N
noname223
Angelic
- Aug 18, 2020
- 4,852
I read Infinite Jest from David Foster Wallace and there is a depressed, suicidal person. This person categorizes suicidal people into groups. There are some attention seekers and some who really mean it deadly serious. I think how I described it is very simplified. But it is a good introduction,
But I think it can be decisive to take suicidal people serious. It can determine over life and death. I only talk about suicide with people who take me serious. But at the same time there are people who go nuts when you want to tell them that you are low-key suicidal. (I am not a native speaker is this the right way to use low-key?).
Many therapists have taken me very seriously. There was one staff member in a clinic though that joked I should not drink the whole bottle of antidepressants.
I am obsessed what other people think of me and I am scared people put me in the category of an attention seeker this even increased my suicidality. Which is stupid. But this is the point not to take people's suicidality serious can make them more suicidal. Instead there are narratives like the boy who screamed wolve.
Two therapists gave me up and they think I am a hopeless case that kills himself. At the same time I am not sure whether I have what it takes to kill oneself. I never attempted. I was in extreme pain but I never had any somewhat good method. I am very glad I never attempted I would have ended up with damage and fucking things up even more. But this has changed since I have SN stored under my bed.
And noone in my family ever committed suicide. However, my pain level is extremely high. If I crash the pain will be insane. I got acute suicidal some months ago and this is actually the good time period of my bipolar disorder. I think I won't survive another crash. I just have reached my limit.
In the last clinic I downplayed me trying to do partial and standing at the 7th floor of a building. I think one rational behind downplaying that is that I wanted to be taken serious. However, at the same time I did not want that they become nuts of my suicidality and panic.
What about you?
But I think it can be decisive to take suicidal people serious. It can determine over life and death. I only talk about suicide with people who take me serious. But at the same time there are people who go nuts when you want to tell them that you are low-key suicidal. (I am not a native speaker is this the right way to use low-key?).
Many therapists have taken me very seriously. There was one staff member in a clinic though that joked I should not drink the whole bottle of antidepressants.
I am obsessed what other people think of me and I am scared people put me in the category of an attention seeker this even increased my suicidality. Which is stupid. But this is the point not to take people's suicidality serious can make them more suicidal. Instead there are narratives like the boy who screamed wolve.
Two therapists gave me up and they think I am a hopeless case that kills himself. At the same time I am not sure whether I have what it takes to kill oneself. I never attempted. I was in extreme pain but I never had any somewhat good method. I am very glad I never attempted I would have ended up with damage and fucking things up even more. But this has changed since I have SN stored under my bed.
And noone in my family ever committed suicide. However, my pain level is extremely high. If I crash the pain will be insane. I got acute suicidal some months ago and this is actually the good time period of my bipolar disorder. I think I won't survive another crash. I just have reached my limit.
In the last clinic I downplayed me trying to do partial and standing at the 7th floor of a building. I think one rational behind downplaying that is that I wanted to be taken serious. However, at the same time I did not want that they become nuts of my suicidality and panic.
What about you?