better. A lot of people at school make fun of me, and even though that was only about 20% of my reasoning to ctb, not seeing them again for a while is good.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

My life is unaffected because my job is considered essential and have to leave the house everyday. Just infect me plz.

 

[TotallyIsolated]

Isolation has brought my suicidal thoughts back. I had been doing better for a couple of months, but now I feel like I've taken a huge step backward.

It was a fear of mine that even if I stopped feeling suicidal and even if I got back into work (which I did), things would still be same every day and I still be lonely and isolated.... AND IT ALL CAME TRUE.

I've always been alone and I always *will be* alone. This is literally all there is. My life has already ended. Whats the point of carrying on?

I ordered some SN when things were really bad but I never used it. Its starting to look tempting again.

 

[Sotired_]

It's increasing because I'm so consumed by the thoughts that run my life. There's no escape from them by trying to keep busy. People telling me this won't last forever are not helping because I'm so focused on the right now being awful and no one having a clue how long this will go on for.

I hope to get it and die, but only if I can not spread it to anyone else... So that's not really an option I can seek out. I certainly will refuse treatment if it would ever come to it.

I have a bunch of health issues putting me in hospital for surgery roughly every few months so I guess I'm at increased risk of getting it if that happens, but no other underlying issues to make outcome worse.

The risks of me doing something that requires medical atrention is high, but I'm trying not to since I'd be wasting their time and the NHS don't need that. Not necessarily to ctb quite yet but just to damage myself, that's my kind of thing.

 

[Notabadguy]

It's increasing because I'm so consumed by the thoughts that run my life. There's no escape from them by trying to keep busy. People telling me this won't last forever are not helping because I'm so focused on the right now being awful and no one having a clue how long this will go on for.

I hope to get it and die, but only if I can not spread it to anyone else... So that's not really an option I can seek out. I certainly will refuse treatment if it would ever come to it.

I have a bunch of health issues putting me in hospital for surgery roughly every few months so I guess I'm at increased risk of getting it if that happens, but no other underlying issues to make outcome worse.

The risks of me doing something that requires medical atrention is high, but I'm trying not to since I'd be wasting their time and the NHS don't need that. Not necessarily to ctb quite yet but just to damage myself, that's my kind of thing.

Why do you want to damage yourself? It doesn't make sense. I recommend you to seek professional help.

 

[whereispeace]

It's not really affecting my thoughts that much. I'm a loner by nature anyway, so this is no big deal.

 

[Humanityiamout]

It's keeping my thoughts and feelings the same, I'm managed to get most of my supplies for my method thanks to having so much time.

 

[Woodnote]

It's making me feel worse. Being home alone with nothing to do is making my suicidal thoughts stronger.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

No difference in my case. I feel the same as before isolation. Suicidal thoughts are everyday in my mind.

 

[calendulo]

IMHO, I think that lockdown should not to affecting anything,........one thing is to have suicidal thoughts and another thing is do it, or want to do it.

However, It is true that this fucked virus takes the romanticism off the self deliverance. Like if a thief snatches the wallet.

 

[bpdandme]

Very intense. I'm an outcast in my family.

 

[Empty Smile]

It's still normal for me. This isolation hasn't affected me at all since I'm alone 95% of the time anyway.

 

[Sensei]

My suicidal thoughts are considerably less intense now, at times even non-existent. Less stress and social pressure definitely do me good. I actually fear the thought that things eventually will go back to normal.

 

[Ardesevent]

I'm enjoying things a lot more right now. Complete isolation is kind of peaceful, and now I don't have to worry about a social life or anything.
I still don't want to stay alive, but this is a lot better.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

I think it's making them worse because I have less distraction from my thoughts.

 

[mediocre]

I've always been confined it's not the isolation so much that is getting me it's the fact that I used to love watching new movies or tv shows and eating at McDonald's etc. All of this has stopped. These were really the only good things in my life which is really sad but they took my mind off things at least temporarily. It's going to be a very boring year.

 

[I screwed up]

It's making me feel worse. Being home alone with nothing to do is making my suicidal thoughts stronger.

I feel the same ... Although not alone but feeling trapped at home with parents making my suicidal thoughts way much stronger ... In fact feel I m getting clinically depressed listening to them keep shouting n screaming at me for some of the mistakes I did in the past .. They just don't let me get over it ... Its making me more n more miserable

It's making me feel worse. Being home alone with nothing to do is making my suicidal thoughts stronger.

I feel the same ... Although not alone but feeling trapped at home with parents making my suicidal thoughts way much stronger ... In fact feel I m getting clinically depressed listening to them keep shouting n screaming at me for some of the mistakes I did in the past .. They just don't let me get over it ... Its making me more n more miserable

 

[Marktheghost]

It's not made much difference for me. I've got no social life as it is.

 

[Notabadguy]

IMHO, I think that lockdown should not to affecting anything,........one thing is to have suicidal thoughts and another thing is do it, or want to do it.

However, It is true that this fucked virus takes the romanticism off the self deliverance. Like if a thief snatches the wallet.

I wouldn't mind that the virus stole my wallet, so my parents would suffer less than in case I inded up CTBing.

 

[Sotired_]

Why do you want to damage yourself? It doesn't make sense. I recommend you to seek professional help.

Oh I have it. I mean like Self harm. My life is all about hating myself and deserving punishment. So whilst all this is going on I'm just more isolated with my thoughts so urges increase.

 

[Notabadguy]

What for? If you CTB you achieve something, good or bad, but you achieve something. Self harm doesn't make sense.

 

[calendulo]

I wouldn't mind that the virus stole my wallet, so my parents would suffer less than in case I inded up CTBing.

Guess whoever wants kill her or himself, will do it,I do not think they are worried about lockdown or not lockdown.

 

[Darkhaven]

It's not the confinement itself. It's the people who i have to be confined with that make me want to end it even when i have almost half of my immediate family around me.
Should i have a house of my own and i would be having the time of my Life!!

 

[Sotired_]

What for? If you CTB you achieve something, good or bad, but you achieve something. Self harm doesn't make sense.

It doesn't really achieve anything, it's about attempting to make the noise in my head about doing it stop.

It really doesn't matter. Ignore I even said anything.

 

[darkhorse256]

Definitely more intense for me. Being cooped up at home during the lockdown with an abusive family isn't fun. What also sucks is that I can't meet the one person I love because they stay in a separate house from me.

 

[rat.girl]

It's making it worse. I am being reminded of how truly alone I am.

 

[Notabadguy]

My suicidal thoughts are not worse, but my depression and anxiety are more evident, not worse, becuase before confinement I did a lot of physical exercise, that distracted me, but now depression and anxiety are more evident.

 

[BridgeJumper]

They definitely got worse.
Im alone in the house staring at the laptop and cringing from ear pain, this makes me obssess about suicide hardcore
I started to take meds regularly and it helps a lot but doesnt completely delete the thoughts. I really want to relapse and get high so I could stop feeling like that, just go to sleep with music playing and be calm. But Im in too much pain to listen to anything and my parents confiscated my drugs : /